Reasonable budget?

[Yorkshiremummyof1]

For the first time in years I have my money before my bills, it’s because I’m paid 4weekly and I’ve caught up with it. I’ve been in debt for years, paying it off etc but this is my last chance to break a cycle in terms of panicking about money! This is just my June budget, there’s less money for the end 4 weeks than there will be in July because I’ve already paid my rent so I’m counting it from when I’m paid on Friday to the next 4 weeks. I’d just like some sanity checking especially when the spends, bills not so much. Income includes “rent” from my partner, salary, CB, maintenance. Next month would have an additional £900 but I’ll get to that in July! I have a significant amount of debt so getting this right is vital. For clarity, there’s two adults, a child, two dogs and two cats. WFH so no childcare at the moment, DS is at school 5 days a week so has packed lunches

Income June 2281

Bills June 508.33

Razor sub 8
Virgin media 24
Rent 0 (paid)
Cat insurance 7.53&7.53
Now tv 1.60
Spotify 9.99
Netflix 11.99 (half is paid for by ex, don’t include it in income figure)
NHS 10.40
Kindle 7.99
Mobile 90 (yep! Going down by 25 in august. iPad and two mobiles because I’m a twit)
Council tax 84
iTunes 3.50 (cloud subscription, i need to move all my documents that are in the storage before cancelling)
Dog insurance 25 (two dogs)
Bulb 100 (overpaying as have a balance)
Water 43.40 (rates, think we would pay more on a meter)
Car insurance 35.40
Car tax 11
Dog food 27 (subscription so count as a bill)

Savings 350

Car maintenance 50
Marcus account 250 (building emergency fund)
Help to save 50

Spending 589.96 (this is where it feels too much)

Groceries 200 (usually more but have a freezer full of meat)
Veg box 90
Meat box 0
Fuel 100 (drop of DS8 at his dads in another town, school drop off)
Kitty litter 15
Cat food 45 (one cat has allergies so has to have good food, spent 43 at a time but might last longer than a month, buy from zooplus)
Milkman 25
My spends 45
Clothing 50 (this month £30 Clark’s shoes for DS8, also anticipating a growth spurt and school uniform)
DS pocket money £20 (enough for him to save to buy a game whilst giving him enough that he doesn’t ask me to buy him something, he has a nimbl card to teach him how to budget so he doesn’t end up like his mother. I buy him nothing, anything he wants he has to save for.)

Debt 607.94 including 176.24 to pay off credit card in full which is emergency card. So this payment won’t be there next month as my partner keeps hold of the card and once emergency fund is built I won’t need it.

Leaves me with £225.47 this month

However I have to give DP £40 for blinds, buy a cat litter box disposal thing and some crate mats for the dogs. DP has a lot more disposable income than me, we aren’t married and have only lived together for a few months so we aren’t merging finances, also won’t have a joint account till I have no debt because he owns his house and I don’t want to affect his mortgage renewal. We rent his house out and I get that income as his contribution to my finances.

I have £45 as spends which covers anything I want for myself, tried going cold turkey and due to various compulsive spending issues it made it worse. Actually in therapy at the moment and my compulsive spending has roots apparently. Once I transfer spending to my starling account, DP changes my logins for my main account so I can’t go in and transfer money out. Mum has my savings account logins.

My issue has always been chipping away at my main bank account to the point where I’m stressed about paying rent. This is the first time I have the opportunity to start from scratch. Next month I could have £600 left over with which to pay off debt so I want to prove I can do it this month, hence why I have some spending money for myself. Groceries is a huge issue in our house, DP likes a £10 bottle of wine, I like snacks and we’re a fan of lots of olives and deli meat.....he’s the type of man who will only eat sourdough and posh marmalade. Last month I spent....£600 on groceries. Yep. Disgusting. So I’m going to do a weekly shop and try to do it online

I’ve had years and years of bad money habits so I want to try to make good ones

@Yorkshiremummyof1

I did not realise that.....

Milkman 72pence per pint
ASDA 28pence per pint

I feel bad though because I'm supporting a local business. Ah crap, I know what I have to do :(

Ultimately, supporting the milkman is sacrificing your family at this time. When things are on an even keel you can start again if you wish to.

@Yankathebear wonder if I can take his card in, he’s got two ID badges. I’ll have to check. Because if so.....

I am sure that men's razors & deodorant are cheaper than women's
Compare the prices

I seriously doubt they'd let you use a male ID card.

