To use DCs Xmas money for a family holiday?

[Ooooophhh]

Last year we stayed in a fantastic holiday cottage in our favourite place to hide away which had to be unfortunately cut short.
We have booked our 2 week summer holiday this year so it is not that we aren't going on holiday this year.
However, I have been snooping online and discovered a brilliant deal on the cottage for 1 week over half term. It will cost us in the region of £300 for 1 week in the 5* accommodation-money we don't have at the moment . But, DCs who are toddlers, received money for Christmas totalling this amount. They don't need anything so we were planning on paying the cash into their bank accounts, but I'm now wondering whether to use the money for a family get away instead.
Am I being selfish and indulgent to use their money for this? I just want a change of scenery and nothing to do for a week!

Why are people so keen on keeping children away from places designed for them to enjoy? What's wrong with them?

It doesn't @BlouseAndSkirt , I'm just reminded of my abusive exh when I read this thread. He used to open the kids' birthday cards before handing them over , he'd take some of the money out and put it in his wallet for things he wanted. I don't see how the op's behaviour is any better.

When I give money to children I expect it to be used for buying something not saved for uni or driving lessons I would be happy with cinema tickets a visit to trampoline park or saving towards something to buy in a month or two like I'm getting a new bicycle at Easter when XY shop has a sale or a big Lego kit dolls house or whatever
to be honest I rarely give kids money for this reason unless I know parents well enough to know they will let the child spends it, my nephew is 16 soon and is saving money to get a moped to get to college so that's fine but it wouldn't have been fine when he was 9 and had no idea what he wanted to do

I think when giving money to kids for presents you should make it plain what it is for I give so the child can enjoy either a toy or an experience this year not in 15 years in fact I'd be quite likely to ask the child next time I saw them what did you do with your money?

If you are saving money every month you obviously aren't skint. Don't nick your kids Christmas money - that is a shitty thing to do. It would be fine if you were broke and desperate, but you're just a cheeky fucker.

The money wasn't intended for savings accounts as my inlaws (who have it) have savings accounts for both children which they pay into monthly- we also do the same-£100 per month is set aside each month by us for when they're older

Umm, so you are completely skint but you save £200 a month for your kids. How about skipping putting money aside for them for a few months and use that money for the cottage.

I know it sort of amounts to the same thing but it would feel wrong to pay for the cottage from saving that were directly given to the kids by relatives.

Besides the cost of childcare, the OP's DC are at the age where they are content with free parks and playgrounds so activities were generally cheap/free - well, mine were!

They only get more expensive. Mine are teens and I am SO glad that we've deposited their £20 - £50 cash birthday/xmas gifts into their CTFs turned JISAs and not spent them at the time. DC1 is 16 and his JISA pot has grown past my expectations. It will definitely relieve us from the stress/burden of topping up his student maintenance from income when he leaves home for uni at a time when we're hoping to have the choice to work less. All those £20 gifts with compounded interest/growth within a stock and shares JISA have really delivered!

Similarly, read the size of pension pot thread - definitely an argument against the live for now mentality.

I came on this thread earlier on and didn't realise (probably the misunderstanding was my fault), the op was in a reasonably good financial position; I thought she was hard up, felt this holiday would be good for all but couldn't afford the £300.

Now it seems to me she can't afford to pay out that amount at the moment, which is a different matter, a cash flow problem.

I certainly don't believe she should take the money from her children to fund this holiday but borrowing it with a firm intention of paying it back, wouldn't hurt. The children wouldn't have a say in it but doubt they would mind if they found out later on as long as the money was in their bank accounts fairly quickly.

I agree with those who say if they give cash as a gift, it should be the childs and either spent on, or saved for, them if they are too small to organise it themselves; however borrowing short term is different. We have no reason to believe the op would not be scrupulous about it, in her position I certainly would though the situation never arose for me (was just hard up :-).

This is just an idea, the op may have already thought of it. Taking the cash and not paying it back would be very wrong in my opinion.

to be putting £100 into accounts with their name on each month when you don't have £300 spare is silly
if the account is in their name they get access on 18th birthday, they might spend it on uni, house deposit driving lessons but then they might blow it on a party which is no different to spending it on football cards shopkins etc now
it is better to save your money in your own name then if you need it for essentials you can spend it, or you can have a family holiday with it without any guilt, you could even save at a different bank with a mental tag that account X is for John and account Y is for Mary then if when they are 18 you don't feel they are responsible they have no right to the money or you can use it to diectly pay accommodation at uni or directly buy small car or car insurance
however money given directly to child should be saved in their name surely you really know what grandparents etc gave money for I think most parents know deep down what the giver intended whether it is a visit to toy shop to choose own toy or whether it was days out / icecream money or whether they intended it to be saved for something big like a bike or a tablet / x box or saved for when they grow up
from OP's remarks the grandparents already pay monthly to a long term savings account for OP's children so I really don't think the intention for this money was long term savings but to buy stuff for them soon it maybe to save for the summer and get paddling pool go to water park etc

I suggest OP if you want a holiday you just don't pay £100 to each childs account for Jan and Feb that gives you £400 which covers cottage and food and use some of the kids money legitmately for soft play animal farm zoo entrance fees it amounts to the same thing but looks better on paper that way

if you had worded OP " I normally pay £100 into a savings account for both my children each month but the family needs a holiday I'm sure AIBU to stop paying into account for a few months to enable a holiday and to have a bit more savings" it would have all been fine

Don't spend it, it's not your money

Teacup totally agree. That’s what I was attempting to say in not such an eloquent way!!!

