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Original poster

To use DCs Xmas money for a family holiday?

365 replies

Ooooophhh · 07/01/2020 09:53

Last year we stayed in a fantastic holiday cottage in our favourite place to hide away which had to be unfortunately cut short.
We have booked our 2 week summer holiday this year so it is not that we aren't going on holiday this year.
However, I have been snooping online and discovered a brilliant deal on the cottage for 1 week over half term. It will cost us in the region of £300 for 1 week in the 5* accommodation-money we don't have at the moment . But, DCs who are toddlers, received money for Christmas totalling this amount. They don't need anything so we were planning on paying the cash into their bank accounts, but I'm now wondering whether to use the money for a family get away instead.
Am I being selfish and indulgent to use their money for this? I just want a change of scenery and nothing to do for a week!

OP posts:
AltheaVestr1t · 07/01/2020 15:22

From a legal point of view, I’m pretty sure that parents are allowed to spend money owned by the child in any way that benefits the child’s wellbeing. So absolutely not theft, ffs. Hmm

NailsNeedDoing · 07/01/2020 15:23

Spending your children’s Christmas money on a holiday that, whichever way you look at it, will benefit you more than them, seems like an awful thing to do.

But taking a break from your regular saving for your dc to pay for a family holiday is fine.

You could book the holiday and pay for it out of money that you would otherwise have saved up for them, and put their Christmas money into their own accounts. Everyone’s a winner, problem solved.

Bluntness100 · 07/01/2020 15:36

I guess the question for those who think it's fine is will you feel the same when your child grows up and takes from you and spends it on a something they really wish, a night out at a fancy trendy hotel say, that's not really your scene, but you think they are paying for it, so go along, but unbeknownst to you they took your money to pay for it,,and just did the physical act of paying? Like the op? They used your money to pay for it, without your knowledge or because you were unable to consent?

Because hey it benefits you, the Night in the trendy hotel.

I'm assuming it's a big yes, Because if you can take their money, then the message is, they can take yours. As long as they spend it on something they could argue benefits you, they can take what they please from your purse or bank accounts right?

After all, you do it to them.

caringcarer · 07/01/2020 15:41

That would be stealing their money because you want a holiday week. Don't be mean OP the money belongs to your children and those who gave them the money will expect it to be saved for their future. When they are older and need money for driving lessons etc you will have taken it from them for your own use.

pallisers · 07/01/2020 15:56

Get a second job (yeah that will be BRILLIANT for the toddlers) and apparently you are like McCauley Culkin's parents

Some bizarre responses. I probably wouldn't myself unless I was going to put it back but can't say I'd get worked up about it to this extent if someone did it.

And the world is divided into 3 camps.

  1. Those that eye up their childrens' money and want to steal it - doubt there are many of those
  2. Those that would save it and wouldn't dream of using it
  3. Those who think a family holiday, not matter what the age of the children, is a good use of their money for their benefit.
Bluntness100 · 07/01/2020 16:03

And one and three are the same aren't they, it's not like she's taking them to legoland or Disney world and she's taking them Becayse they will love it and remember it.

She's taking them to a five star cottage in the Cotswolds because she fancies getting away from things.

AltheaVestr1t · 07/01/2020 16:10

@NailsNeedDoing you are suggesting a completely unnecessary administrative rigmarole that has literally no effect on anything. Scenario 1: OP cancels two standing orders for savings into her children’s accounts, then visits the bank to deposit cash or cheques into children’s accounts, then next month restarts the standing orders into children’s accounts. OP has £300, children have £300. Scenario 2: OP does absolutely nothing. OP has £300, children have £300. This is a really good illustration of why the whole concept is ridiculous. The OP could be spending the money on anything, because we can safely assume that in the past and each and every passing day, she is spending a much greater amount on raising her children and looking out for their wellbeing. Family = family money. Joint pot spent to as decided by the responsible adult to best serve everybody’s needs.

AvaSnowdrop · 07/01/2020 16:17

Perhaps the kids money could pay for their half of the holiday and you could pay for your own half yourself? Oh wait - you want the kids to pay your share as well? Selfish and greedy, who on earth expects their two toddlers to treat them to a holiday!

doritosdip · 07/01/2020 16:22

They are too young to benefit from a week in 5* accomodation in the Cotswolds. They will benefit from quality time with you but they don't care where that is. If they were say school aged and you were going to take them to an amusement park and pay for the Legoland Hotel or equivalent then I'd say go for it.