I can’t really comment with certainty because not in the UK, but £90/mo on vegetables alone seems very very high. When I lived there, and it was awhile ago because left in 2011, I could get a weeks worth of vegetables for around £10. Have prices really gone that far up?

Other than that, I admire you commitment to getting debt free and doing a budget to manage your spending. You seem to have really good insight into your bad habits and are doing everything you can to work around them.

I saw a few water bill mentions. I think it’s regional how expensive water is. But you could look up water saving tips to help. For example, we took out the power showers when we lived in U.K. They not only use electricity but the extra water power means more water being used per minute of shower. I preferred the slower, gentler shower with just the normal water pressure.

I have found the constant counting of money in and out was too stressful for me. So what I do, is every Friday my bank automatically transfers €50 from checking to savings. If I come up short at the end of the month, I’ll take a little bit back. But most months, I don’t even notice it. I see my checking balance go down and seem to self adjust my spending as I go. If the money had been left in there, I know my mind would say...wow...you’re doing great you’re up €75 so far....so of course you can get that top you’ve had your eye on and it’s on sale! With the money grabbed every Friday...my checking balance goes down and I seem to be more frugal because I hate pulling the money back from savings once it’s in there.
It’s been the best tactic for me to save faithfully each month.

There are two things I find strange about your approach to budgeting:

1. The fact that you are living with a partner but your first reads like a single person with one income and sole responsibility for bills.

1. The fact that you are saving a total of £600/month (did I get that right?!! I have copied what you listed below) when you still have debts to pay off.

Savings 350
Marcus account 250 (building emergency fund)
Help to save 50

My main advice is to add up all your shared costs for the home:

• rent
• council tax
• gas & electricity
• water
• broadband
• tv subscriptions if you both watch
• all groceries including supermarket shops and food deliveries

Then you have various options for sharing these costs with your partner; you either split 50-50, split proportionate to your incomes (ie if one earns more they pay more) or if you have kids and he doesn't then you might agree to pay more eg 60-40 or whatever you decide is fair.

Then stop saving (or just save a small amount ie less than £100 each month) until you've paid off your debts, once you've done that you can then increase your savings.

Lastly you know this but £90/month on a mobile phone is ridiculous. Once your contracts are up, switch to sim only deals. Get cheap mobile phone insurance. And if you need to replace your phone at some point it's almost always cheaper in the long run to buy the handset outright (even if you have to put some of it on a 0% interest credit card).

How much is the actual rent that you pay and how much does you partner pay you in "rent" (which is presumably a contribution to rent and other bills)?
What are your total debts? You have energy arrears and credit cards. Anything else? In your OP you said £608 (I've rounded up) - is that the total monthly debt repayment or the total amount that you owe? I assume it's the repayment as you said you have a significant amount of debt.
I would advise you to contact a debt advice organisation like National Debtline, Stepchange or Citizens Advice. They all look at your budget with you and advise on improving it as well as the best option for clearing debts.

@AnotherEmma

There are two things I find strange about your approach to budgeting:

1. The fact that you are living with a partner but your first reads like a single person with one income and sole responsibility for bills.

1. The fact that you are saving a total of £600/month (did I get that right?!! I have copied what you listed below) when you still have debts to pay off.

Savings 350
Marcus account 250 (building emergency fund)
Help to save 50

My main advice is to add up all your shared costs for the home:

• rent
• council tax
• gas & electricity
• water
• broadband
• tv subscriptions if you both watch
• all groceries including supermarket shops and food deliveries

Then you have various options for sharing these costs with your partner; you either split 50-50, split proportionate to your incomes (ie if one earns more they pay more) or if you have kids and he doesn't then you might agree to pay more eg 60-40 or whatever you decide is fair.

Then stop saving (or just save a small amount ie less than £100 each month) until you've paid off your debts, once you've done that you can then increase your savings.

Lastly you know this but £90/month on a mobile phone is ridiculous. Once your contracts are up, switch to sim only deals. Get cheap mobile phone insurance. And if you need to replace your phone at some point it's almost always cheaper in the long run to buy the handset outright (even if you have to put some of it on a 0% interest credit card).

No sorry, next to savings is the total of the below categories. I separate it all out so I know where it is going. The savings is a temporary thing, I have nothing put aside for an emergency, if the car breaks I’d have to resort to a credit card. Dave Ramsey advocates a £1000 emergency fund, so I’m plotting my way to £500 as that’s a reasonable amount then will go a bit slower to £1000 and stop there until I’m debt free. On July 10th a payment will go to my Marcus account for 250 then reduced to 100pm whilst I storm through the debt.

