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Original poster

My husband thinks I am been unreasonable about not giving my savings

66 replies

Mum23and1 · 07/01/2020 14:57

Ok so we have been together 13 years have 3 kids together mostly happy. We are both self employed I had my own hair shop when we met and I gave that up so he could have his own building firm business that he went into partnership with someone. We moved house made equity on that (I got the Morgage with my earnings ) rented and saved hard for 9 month got our dream house that we are going to renavate so I have been saving hard i now work from home and look after the kids .i was hoping to start this work soon and now he wants me to give all my savings to him for his work and he has told me I will get it back his business will buy the bathroom materials etc when we get to this point and stand the vat . I feel really unhappy about this it doesn’t sit well at all with me he has been telling me we are going to be starting work but is constantly moving the goal posts hear . My worry is when it comes the time this year when I want to get my bathroom he will tell me the business carnt give it to me what do I do ???he also told me he had offered to lend his friend some of our money which again no way but doesn’t seem to understand me not agreeing.we have no loans credit cards or anything:

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 07/01/2020 14:58

No way on this earth would he have that money.

HollowTalk · 07/01/2020 14:59

Can he not see the potential problems involved in lending his friend some money?

ItWentInMyEye · 07/01/2020 14:59

No. It's your money, do what you want to with it! Sounds like you've sacrificed already for his business

timeforawine · 07/01/2020 14:59

Not a chance would i hand over the money

dreamingofmushrooms · 07/01/2020 15:00

If he wants your money in the business, then your name needs to be on the business and you need to have a say in the running of it as well.

Otherwise forget it, you'll never see the money again.

Original poster
Mum23and1 · 07/01/2020 15:00

This money is for our home and my safety net. But he keeps telling me we wouldn’t be hear without his business !!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 07/01/2020 15:01

Stand your ground. It's not sitting right with you for a reason. He has no right to promise your savings to his friend either.

Tell him to get a loan.

Original poster
Mum23and1 · 07/01/2020 15:02

That’s the thing I don’t have any idea he just expects me to except what he says.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mum23and1 · 07/01/2020 15:03

Thank u ladies it has been eating me up today I have never done a post like this before I’m glad it’s not just me xxxx

OP posts:
Whatsnewpussyhat · 07/01/2020 15:04

His friend can get a fucking bank loan.
I'm with you. He is taking the piss.

SpoonBlender · 07/01/2020 15:11

Hell no. Not a chance. If he insists, tell him that it's a relationship breaker.

JanusLooksBothWays · 07/01/2020 15:14

Another Hell no here.

HollowTalk · 07/01/2020 15:16

You're not going to find anyone on MN who says that you should give him your money. You're not going to find anyone who says that you should give him your money to hand over to his mate, either.

Money is so important, OP. It's your security. Don't let go of it.

TopOftheNaughtyList · 07/01/2020 15:17

Absolutely no way would I be doing this, but even if there was a chance, I'd insist on having my name put on the business and having some say in how it is run. Too risky to hand it all over.

If your DH is planning to lend money to a friend, then I hope he gets a proper legal agreement drawn up outlining the amount and dates of expected repayments. Seen too many cases on Judge Rinder where people don't pay back and if there's no agreement then you're stuffed.

BTW, name change fail OP!

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/01/2020 15:18

His friend can get a fucking bank loan.

His friend may get a bank loan but I don't think he can Grin

FlowerArranger · 07/01/2020 15:22

No no no...

NO !!!!

Just don't do it.

Longdistance · 07/01/2020 15:24

No chance.

Keep your savings. Who’s this ‘friend’ that needs the money? Yes, he can get a loan from the bank or tough shit. Not your problem.

Don’t let it eat away at you. Tell your dh ‘do I look like a fucking bank?’

yellowallpaper · 07/01/2020 15:26

Tell him that's what banks are for. I understand he feels you have no confidence in him, but he's only human and businesses fail all the time, or are unable to release funds.

caringcarer · 07/01/2020 15:26

You sold your hair business to give him money to start his business and your name not on partnership. Now he wants the rest of your money. Do you have dopey written on your head OP? He is chancing his luck. Tell him no it is your money and you want share of 'his' business as started with your money, or at very least your start up money repaid. He has nor respect for you he wants you to give his friend money too. He sees you as a bank not a partner.

TheQueef · 07/01/2020 15:28

Nope.
No way.

bakewreck99 · 07/01/2020 15:31

Agree with everyone else - I’m sure your investment in his business paid off, that’s why people invest in businesses, you don’t owe him anymore than any other other investor would...this latest money grab when he feels he can lend to a friend is a clear no.

Tbh you should own a share or have been paid profits from the earlier investment you made.

themental · 07/01/2020 15:34

I wholeheartedly agree with everyone else, don't give him your money.

However I really, really wish people would see that the same thing applies regardless of sex / gender.

I am 100% for financial independence, whether that is for a man or a woman.

Time40 · 07/01/2020 15:34

No, because that money is already earmarked for other things - and no, because wanting it so he can lend it to a friend doesn't sound at all sensible. Stand firm, OP!

Time40 · 07/01/2020 15:35

btw OP, I think you've had a name-change fail?

Obligatorync · 07/01/2020 15:35

My gosh no. You've already sacrificed one business.