Spending it on experiences that they'd enjoy rather than "stuff " is a good idea but as it's their money, it needs to be something that they'd enjoy.

noenergy · 07/01/2020 16:29

I think spending it on days out for the kids rather than plastic tat is better, we have said to our kids who all between 6 and 10 that if they save their Xmas money then we can book Disneyland Paris. And they want to do this and I have asked them to think about it carefully.

They don't need any toys or consoles or iPads.

Not sure I would use it for a week at a cottage though, that's just a home away from home.

Pinkyyy · 07/01/2020 16:30

I'm completely with you on this @Bluntness100.

I'm absolutely disgusted that so many people would take money from their children to spend on their own self indulgence. You can dress it up how you want OP, but it's appalling. If you want to take them somewhere with it instead of buying toys, that's fine. But I highly doubt a 4 year old (2yo irrelevant and shouldn't be spent) then at least take them somewhere child oriented.

pallisers · 07/01/2020 16:31

And one and three are the same aren't they

no they aren't. It is entirely possible for toddlers to have a lovely time in the cotswalds. we have never brought our children to a theme park and they managed to have lovely memories of their holidays. When did bloody disney become the only holiday for children? It is like saying if she bought them dinner it would have to be one of those crappy child meals of turkey twizzlers.

Pinkyyy · 07/01/2020 16:34

Last part of my post doesn't make sense. I meant that I highly doubt a 4yo would choose a 5* cottage over somewhere that's aimed at children.

pallisers · 07/01/2020 16:36

Last part of my post doesn't make sense. I meant that I highly doubt a 4yo would choose a 5 cottage over somewhere that's aimed at children.*

Yes a lot of 4 year olds would probably pick disney and mcdonalds for every occasion. This is why we didn't let the 4 year old pick where we went on holidays. We also didn't let them menu plan or decide on all our weekend activities.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 07/01/2020 16:36

I couldn’t, it’s akin to stealing. And for a frivolous reason. If you honestly have the full blessing of the money givers then ok. Without that, no way.

Equanimitas · 07/01/2020 16:36

Yes of course you should use it. They will have a great time.

In a cottage in the middle of winter? At this age, they'd be just as happy at home.

Pinkyyy · 07/01/2020 16:39

@pallisers if they're paying then they should be choosing.

Spied · 07/01/2020 16:40

I would.
But I would make sure I was able to re-pay the money in the next few months first.

Pinkyyy · 07/01/2020 16:42

Also, you claim to be short of money buy you've already booked a 2 week holiday in the summer and you want another one? Poor excuse.

Dontdisturbmenow · 07/01/2020 16:42

Sadly I don't think it's that uncommon attitude. I've known parents having no qualms using their kids DLA towards things that benefits them more than the child in receipt, same with maintenance money. It's easy to justify how the kids will benefit because they join the parents when ultimately, it's about what the parents want for themselves.

pallisers · 07/01/2020 16:53

@pallisers if they're paying then they should be choosing.

don't be silly. They are toddlers.

Look, I wouldn't use the money myself but I couldn't get that worked up about it if she is using it for a family holiday and not a pair of shoes for herself.

And I certainly think the attitude that so many posters have that the only holiday a child could enjoy is disney or legoland is sad.

Pinkyyy · 07/01/2020 16:59

@pallisers a 4yo knows the difference between being sat in a cottage and being somewhere that's aimed at children. Nobody said that it has to be Disneyland/Legoland, but what the OP is proposing is about the farthest thing from it.

flirtygirl · 07/01/2020 17:20

Dontdisturbmenow
If they receive dla then in most cases, they are not only the child's parents but also their child's carer. The best thing for a child is to have healthy parents so I think some dla can be spent on the parents as their wellbeing does affect the child.

Most people use dla first to spend on the extra costs of disability if the person affected and next to spend on the family and bills as in most circumstances their family income is reduced because of that disability.

Most people are not like David Cameron who recieve dla as an unneeded extra.

Allyg1185 · 07/01/2020 17:24

I wouldn't do it. Only time I would consider using my ds money would be if I was in a dire situation and needed to put food on the table or electricity etc

NameChangeNugget · 07/01/2020 17:27

Seems quite a low thing to do