DPs contribution is 50/50 of the bills, excluding dog and child (not his). I guess what he has in disposable, I spend on childcare and the dogs!

Mobiles is a result of me having a contract, ex husband having a contract, and son having one. Ex husbands is in my name so paying that off but luckily ends in august and they’ve just reduced it so I should save a bit over the next couple of months. My contract I don’t use as my work phone is my personal phone, so the sim will get cancelled but unfortunately not until next year and they won’t reduce it. So should be down to £60 in august. Hypothetically august 2021 we could just have one mobile on a sim only deal which would be LOVELY

Debt is high, in the 20s, however most is defaulted ex two cards so I’ll be focusing on the Halifax and hopefully clearing that by December, then the interest free card. Then finish paying off dad and theeeen I’ll try to settle my defaulted debts

I have 200 left this month, paid everything, moved groceries/fuel/clothing etc money to my spending card and once that is gone, it’s gone. I’m going to try no spend days, for instance where I have told myself I need to go food shopping but i just don’t and push it backwards. For instance I was going to go today, but I don’t have to. We have leftover curry, enough fruit, bread, milk etc. All I’d be doing is buying munchies and we just don’t need it. DP might grumble at the lack of Parma ham and olives but he will just have to eat the leftover pepperoni (insert appropriate smug shrugging face)

And for clarity, the reason my bills etc read like I’m a single person is that we’re still getting used to our new living situation, well he is anyway. He’s lived alone for most of his adulthood, lived with a girlfriend for 6 months but is an introvert. I’m wary of throwing too much at him at once. So it suits us for him to pay me half of the bills, additionally it’d not a good time to have a joint account with my credit rating shot to bits. Lessons learned, don’t get into debt, don’t support a lazy etc husband through university who then decides to be unemployed afterwards. So I’m looking after myself whilst we settle into a rhythm, for the protection of me and DS. I can afford to live on my own, only just and would only be paying minimum to my debts. Don’t want to go bankrupt as that would affect repaying my dad. If me and DP don’t work out, I’d like to have cleared the non defaulted debts. That’s quite a pessimistic view but I’d like to think it’s practical

Was your ex husband financially abusive? Credits cards and mobile phone contract in your name... Was it because he had bad credit rating?

Anyway I can understand not wanting to merge finances again any time soon.

@AnotherEmma

Was your ex husband financially abusive? Credits cards and mobile phone contract in your name... Was it because he had bad credit rating?

Anyway I can understand not wanting to merge finances again any time soon.

A few different things but along those lines, I ended up getting into additional debt when I managed to sum up the energy to leave, so paying the price now

Mum. Food for thought. Has anyone tried an eco egg for washing and are they any good? With 4 kids I spend a fortune on washing powder x

My mum uses something like that. Her clothes are all food stained (and she's an adult!).

I expect they are fine for quick washes where there's no real soiling, just day to day wear.
But she also has very hard water so if you have soft water it may well be better.

My tip for laundry costs is to use liquid (which is cheapest per wash) and use half the suggested amount. Also, for clothes that really aren't dirty, use none now and then. And use the quick washes.

I only wash on hot and longer washes for towels and sheets.

We don’t have debt and have a larger income than you but spend significantly less on entertainment and subscription packages than you do. You really need to cut your cloth.

I mean, I spend less than the cost of a TV licence

I think you’re doing a grand job OP.

People will always sniff and hand wring at the cost of internet, phones and streaming subscriptions (It’s a common theme of all these threads that all mumsnetters seem to get all three for less than £3 per month total 🙃). My thoughts - if you actually use them, it’s cost effective entertainment.

Sounds like you just need to get the mindless spending under control (like going to the supermarket when you don’t need to - I’m a dreadful one for that too 😬).

I think you need to include your DP in the food planning/budgeting so he’s aware of what’s what rather than him just complaining there’s no olives! Both sit down and do the meal plan together. I think you’re making a mistake in shielding him from the realities of living as a household - treating him like a child in fact. If that’s how you want things to be forever then crack on, but you’ll never get him to engage and take part if you don’t start expecting it now.

@Isleepinahedgefund

I think you’re doing a grand job OP.

