Family fallout over money

[moneymatters123]

If you came into money would you share with your brother and sister?

Sounds like you're the sister that didn't get left any money. Forget it, it's not worth it.

It's up to the person writing the will who he leaves his money to. I wouldn't wreck relationships over it. Personally I'd give half to my brother if he'd been left nothing assuming there is no big back story. However, he wouldn't be entitled to it and I'd be pissed off if I thought he would resent me for not sharing what is mine.

If their financial situation was equal it would not matter however sibling 1 can hardly afford food. Has to choose which bills they can pay that month.

Sibling 3 is wanting to save all the money incase she needs to buy her husband out of the home.

Sibling 2 is laid back and can see both sides.

The mum of all 3 has been left with nothing.

@danni0509 why wouldn't you split it evenly? Otherwise it's like saying they're only worth what you decide and clearly less than you!

No. The gp wanted this division, unless they were destitute I would respect his wishes. Is it that common to have have "a few loans"? (Mortgage aside)

So you're sibling 1? Now you've mentioned your mum personally I'd be hoping it was split 4 ways or all handed to my mum

If my DD1 inherited from her godfather, I wouldn’t expect her to share it with DD2.
If DD2 earns 85k and DD1 27k I wouldn’t expect DD2 to share her wages to equalise their income.

70k is a significant amount for one household, it can fund a deposit on a house or massively reduce an existing mortgage. Split it and becomes less so.
People are very good at thinking they would share when they see no likelihood of them being in the same position.
None of us knows what the future holds, this person could be made redundant next year or get a chronic illness, if she’s given the money away she can’t turn back the clock and get it back.

YABU

It would depend on the GF reasons for not leaving any to the siblings but yes, it's a significant amount so if it were me I would share some of it but not equally.

@saraclara she did see him more often than everyone else although he was a loner and did not like company. She took him food once a week phoned him during the week. No one went into his home he did not allow it.

When young they were all as close as each other.

If my siblings were not left the same value as me from our parent / grandparent, I would split my share with them. I would not be Albee to look them in the eye again if I didn't. The grandfather is dead, he won't have a bloody clue!

@crustycrab they all have £20,000 plus the one sibling has the extra

I think the gp leaving out his daughter (if that's who it is, different if dil) is a bigger problem.

Yeah, I got that. And then you said your mum was left with nothing

Sibling 1 will be able to afford lots of food with 20 grand ffs!

Thinking about my family dynamics I wouldn't. In fact, faced similar within the family. The grandparent who didn't leave anything or very little to some had extremely good reasons not to do so. To then give them something I might as well have just shit on their grave.

There's also a strong possibility that the person had been giving them money over the years, thus reducing their share accordingly. Something again which was an issue, and it only came out by accident just as some things were about to be shared.

But like I said, my family.

It was clearly a deliberate decision made by the grand father so I think the other siblings should butt out

We are talking £2,000-£3,000 extra maximum £5,000.

To the PP i'm not sure if credit cards and loans are common but unfortunately they are in our family. They all work but still can't make ends meet. This is not the point of the post though.

So they've all had £20,000, so there's not an issue of people starving now?

Ask yourself honestly what the others would do in the same position.

Thanks everyone. I'm being a nob. I now realise.

So the skint sibling has 20k. That should help in a huge way.

Someone mentioned you cannot get pip and work. You can do both.

And if the others wanted more then they should have been more involved. She was in regular contact with him unlike it seems the other two. They could have picked up the phone weekly and shared the shopping load etc.

Again it was his choice to leave their mum something or not, and for all anyone knows he helped his daughter out a lot and felt he'd done enough. Instead wanted to give the next generation some help.

Happened in my family. 7 siblings. 2 were cut out the Will of the parents. 5 siblings got over £100,000 each. Other 2 got nothing. The 5 didn't share anything.

It kind of is relevant as taking out loans just to live does make me think, rightly or wrongly, that any extra money would just go into a bottomless pit. (Very normal to have credit cards though!)
Are any of the siblings going to share with their mum?

Since GF chose to leave it to one person, its theirs to keep, and no, I personally wouldn't share with siblings. If GF had wanted it shared equally, he'd have willed it equally.

If it was a technical error (outdated will with further siblings born/cash used up on care fees with property left to just one etc) and I knew that in my heart that GF wanted it shared equally, that would be different and I would equal things up.

In your situation, it seems like the sibling who had the best relationship with GF and who contacted him and helped him out the most has benefited. That seems fair and right to me, and a deliberate choice on GFs part.

It's up to the person who left the money (i.e. the grandfather). He wanted one person to have more that everyone else, and that's his choice.

I think the person who has been left the extra can keep it if they wish. Its not as if the others were left nothing.

This happened to me but with cousins. I was very close to my DGM and visited weekly. Took her shopping and to hospital appointments. I also lived with her from the age of 4 to 13. Some other cousins rang regularly (others turned up when they heard she was giving out money).

When she died her estate was split 4 ways between her three DC and me. It wouldn't have occurred to me to share.

However I have 4 half siblings (different DGM). If I came into money in a different way I'd definitely split it with them.

I would share everything equally. No question about it. I would put the paintings etc into a pot with the money and share it.