Reasonable budget?

[Yorkshiremummyof1]

For the first time in years I have my money before my bills, it’s because I’m paid 4weekly and I’ve caught up with it. I’ve been in debt for years, paying it off etc but this is my last chance to break a cycle in terms of panicking about money! This is just my June budget, there’s less money for the end 4 weeks than there will be in July because I’ve already paid my rent so I’m counting it from when I’m paid on Friday to the next 4 weeks. I’d just like some sanity checking especially when the spends, bills not so much. Income includes “rent” from my partner, salary, CB, maintenance. Next month would have an additional £900 but I’ll get to that in July! I have a significant amount of debt so getting this right is vital. For clarity, there’s two adults, a child, two dogs and two cats. WFH so no childcare at the moment, DS is at school 5 days a week so has packed lunches

Income June 2281

Bills June 508.33

Razor sub 8
Virgin media 24
Rent 0 (paid)
Cat insurance 7.53&7.53
Now tv 1.60
Spotify 9.99
Netflix 11.99 (half is paid for by ex, don’t include it in income figure)
NHS 10.40
Kindle 7.99
Mobile 90 (yep! Going down by 25 in august. iPad and two mobiles because I’m a twit)
Council tax 84
iTunes 3.50 (cloud subscription, i need to move all my documents that are in the storage before cancelling)
Dog insurance 25 (two dogs)
Bulb 100 (overpaying as have a balance)
Water 43.40 (rates, think we would pay more on a meter)
Car insurance 35.40
Car tax 11
Dog food 27 (subscription so count as a bill)

Savings 350

Car maintenance 50
Marcus account 250 (building emergency fund)
Help to save 50

Spending 589.96 (this is where it feels too much)

Groceries 200 (usually more but have a freezer full of meat)
Veg box 90
Meat box 0
Fuel 100 (drop of DS8 at his dads in another town, school drop off)
Kitty litter 15
Cat food 45 (one cat has allergies so has to have good food, spent 43 at a time but might last longer than a month, buy from zooplus)
Milkman 25
My spends 45
Clothing 50 (this month £30 Clark’s shoes for DS8, also anticipating a growth spurt and school uniform)
DS pocket money £20 (enough for him to save to buy a game whilst giving him enough that he doesn’t ask me to buy him something, he has a nimbl card to teach him how to budget so he doesn’t end up like his mother. I buy him nothing, anything he wants he has to save for.)

Debt 607.94 including 176.24 to pay off credit card in full which is emergency card. So this payment won’t be there next month as my partner keeps hold of the card and once emergency fund is built I won’t need it.

Leaves me with £225.47 this month

However I have to give DP £40 for blinds, buy a cat litter box disposal thing and some crate mats for the dogs. DP has a lot more disposable income than me, we aren’t married and have only lived together for a few months so we aren’t merging finances, also won’t have a joint account till I have no debt because he owns his house and I don’t want to affect his mortgage renewal. We rent his house out and I get that income as his contribution to my finances.

I have £45 as spends which covers anything I want for myself, tried going cold turkey and due to various compulsive spending issues it made it worse. Actually in therapy at the moment and my compulsive spending has roots apparently. Once I transfer spending to my starling account, DP changes my logins for my main account so I can’t go in and transfer money out. Mum has my savings account logins.

My issue has always been chipping away at my main bank account to the point where I’m stressed about paying rent. This is the first time I have the opportunity to start from scratch. Next month I could have £600 left over with which to pay off debt so I want to prove I can do it this month, hence why I have some spending money for myself. Groceries is a huge issue in our house, DP likes a £10 bottle of wine, I like snacks and we’re a fan of lots of olives and deli meat.....he’s the type of man who will only eat sourdough and posh marmalade. Last month I spent....£600 on groceries. Yep. Disgusting. So I’m going to do a weekly shop and try to do it online

I’ve had years and years of bad money habits so I want to try to make good ones

Right paused razors sub, will try supermarket ones and see how I go

(See I'm not unwilling...just cautious for no apparent reason!)

Just a small idea but have you thought about safety razers? I have one and love it. I was convinced by the environmental impact but have noticed the cash savings. Worth a go. Once you have the razor the replacement blades are about 20p.

Looks like I’ve been over paying! Replacement blades are more like 8p!
This is the razor.
www.amazon.co.uk/Natural-Sustainable-Environmentally-Friendly-Bambaw/dp/B077MLWYWF?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Contact your water board and have a discussion whether you would better off on a water meter. Some companies will put in a meter and give you a few months trial to see how it goes.

I think you need to take a more joint approach to your finances. If he ate the £600 food, he should contribute to it - doesn't matter whose "fault" it is.

I imagine if he has much more disposable income then he doesn't see it as that much of a big deal. Does he know you're agonising over you budget
Like this?

From my perspective I don't think any of your expenses are outrageous - what makes me pause is things like needing to give your partner money for blinds.

I agree you should split the food bill more fairly.

My internet is £8pm

I did a cull at the start of lockdown as knew we would both be 20% down on our wages.

Went thru d debits etc and tweaked the food budget.