People will always sniff and hand wring at the cost of internet, phones and streaming subscriptions (It’s a common theme of all these threads that all mumsnetters seem to get all three for less than £3 per month total 🙃). My thoughts - if you actually use them, it’s cost effective entertainment.

Sounds like you just need to get the mindless spending under control (like going to the supermarket when you don’t need to - I’m a dreadful one for that too 😬).

I think you need to include your DP in the food planning/budgeting so he’s aware of what’s what rather than him just complaining there’s no olives! Both sit down and do the meal plan together. I think you’re making a mistake in shielding him from the realities of living as a household - treating him like a child in fact. If that’s how you want things to be forever then crack on, but you’ll never get him to engage and take part if you don’t start expecting it now.

I’m trying To ease him into it. He’s suffering what I like to call situational depression because his work routine has been messed up (he’s NHS) and all he wants to do is retreat to his house but he can’t because we rented it out. So if I throw too much at him all at once he just can’t cope. So we’re settling into the routine of living together. Tbh once I’m back in the office he will have to be equally involved but I’m honestly convinced he’d get scared off right now. He has limited mental energy and that’s all being used on keeping his head above water. I think by the end of the year our finances will be more joint, just gotta get through this lovely period of stress!

Re: having savings/paying off debt etc. It makes more sense to pay as much as you can off the debts rather than saving, because if you have the emergency, you simply use the credit card again, but have saved interest in the mean time.

Eg If you have £1000 debt and £200 savings, you pay interest on £1000. I will ignore interest earned on £200 of savings because it's virtually nothing, and certainly a tiny fraction of the interest charged on an interest charging credit card.

If you have £800 debt and no savings, you pay interest on £800.

If you then have an emergency that costs £200, you just pay for it using the credit card and end up in the same position, but will have paid less interest in the meantime.

Well done on reducing the cost of some of the expensive subscriptions (milkman, razors, veg box). As others have said, you could go back to these when you are on a more even keel, but for now, paying off your debts should be your main priority and taking the cheapest option where possible is one of the best ways to do this.

For milk, you could buy a single pint or two from the supermarket and keep the container to decant some into for your DS as it is far cheaper to buy the 4 pint cartons, but it sounds like these are too big for your DS to use himself? Or if you have a suitable lidded plastic cup, that would work.

Re your partner's expensive food tastes, I think it is reasonable for him to buy his own wine, olives, marmalade etc if he wants things outside your budget. After all, he has a lot more disposable income than you, despite you earning more.

Maybe you could also let him try some cheaper versions without telling him, to see if he likes them. Many people 'insist' that they only like the expensive version, but can't pick which is which in blind tastings.

@BarbaraofSeville

Re: having savings/paying off debt etc. It makes more sense to pay as much as you can off the debts rather than saving, because if you have the emergency, you simply use the credit card again, but have saved interest in the mean time.

Eg If you have £1000 debt and £200 savings, you pay interest on £1000. I will ignore interest earned on £200 of savings because it's virtually nothing, and certainly a tiny fraction of the interest charged on an interest charging credit card.

If you have £800 debt and no savings, you pay interest on £800.

If you then have an emergency that costs £200, you just pay for it using the credit card and end up in the same position, but will have paid less interest in the meantime.

Well done on reducing the cost of some of the expensive subscriptions (milkman, razors, veg box). As others have said, you could go back to these when you are on a more even keel, but for now, paying off your debts should be your main priority and taking the cheapest option where possible is one of the best ways to do this.

For milk, you could buy a single pint or two from the supermarket and keep the container to decant some into for your DS as it is far cheaper to buy the 4 pint cartons, but it sounds like these are too big for your DS to use himself? Or if you have a suitable lidded plastic cup, that would work.

Re your partner's expensive food tastes, I think it is reasonable for him to buy his own wine, olives, marmalade etc if he wants things outside your budget. After all, he has a lot more disposable income than you, despite you earning more.

Maybe you could also let him try some cheaper versions without telling him, to see if he likes them. Many people 'insist' that they only like the expensive version, but can't pick which is which in blind tastings.

Ok so for clarity, the halifax card with £1900 on it or whatever it is, I can't use it. It has a stop on it, yet still incurs interest. Whenever I knock £100 off, they write to me to tell me they are reducing the limit.

I have a Capital One card with £200 limit, so I can add that to my £500 intended savings (of which I have £200) and that makes £700 which is probably okay for now.

