Am I being unreasonable about not sharing income

[mummyclimbingframe]

So my husband and I have two children and put 55% of our income into a joint account to pay household bills, Rent, childcare etc. The remaining monies are our own to pay for things such as phone bills clothes etc.

I earn close to 10k more than my husband per year and he is now saying as I have had to reduce my hours (losing 5 hours per week) this is to be able to drop our children to school, that we should split any remaining monies down the middle.

Now Iam happy to still contribute the same amount to our shared account Even though I have had a drop in salary. I just don’t see why I should have to share my higher income i have a much more stressful job than my husband and feel I should reap the rewards of that.

Iam not sure if Iam being out of order but for the first 8 years he was on very little money and worked very little hours until around 18 months ago so I have always paid the lions share. So much so I could only afford to take 8 weeks maternity leave with our first child.

IMO, if you're both earning, money should be split percentage-wise - ie you both put 70% of your salary into a joint account and have 30% to yourselves.

My personal opinion is if one person’s current earnings and future potential earnings are reduced because they’re picking up the childcare - then you pool your money.

Otherwise, I’m happy with a different contribution from each - but think the higher earner is a dick if they don’t also pay for some extras, like holidays.

This is a fairly common thread where husband is usually the higher, and doesn't want to split remaining money 50/50.

I think that your husband is 100% right, all remaining money should be split down the middle..

You’re being so unreasonable.

I think the pro rata contribution rate is the way to go, but each to their own.

I always believe that if you are a couple and have children then you should always split the money 50/50 ( obviously if you have step kids/extra kids then other factors come into it).
You should always help each other out with money that is part of being a partnership.

Just don't understand how you can be married to someone and want to squirrel your own money away.

I think it should be split proportionately. I'm single now but when I earned more than my partners I always put in more. My ex didn't reciprocate when I was on mat leave but he was a financially abusive arsehole.

What a horrible attitude you have @mummyclimbingframe, the man you are married to may be your husband but he isn’t your partner .

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.
I don't and wouldn't dream of splitting the surplus 'down the middle' once all the bills are equally shared, what's mine is mine and what's his is his.

It depends on the man. If he was lazy and that's why he didn't earn as much, then I think you're right. If he's a decent man who went through hard times, then you're not.

This has always been the agreement Iam not sure why he wants to change it.

So you earn more and do most of the childcare? You contribute more money to the joint 'pot'? If he's contributing equally to the household then I'd be sharing my money equally with him, otherwise I'd want the money to myself to leave the relationship. As anything, its completely unhelpful, but it really does depend.

My husband earns considerably more than me due to working part time with a small child and now being a student again. We pool all money and have the same amount of disposable income each per month for ourselves.

Has he ever made more more than you?

*more money.

Split it by percentage. I agree with you, you earn the money, you should get benefit of it. If he wants more money he should go and earn some more.

Surely if you share a life you should share a bank account.

It’s not really squirrelling as he does really buy anything for the household or the kids clothes as he can be quite stingy so it all come out of my money. I would rather not beg him for a contribution and just buy out of my money we have had this discussion but he didn’t seem very open to how much everything costs. I spend all my money on the kids and stuff for the house to make our lives comfortable.

Sorry this should say does not

why do you have to cut your hours and take a pay cut to collect your children? Why isn't your "D"h helping?

I think you are getting a rough ride here and am outraged on your behalf. You have supported DH for years, had a very short mat leave and now taken a pay cut to pick up DC.
What exactly is your husband contributing??

You're married. What does that mean to you in terms of family money? I think that most people would see all income as joint family money in a longstanding marriage with dc. You don't. But why?

No for the first 8 years he earnt 20k less than me and worked part time because we didn’t have kids and it suited him. It was only when we had I our second child. I suggested he should perhaps consider working FT.

X posted with you, OP. Actually, I see why. Are you sure that you still want to be married??

In your situation I would split by percentage not in half. You earn more, buy everything for the home and kids, pay more of the bills and do more of the childcare.