Like you op I used to have a fruit/veg box etc and a couple of other subscriptions which I cancelled without even thinking about as needed to lower the outgoings.

I desperately need to build up a emergency fund and savings again as end of last year we needed a new washing machine,two new tyres on one car,a emergency repair on the other car,and then tumble dryer went so our emergency fund of £2000 that we've been building up disappeared 😳

Although we stripped back at beginning of lockdown we've been putting a tiny amount that's left into emergency fund but it's better than nothing and I agree although paying off debt is great if we hadn't of had that emergency fund we would have been buggered. It was a flipping relief.

In feb our cooker died so we had to buy a new one but fund had ran out so luckily a parent lent us and we've paid it bak now but hate needing financial assistance

@Onekidnoclue

Just a small idea but have you thought about safety razers? I have one and love it. I was convinced by the environmental impact but have noticed the cash savings. Worth a go. Once you have the razor the replacement blades are about 20p.

This sounds stupid because of their name, but are they safe? They look terrifying!

@Isleepinahedgefund

I think you need to take a more joint approach to your finances. If he ate the £600 food, he should contribute to it - doesn't matter whose "fault" it is.

I imagine if he has much more disposable income then he doesn't see it as that much of a big deal. Does he know you're agonising over you budget
Like this?

From my perspective I don't think any of your expenses are outrageous - what makes me pause is things like needing to give your partner money for blinds.

He has loads of disposable money, something like 800 a month lol.

I mean we’re joint where it is relevant I think. If I can get the food budget balanced over the next two months I’ll rethink it moving forward, I guess I’m always conscious and worried that he will end up spending more with me than when he lived alone and that scares me. What if he moves out because he’s spending more. But if an irrational fear I need to get over

@VanGoghsDog

I agree you should split the food bill more fairly.

My internet is £8pm

What, are you on....dial up LOL

Sorry if I have missed it, but is your credit card 0% interest?

Is this your share of these bills or the bills totals (I assume latter).

What does your partner contribute?

What stated out for me was groceries+meat+vegbox+milkman. I personally think that you should scrap the milkman - £25 on milk could be achieved by a lot less in the supermarket. Likewise the veg and meat boxes I'd pull back on and go via supermarket for a time. Really cut the quantities back.

Sorry if I’ve missed this part already. Why are you not splitting all costs and going half’s with your partner. It sounds like your living on a thin line to say there’s two of you.

What is the total amount of money your partner gives you each month?.

I think you're such a good way to clearing your debts with extras if you are aware of what you're spending, as you are. I would go all out to pare down what you can (recognising the entertainment stuff is important at the moment, esp with kids). So live fairly frugally until the debts are paid off, maybe look at the award winning budget supermarket wines eg - I never used to think you could get decent wine under £10 but I switched supermarket recently and can get a decent bottle for £6. I would reduce the savings, it's good to have an emergency float but as most debts have criminal interest rates the sooner you pay them off the better. Then afterwards don't get into any credit - save up for things instead of getting into the interest rate trap.

The safety razers do look terrifying but they are really good. I did nick myself a few times before I got the hang but am now a total convert.

@OhyeahNoway

Sorry if I have missed it, but is your credit card 0% interest?

So I have three cards. Halifax with 2k and I’m paying interest Tesco with 2.5 not paying interest Capital one that’s being paid off in full on the 25th June and will be stashed away for emergencies or Transactions where you want to use a credit card for the protection.

I can’t get a new balance transfer card so I’m focusing on clearing the Halifax. So in 4 weeks the day before my next pay, I’ll see what I have left over and put it on th the Halifax card. Hoping for £200

@SoloMummy no these are the total bills and he gives me £760 a month. I’m a single mum with a child so I prefer to keep it that way whilst we get used to living together. Also, I can’t expect him to pay towards the dogs or DS. So my share is bigger but at the same time I earn 10k more than him a year and DS and dogs are my personal expenses.

I’m not going to use the meat man or veg box again, going to just order what we NEED not what would be nice to have. I’m happy to go to supermarket for milk if I can find a way to decant it for DS as he really enjoys pouring his milk out in the morning.

@Sweetlikecoca we split the relevant bills, there may be a point in the future where he gives me more - as airbnb isn’t operating we’re unable to make income from his house so it has a tenant in it. If airbnb is back up and running next summer then there’s a chance his income would go up and he’d like to give me more to help clear debts so we can move

@TimeWastingButFun oh god wine...£10 a week on a bottle of Diablo. I need to find a nice £6 bottle! We’ve been trying a different one each week but I still haven’t found one I like THATS not Diablo. Luckily the last two bottles were a gift

@Onekidnoclue looked at the savings, £6 for 100 razors is...well I can’t argue with that. Once I’ve paid all the money out today I’m going to see if I’m left with enough to justify it.

Just bought cat food, came to £33 by downgrading a brand - they ate the Smilla this morning so I’ve ordered that. £33 still is a lot but I had to spend £35 to get free delivery and then got a small discount. I think I have at least 6 weeks for that, plus what we have left over so maybe I’ve got two months worth. Worked out we have enough dog food for the next four weeks so moved the £27 into a savings account along with the leftover from “cat” budget and it can sit there till the end of the month and I’ll add that to the Halifax card. Don’t want to send it across now just in case. I did put £300 in savings this morning, so that’s a small emergency fund. Decided definitely to get it to £500 and then I’ll put less in each month and more on the Halifax card.

