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Original poster

To use DCs Xmas money for a family holiday?

365 replies

Ooooophhh · 07/01/2020 09:53

Last year we stayed in a fantastic holiday cottage in our favourite place to hide away which had to be unfortunately cut short.
We have booked our 2 week summer holiday this year so it is not that we aren't going on holiday this year.
However, I have been snooping online and discovered a brilliant deal on the cottage for 1 week over half term. It will cost us in the region of £300 for 1 week in the 5* accommodation-money we don't have at the moment . But, DCs who are toddlers, received money for Christmas totalling this amount. They don't need anything so we were planning on paying the cash into their bank accounts, but I'm now wondering whether to use the money for a family get away instead.
Am I being selfish and indulgent to use their money for this? I just want a change of scenery and nothing to do for a week!

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 07/01/2020 19:55

If the toddlers had over cash to you to book the holiday, then you can say they wanted to spend the money on a holiday and forced it on you.

FamilyOfAliens · 07/01/2020 19:58

I think the OP is going to use her DC’s money whatever anyone on here says.

She probably just didn’t realise how many people would think she was wrong to do so.

furrytoebean · 07/01/2020 20:06

I am surprised so many people seem so against this.

I much prefer the thought of my money being used on fun experiences than kids toys they'll grow out of.

Go and enjoy your holiday OP

May2020 · 07/01/2020 20:09

@furrytoebean fun experiences? They're toddlers. A wooden spoon and a saucepan is a fun experience for a toddler. The money is likely intended for their futures, not for their mum to take them on a jolly which only suits her

FabbyChix · 07/01/2020 20:14

Nope not your money to spend

Tessaraqt · 07/01/2020 20:19

@May2020 You're being ridiculous. Of course a 4 & 2 year old benefit from a holiday. Haven't you seen kids on a beach?! Paddling in the sea, making a sandcastle, having an ice cream, chasing seagulls, walks collecting leaves through a national trust place etc. I live in a city and my kids NEVER get to do this stuff.

I openly say to family at Christmas "I'd love money so I can take the kids away on a holiday", and every year that's what they do. Because my family are normal people who want my kids to have a happy day to day life, they give the money with no strings or expectations. My family would say "if money is tight, use it on food, or shoes, or heating. As long as they are happy and loved with a roof over their head - you choose how that money best benefits them". I think spending money on a holiday for kids is far far better than them being given plastic tat, or sitting there not benefiting them for 18 years.

May2020 · 07/01/2020 20:22

@Tessaraqt and you're missing the point. It's not mum's money to spend (unless explicitly stated otherwise by family, which clearly isn't the case).

Willow2017 · 07/01/2020 20:26

I much prefer the thought of my money being used on fun experiences than kids toys they'll grow out of.
The only option isn't buying toys she could put it in thier savings acvount towards driving lessons, spending money when they go on holiday later in the year, countless other things.
Because playing board games in a 5 cottage will not stick in a toddlers mind any more than playing board games with parents at home will. Toddlers don't care about 5 luxury op does.

user1487194234 · 07/01/2020 20:36

I would do this in a heartbeat

Pinkyyy · 07/01/2020 20:36

Its 150 quid each ffs! By the time the kids are learning to drive, lessons will be about £50 a lesson. Honestly what flat have you ever rented or bought where they accepted £150 pound deposit? Ridiculous!

It's not just £150. The OP has already said that they have piggy banks and savings accounts. If she spends everything they get on herself they'll have nothing saved for their future.

FeemyMacdermot · 07/01/2020 20:46

But the OP isn't spending it 'on herself'!

If she were proposing to spend it on the mystical MN Spa Day or whatever, I'd say she was a swine. But she's proposing to spend it on something that her DC will enjoy (not all holidays for toddlers need to include theme parks, despite some of the ridiculous claims on here), and something that will benefit the whole family.

I say this as someone who hasn't been on holiday with (or without) my DC for 10 years now.

yogo · 07/01/2020 20:46

No way I'd do this, it's not okay.

Cohle · 07/01/2020 20:48

I openly say to family at Christmas

Asking for and being given money for a specific purpose that you are open and upfront about it beforehand is totally different from what the OP is proposing to do. Which is stealing from her kids piggy banks to fund a jolly that is almost entirely for her benefit, not the kids.

doritosdip · 07/01/2020 21:07

Tessaraqt- the children are toddlers (1 years old) They will not be getting the same benefit that a 4 year old will get from going on holiday. The family already have a holiday booked this year.

