To use DCs Xmas money for a family holiday?

[Ooooophhh]

Last year we stayed in a fantastic holiday cottage in our favourite place to hide away which had to be unfortunately cut short.
We have booked our 2 week summer holiday this year so it is not that we aren't going on holiday this year.
However, I have been snooping online and discovered a brilliant deal on the cottage for 1 week over half term. It will cost us in the region of £300 for 1 week in the 5* accommodation-money we don't have at the moment . But, DCs who are toddlers, received money for Christmas totalling this amount. They don't need anything so we were planning on paying the cash into their bank accounts, but I'm now wondering whether to use the money for a family get away instead.
Am I being selfish and indulgent to use their money for this? I just want a change of scenery and nothing to do for a week!

I see what your saying but it doesn't sit right me and I wouldn't do it personally! I kinda think at the age your DCs are at, that its solely your responsibility to pay up!

Earlier on in the thread I said I'd do it as I think it would benefit the kids, but with further thinking I wouldnt
I'd see it as the kids treating us to a holiday and that's the wrong way round

I think if you do it and are fine with it then go for it, but personally I couldn't do it. If I can't afford to treat my kids we don't do it, I wouldn't have them treating me.

No, if you can't afford the cottage, you don't go.

I would put it in the bank for the DC if nothing is needed / wanted.

I think it's perfectly possible for children of 2 and 4 to enjoy the kind of holiday the OP is talking about. We used to take ours to a (very basic - not five star!) cottage in Cornwall when they were that age. We tended to take them in January/February in order to avoid the school holiday price hikes. We always had an absolutely brilliant time - it was an escape from all the day to day grind at home. You can still find cafes, walk on the beach, have fish and chips, play in the creeks etc in crap weather.

We did stay in a 5-star place in the Cotswolds when they were exactly the ages of yours, OP (as a present from my parents). They still remember it now - especially what they call the 'waterfall' (i.e. weir!) by the cottages.

I would most definitely spend the £300 on this, OP. It sounds like a brilliant deal, and one from which you would all benefit.

My toddler DS always gets money from family at Christmas and birthday. I wouldn't dream of spending it on a holiday. I would buy him clothes or something that I could demonstrate to the giver was bought with their money, or that it went into savings

My grandparents always give us money for Xmas, for us and the DC, and we have always out it towards a holiday. We would struggle to afford a holiday otherwise though and we are pleased that we are able to use their Xmas money giving them an experience that they wouldn't otherwise have.

I think it would be OK if you borrow it and religiously pay it back to them, ie save it up (£25 a month or £5.76923076923 a week if you prefer, you'd have it in a year), and then bank it for them. Don't take it and keep it though, you'd feel awful and one day they would find out.

It does sound like a good deal and you would all enjoy the holiday. I clearly remember being very hard up and scratching around for pennies, I sympathise.

I see no problem with using the money to pay for a fun family break that everyone will enjoy.

Certainly better than buying them clothes, or toys they don't need.

If they are toddlers a holiday won't really mean much to them they will be just as happy doing things with you at home. I don't think you should use the money unless you plan to replace it later. The money should be for them to use when they are older

@pallisers a 4yo knows the difference between being sat in a cottage and being somewhere that's aimed at children. Nobody said that it has to be Disneyland/Legoland, but what the OP is proposing is about the farthest thing from it.

Actually nearly everyone who said it wasn't a suitable holiday for toddlers suggested disneyland/legoland or similar. I do find it strange and honestly a bit sad that people think a toddler staying in a cottage, out for walks with parents, playing games, having their parents not working but spending time with them, eating out, looking at parks/attractions nearby is having a bad time and wouldn't want to be there. We never did theme park holidays - ever. Does that mean we were bad parents? Our children had fun with us where ever we went - are they really that unusual?

If you know your children will have a lovely week, then do it!

And I would much rather take my kids to the beach, woods, etc than Butlins Tots Week or Legoland - some kids actually prefer these things! A day at Legoland, fine, but mine were always way happier free in woods and on beaches.