@OvalCanvas I'd bet a fair amount that your abusive ex didnt spend the stolen money on a family cottage holiday. Ridiculous to compare the situations.

I would happily use it to take them away on holiday

To me experiences and family time together are way more important than materialistic items bought.

I'd have no issues using it for that.

Oh posted to soon

Wanted to add I'd be absolutely fine with gifted money I gave away being used for stuff like that, in fact I'd rather it used to do something as a family than on plastic tat toys.

It doesn’t sit right with me. As others have said, you could have picked a few child centric days out for half term. The holiday cottage is primarily about you wanting a break away really. But, I’m slightly torn as
If wouldn’t have objected to family passes for the zoo or a membership etc so I’m not sure why I view the cottage differently.

As an aside though, I don’t think you were being totally open by saying ‘toddlers’ rather than specifying age. The 2 year old probably wouldn’t have a clue but the 4 year old if asked would probably not choose to pay for accommodation and would benefit from learning about money. My 3 year old has had some freedom with Christmas money for the first time and she is loving having the chance to pick things for herself. Some has gone in the bank for later in the year but she has been so excited to pay for things and have some autonomy. It seems a shame to take that learning experience away from the 4 year old.

If i gave my dc the choice of spending their Christmas money on a family holiday or toys they'd pick the holiday. They have already picked them in the last over birthday parties, birthday presents and Christmas presents even though the holiday benefits everyone not just them. Different people have different priorities and my dc inherited my love of travel and exploring from a very young age. My financial situation means we need to make sacrifices to do it and thankfully they value memories over merchandise as much as I do so it all works out well. At 2 and 4 they'd have adored the Cotswolds and it would have been more fun than home

@happycamper11 and that's fine if they're old enough to choose, and you give them a the information up front.

Can imagine they'd pick a cottage if they were choosing the holiday though.

2 years old is not old enough to make that decision.

The 4 year old might though. My 5 year old picked a holiday cottage on the banks of Loch Tay over the pony party she'd been longing for all year. We were invited but the only way I couldn't afford it was to not do the party, she chose. If you asked my 10 year old if she was happy to have spent her birthday money on a holiday when she was 2 she'd say absolutely. (I didn't, I was in a much better financial position then)

Personally I think it is absolutely fine - the children will benefit from the holiday - if I give a money gift to a small child I am surely entirely appropriate for their parent (the adult) to decide how best to spend - this. Plus be clothes, toys, games, books, subscription, an outing, savings or a holiday. If there was a specific gift I wanted to buy I would give it to them otherwise you can’t dictate how it is spent by their parent. Come on people need to be sensible - they might not prioritise a holiday but if that’s your choice fine - lots of nice experiences for your children. Again If I gave a gift of money to a child I would hope their parent would influence them to spend it on something useful (ie not FIFA points which is what my sons would spend it on if given free rein) My mum gives me money for children’s birthdays and Xmas and specifically tells me spend it on whatever we as a family need as kids have so many toys and clothes etc (bought by us for them). They are told pressies from us are also from Nanny. People who say you must save it aren’t thinking it through. Do you spend it on clothes you pick and the toddler doesn’t like? Is that stealing it? Hardly. The holiday is for the kids too.

If I give money I couldn't care less how it's spent as long as it goes on the kids and if I receive money I am happy to spend it on experiences that directly benefit our dc. Everyone saying that toddlers don't care about holidays obviously do holidays wrong as our dc had a blast on our caravan holiday at the seaside last summer.

I absolutely have never forgiven my mother for when she stole christmas and birthday money from me and is one of the reasons i went NC so yabu

I absolutely have never forgiven my mother for when she stole christmas and birthday money from me and is one of the reasons i went NC so yabu

I'm going to hazard a guess that there's a little more to that than your dm using the money to book a lovely family break for quality time

i would do it to be honest benefits the whole family

If I gave a child money for Christmas, I’d be delighted if it was spent in this way. I certainly wouldn’t intend it to be saved up for decades hence, and no parent needs to bring more plastic tat into their house at this time of year. Experiences that the child - or, preferably, the whole family - will enjoy are absolutely the best things to spend gifted money on.

1vandal I am also going to assume your mother wasn’t saving £100 a month for you and she didn’t spend it on a nice family holiday.

If I gave a child money for Christmas, I’d be delighted if it was spent in this way.

I wouldn't. I'm giving money to the child, I wouldn't be chuffed if it gets used for a holiday which is blatantly planned to suit what the parents would like to do.