At 1 years old, I think that OP's family should do experiences that suit their budget. It's not hard to find experiences for a one year old that is cheap. If the kids pay for accommodation, presumably the parents are paying for petrol etc That money could be saved for another time when the parents have more money. The children are one so they have the luxury of going in term-time (unless OP is a teacher)

Copperleaves · 07/01/2020 21:09

Don't you know toddlers love their log fires of an evening!

doritosdip · 07/01/2020 21:09

Feemy- toddlers wouldn't pick 5 star accomodation. They'd be happier with something cheaper. The nice 5 star accommodation is for the adults benefits.

Notso · 07/01/2020 21:13

Don't you know toddlers love their log fires of an evening!
GrinGrin

1forsorrow · 07/01/2020 21:13

I give money as presents for the children in 4 different families, once the children are 12 or 13 I give the money directly to them but for younger children I give money to the parents and I always say, "Buy them something they way, save it for them, do something nice or pay a bill if you need to." I think it seems a bit controlling to give money with rules about how it is used. I'm sure the children will enjoy a holiday, I'd be happy if I'd given them the money. It isn't like you don't save for them, just look at it as if you aren't saving £100 a month for 3 months if it makes you feel better and enjoy the holiday.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 07/01/2020 21:13

This is why I no longer will gift cash to children as so many parents see it as free reign to spend how they wish.

If you want a holiday then work extra to fund it, it’s not down to toddlers to fund your break.

They won’t remember it and don’t need it.

Forcryingoutloudwtf · 07/01/2020 21:14

I don't know what the big fuss on here is about. OP, you save £100 a month for each of your children. Just don't do that for a couple of months and you'll have the money. It's the same thing as using the £300. It just phrases it differently. You'll still be putting £1200 into each of their accounts this year, £150 from your relatives and the rest from you. Personally I don't put as much as you do in my children's accounts each year so I'll certainly not be acting like you are trying to rob your children. Maybe those on Mumsnet who think you are trying to rip your DC off do put £1200 into each of their children's accounts each year. They would have to realise how silly they would sound otherwise. You cannot steal £300 from people you GIFT £200 each month. You just won't be giving the gift for a month and a half and as they don't know about the gift and it isn't a wage or necessary in any way there is no problem with not giving it for once (or twice).

We put a smaller amount into our DC's accounts each month and if I wanted to spend some money on a holiday for us all and we didn't have enough I would not consider it at all dodgy to not gift them money for a couple of months. Your children seem to have plenty of money saved for them from various quarters. If I were you I would book the holiday.

1forsorrow · 07/01/2020 21:14

Why would children be happier with cheaper accommodation? They might not be bothered about 5 star but I can't believe a young child is going to say this is too nice, let's move somewhere cheaper.

Beach11 · 07/01/2020 21:16

Why don’t you use their money to spend on activities/days out whilst you are at the cottage? That way you can the send pics to the givers showing how much fun you are all having.

lunar1 · 07/01/2020 21:18

My 11 year old recently used saved money for a trip abroad with school I couldn't have afforded to pay for. He had the time of his life with his friends.

On his return he rang all the family members to thank them for their years of Christmas and birthday money. He's still got enough left to do it again, as has his younger brother.

Toddlers don't care about nice log fires, you would be really selfish to use their money for this.

PaperbackBlighter · 07/01/2020 21:19

I always give children related to me money for Christmas. I do don’t have lofty notions of my fifty quid funding their future Ph.D, I generally see it as a lazy present for their parents to use to get the kids something nice. A family holiday is something nice.

I’d say go for it, OP.

Purpleartichoke · 07/01/2020 21:20

I wouldn’t hesitate to spend my child’s gift money on an experience gift. Something like a zoo membership or a trip to a trampoline park. I wouldn’t enjoy the trampoline outing, but I love the zoo and also benefit. So I think the real question is if this trip is Something for the kids that you will also enjoy, or is it for you and they have to tag along. Assuming you are planning lots of kid friendly activities, I think it’s fine to use the money.