All money given to my kids went into bank accounts/savings bonds. I would never consider just leaving it sitting in a 'bank' in the house for a year earning nothing!
A 5* holiday is not a necessity for toddlers stop trying to convince everyone you are doing it for your kids. You want the holiday not them. You already have a holiday booked if you can't afford 2 holidays a year without stealing of your kids then don't book two holidays!

If at any point you had said you were borrowing it and paying it back over the next couple of months then fine but you haven't you just want what you want and poor kids will be none the wiser that mum stole from them for her dream holiday!

If you were on the breadline unable to pay for food or rent then it would be understandable to borrow/use the money but a holiday when you already have one booked just no.

Even if the holiday does ‘enrich the children’ you should still be paying for it, not them. You’re a the adult ffs. Will you then use their money to pay for any hobbies they then have because it’s ‘enriching’?

FWIW my mum used my savings with this bullshit justification and I think she’s a cunt. So you know, up to you 🤷‍♀️

No, I really don't think you should use Christmas present to pay for everyone to go away for a second time.

It'll be no different for them then being at home. Save their money.

I wouldn't feel bad at all. You are buying them an experience. It's for them. The world has enough plastic waste and they won't thank you for clothes.

I don't think this is about Disney vs wholesome woods and beaches. The point people are making is that if the OP had wanted to book a holiday that could only possibly (generally anyway) be fun for children, she might then have a degree of justification for her 'it's for the children's benefit', whereas in this instance the cottage is nice enough for the children but the intended benefit is to the adults. It's a little disingenuous to accuse people trying to make this point of thinking children must = theme park. (I detest theme parks and there are a lot of rather painful things I would rather do than go to Disney, FWIW).

I get given money at Christmas to buy my kids presents from grandparents... this year I put it towards a holiday over new year so still an almost instant gift! They had a fab time and loved it. I wouldn't of been able to do it without the gift money.

My kids are older 12+ and do not want for anything... experiences over material stuff everyday!

It would be OK to borrow it. But only if you pay it back as a priority. It's their money. Better off in their savings. I understand your need for a break, but not if it means cleaning out their first savings. That would be a really bad habit to get into. Not your money. Paws off.

We started early ,saving all their money at bday Xmas christening.they have thousands now .
It’s not your money op
And it’s a slippery slope

I think if we didnt already pay towards their future and if they didn't have new coats and shoes and rooms full of toys and equipment then I would consider otherwise. But it just seems crazy to jave money sitting around in moneyboxes waiting to be banked for the future when we could be using it towards quality, special family time in our favourite destination.
They are your children. You are supposed to pay towards their future. You chose to have a family so pay for family time out of your own pocket, not by using cash given to them.

I see other points of view though
You clearly don’t. You are constantly trying to justify why it’s okay for you to use their money for your holiday.

It's very difficult to weigh up.
It really isn’t.

Next year when the washing machine breaks will you use their money because, you know, they will benefit by being able to have clean clothes?

Why not ask the money-givers if they would mind their gift being used in this way?

I'd have no issue with this if asked, if it was going to be something the children would benefit from.

I have more issue with sending Christmas money which children are told, by the parents, they have to bank and aren't allowed to spend on something they want to. Not talking about toddlers there as its hard for them to say what they want, but definitely for older children.

And I certainly think the attitude that so many posters have that the only holiday a child could enjoy is disney or legoland is sad.

The point is that the adults wouldn't normally pick those destinations for their enjoyment. They choose the destination because their child likes Disney or Lego,

Completely out of order. You already have another summer holiday booked. YABU.

I wouldn't do it.

It'd be different if they had asked for a week in a holiday cottage, but they won't, because it's not their idea of fun.
The two year old especially will not remember that holiday.

If you are putting £100pm per child away just don't do that next month and the month after and you've paid for your cottage plus petrol money.

In a cottage in the middle of winter? At this age, they'd be just as happy at home.

DD would have been way happier in a cottage somewhere different, especially at 4y.

Mum and dad's attention all day whilst they're not distracted by work, household chores, etc.
A bigger garden to run around and play in all day.
Trips to new playgrounds and parks, etc.

Most people wouldn't have an issue with Christmas money being used to buy a child some new clothes. Yet a child will get more immediate fun nd enjoyment from a holiday than a new t shirt and jeans.