Allocated £200 for groceries all in, Thats £50 a week. Went into Morrison’s last night and was at £43 with barely anything in it. So I need to work out where is cheaper and does delivery AND what we “need”. For instance I put fish fingers in the trolley, don’t need them...I have lots ARGH

Oh, kids shoes. DS has grown out of all of his trainers, needs a pair for at least the summer. Usually spend.....£40 on Clark’s as he has wide feet. However I’m thinking that’s a bit silly. He will need to wear them to school over the next few weeks so I might check out sports direct. He’s unfortunate in that he’s inherited my flipper feet but i think his grandma bought some from sports direct before and they were fine

Sorry, Morrison’s website not the actual shop, so haven’t spent anything yet

[quote Yorkshiremummyof1]@SoloMummy no these are the total bills and he gives me £760 a month. I’m a single mum with a child so I prefer to keep it that way whilst we get used to living together. Also, I can’t expect him to pay towards the dogs or DS. So my share is bigger but at the same time I earn 10k more than him a year and DS and dogs are my personal expenses.

I’m not going to use the meat man or veg box again, going to just order what we NEED not what would be nice to have. I’m happy to go to supermarket for milk if I can find a way to decant it for DS as he really enjoys pouring his milk out in the morning.

@Sweetlikecoca we split the relevant bills, there may be a point in the future where he gives me more - as airbnb isn’t operating we’re unable to make income from his house so it has a tenant in it. If airbnb is back up and running next summer then there’s a chance his income would go up and he’d like to give me more to help clear debts so we can move

@TimeWastingButFun oh god wine...£10 a week on a bottle of Diablo. I need to find a nice £6 bottle! We’ve been trying a different one each week but I still haven’t found one I like THATS not Diablo. Luckily the last two bottles were a gift

@Onekidnoclue looked at the savings, £6 for 100 razors is...well I can’t argue with that. Once I’ve paid all the money out today I’m going to see if I’m left with enough to justify it.

Just bought cat food, came to £33 by downgrading a brand - they ate the Smilla this morning so I’ve ordered that. £33 still is a lot but I had to spend £35 to get free delivery and then got a small discount. I think I have at least 6 weeks for that, plus what we have left over so maybe I’ve got two months worth. Worked out we have enough dog food for the next four weeks so moved the £27 into a savings account along with the leftover from “cat” budget and it can sit there till the end of the month and I’ll add that to the Halifax card. Don’t want to send it across now just in case. I did put £300 in savings this morning, so that’s a small emergency fund. Decided definitely to get it to £500 and then I’ll put less in each month and more on the Halifax card.

Allocated £200 for groceries all in, Thats £50 a week. Went into Morrison’s last night and was at £43 with barely anything in it. So I need to work out where is cheaper and does delivery AND what we “need”. For instance I put fish fingers in the trolley, don’t need them...I have lots ARGH[/quote]
Meal planning and keeping a track of what you actually have helps.

I've been buying extras the last couple of weeks, as am concerned that if have a second wave I won't be able to get basics again. But as a rule, I only buy what's actually needed, unless a specific item that I bulk buy as significantly cheaper.

@Yorkshiremummyof1

Oh, kids shoes. DS has grown out of all of his trainers, needs a pair for at least the summer. Usually spend.....£40 on Clark’s as he has wide feet. However I’m thinking that’s a bit silly. He will need to wear them to school over the next few weeks so I might check out sports direct. He’s unfortunate in that he’s inherited my flipper feet but i think his grandma bought some from sports direct before and they were fine

If you'd need a new pair in Sept then I'd opt for the cheaper now. If not then I'd go for clarks for longevity.

Op, try Iceland for deliveries. They do loads of fresh meats, veg, etc etc

@SoloMummy I tried meal planning for the month once and got totally lost so I'll start weekly. I actually have no reason to fail though, because DP eats the same thing every day or leftovers and DS eats...bolognese. A few other things as well but it shouldn't be too difficult.

His feet tend to grow over the summer so I think I'll look at a £20 pair that he can continue with over weekends, he's going to my mums in the summer hopefully and she will take him to a clarks outlet for school shoes and trainers

@ssd I'll have a look at iceland, didnt think of them ty

I did not realise that.....

Milkman 72pence per pint
ASDA 28pence per pint

I feel bad though because I'm supporting a local business. Ah crap, I know what I have to do :(

@Yorkshiremummyof1

Oh, kids shoes. DS has grown out of all of his trainers, needs a pair for at least the summer. Usually spend.....£40 on Clark’s as he has wide feet. However I’m thinking that’s a bit silly. He will need to wear them to school over the next few weeks so I might check out sports direct. He’s unfortunate in that he’s inherited my flipper feet but i think his grandma bought some from sports direct before and they were fine

Did you say that your dp works for the NHS? If so he can get 50% off in store on the 15th. Look on their website.