I have a scheduled payment to my savings account for July 10th, and then nothing else will go into there - the rest will go on the credit card. I won't be certain until I get paid on the 10th but I MIGHT be able to knock about £600 off it?

I have DS8's birthday which I'm currently looking around to see what I can get him that doesn't break the bank - thinking books but even they can be expensive. He had an awful birthday last year because of the divorce and moving so keep to make sure he has an enjoyable one, even if its cheaply (money doesn't buy happiness!). I've sent his father two things he would love, and then I'll probably give him a giftcard and some books. He loves to be able to buy PC games on his own so I'll give him enough to get one game, plus a book boxset and a poster and that should be enough. I've put aside £100 for that, hoping to not spend anywhere near that, I'll probably get his books second hand.

I've just managed to pay £135 off the credit card, did some sums and thats what I have left after bills. I've done morrisons orders for the next 3 weeks, we have one coming today. £47.83 got me, cottage cheese, dog biscuits, olive oil, one pack of chicken thighs, two bottles of wine (persuaded DP to forgo his £10 and we got 2 for £10 which should last two weeks), yoghurt for me, cauliflower, coconut milk, sweet potatoes, orange juice, frozen garlic, frozen ginger, baking potatoes, butter, chocolate mouse, rice, noodles, bread, grapes, babybell, kids yoghurts, DP yoghurt and potato wedges. I am pretty sure I could get it all for less in Lidl but once I get into the swing of budgeting I might move to shopping in Lidl. For now, I like that I can add lots of stuff to a basket and delete it all!

Chicken thighs will go with the leeks I have in the fridge, plus rice.
Cauliflower and sweet potato I will roast for DP lunch with some chicken breast I already have.
Frozen garlic and ginger because I always let it go to waste
Baking potatoes - we have lots of tuna so tuna mayo/coronation chicken
Butter, I have lots of flour so will make cake instead of buying soreen for DS lunch
Chocolate mouse for a treat
Noodles, I'll see if I can rustle up a stir fry from the freezer
Wedges and fish fingers

Ah crap I forgot the cheese. i really don't want to go to the shop :(

Halifax has £1782.41 on it
July £600 would leave £1182.41 plus interest
August £800 - leaves £382.41 plus interest
September clear it

That would be good...just got to manage the spending.

sounds like you are doing really well and staying focussed, well done! It's very satisfying to see debt drop isn't it x

Lots of things you could still reduce (I became disabled and had to retire in my 30s so become a way of life for me).
Water meter would probably be cheaper you can actually try them for a year in our area and go back to none meter if it's not cheaper, they also have a calculator on line.
I'd get rid of Spotify, veg box, subscriptions, milkman (I have a weekly Tesco delivery and get milk and freeze it), look at comparison sites for Internet. Do you need kindle I use amazon prime and read loads of books for free, plus get TV and free delivery works out cheaper. Can you reduce Netflix to the cheapest - one TV? Look at sim only mobile deals we have smarty they do 10% discount on all 3 kids plus unused data get a price reduction so we pay for four phones less than £30 a month.
You're doing well but every little saving will add up. I'd also say paying off debt should be a priority over savings once you've got an emergency pot in place.

Well done op sounds like you have a good focus. Hows it been making changes? Ive been writing lists of everything i want and need and trying to cut costs as well as i need to save save save.

@Buckingham1988

Lots of things you could still reduce (I became disabled and had to retire in my 30s so become a way of life for me). Water meter would probably be cheaper you can actually try them for a year in our area and go back to none meter if it's not cheaper, they also have a calculator on line. I'd get rid of Spotify, veg box, subscriptions, milkman (I have a weekly Tesco delivery and get milk and freeze it), look at comparison sites for Internet. Do you need kindle I use amazon prime and read loads of books for free, plus get TV and free delivery works out cheaper. Can you reduce Netflix to the cheapest - one TV? Look at sim only mobile deals we have smarty they do 10% discount on all 3 kids plus unused data get a price reduction so we pay for four phones less than £30 a month. You're doing well but every little saving will add up. I'd also say paying off debt should be a priority over savings once you've got an emergency pot in place.

Sorry to hear that you went through that

I’ll look at trialling a water meter if I can work out if it’s physically possible, I’m not entirely sure if the plumbing’s hidden etc.

I’ve already cancelled kindle etc, not Netflix because it’s essentially paid for by my ex...and my DP (Lol)
Veg box has gone, milkman not yet but will (paid upfront for two months)

Sim only is a plan but unfortunately not for a year