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Original poster

If you received 120k inheritance and had paid off your mortgage

99 replies

TherapyGal · 19/10/2019 14:11

Would you gift any to your kids?

I have 7k debt and was hoping my dad might have thrown 1 or 2k my way. Am I being unfair?

Obviously not going to ask him!

OP posts:

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 20/10/2019 14:53

I don’t think it’s miserable to not gift any more money given they have already handed over £14k and the OP wants more.

Old enough to get into debt and still have luxuries is old enough not to expect others to bail you out.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 20/10/2019 15:02

Absolutely. I'd never demand anything off anyone. To do so would be disgusting.

However. Reversing the relationship as a parent I'd give some money.

Sockworkshop · 20/10/2019 20:29

These people who constantly have their eye on their parents money -really grabby.

Honestly just learn to rely on yourself OP.
Pay off your debts now while you can and then go on holidays etc.
If you were to be made redundant or lose your job you will kick yourself that you didnt get rid of it.

sansou · 20/10/2019 22:01

Horses for courses.

OP wouldn't ask for it but she's obviously hoped that a few thousand - that's entitlement!

I wouldn't offer to gift my DC a few thousand if I saw them going off on holiday (luxury not an essential in my eyes) rather than prioritisng paying down thousands off their credit cards/loans.

I'v been in the position when we had a £6K credit card debt (new kitchen/house renovation overspend) on a 0% deal. We made cutbacks and didn't have ANY holidays for the next 2 yrs whilst we paid it off within the interest free period because that was our priority. Personally, I wasn't comfortable to have that amount of debt and wanted to get rid of it asap. I have used 0% credit on big ticket items before and did exactly the same thing. (Cba with doing the transferring to another 0% card & bouncing the debt about which I know is an option)

sansou · 20/10/2019 22:04

It didn't even cross my mind that my parents perhaps might gift me a grand or two when they inherited from my GP's at the time and I had a £6K debt. So more or less, the exact same scenario but totally different mindset!

user764329056 · 20/10/2019 22:12

In a heartbeat

TeacupDrama · 20/10/2019 22:17

many people although their mortgage is paid off they need the money to live o as maybe only a small or state pension my DF pension is frozen at the same for the rest of his life as the company he worked for and paid into went into liquidation he didn't lose all of it but because it has now been at the same amount for 15 years it pays for less and less each year ( he is quite a bit older than my DM so she will only get 50% of not a lot) so they are slowly eating into savings each year just to live they recently had an inheritance from my aunt ( his sister) but they need it to potentially fund life for the next 15-20 years)
a 100K will provide about 3-4K a year max as a pension or drawdown

tigger001 · 20/10/2019 22:24

Personally yes I would if my son was struggling to sleep at night and I could help him, of course I would.

Your parents obviously have a good reason in not doing so, their money their choice.

Have you posted about this previously ? It seems very familiar

sansou · 20/10/2019 22:36

The OP isn't on the breadline or struggling!

tigger001 · 20/10/2019 23:13

The OP said she was struggling having sleepless nights over it before her pay rise. I would have helped my son at that point in that situation if I were in a position to do so.

Superlooper · 20/10/2019 23:18

DM and MIL both did but we didn't expect it from either of them and hope they wouldn't leave themselves short either

Zenithbear · 21/10/2019 10:55

Well it may be harder now but we had to save our own deposits. You have been given £14k and still want more.
Our rental income gives us about £1k a month that's two properties. Your parents have a 3rd so get more. A nice passive income but hardly rich though and even though we are mortgage free we still need to work part time to pay for holidays etc. So our savings are there to help us through retirement.
Our dc don't think we're loaded but tight and should be throwing money at them. One of them already has a house and a rental property and another has just bought their first home. I'm pleased that they have grown up attitudes to finance.

Mintjulia · 21/10/2019 11:02

It’s up to your df. It’s his money.

I’d pay off a student loan but not debt accrued on stuff like cars, holidays and clothes.

Original poster

TherapyGal · 21/10/2019 15:31

14k is a long way off a house deposit here.

The debt wasn’t on clothes and holidays. I simply said I had spent some money on clothes and holidays since a pay rise.

My view is that I would always help out my kids in this situation. I wondered what others thought and clearly there’s many who disagree with my view

OP posts:

Ellabella989 · 21/10/2019 15:38

If I inherited that much and was mortgage free (and also had kids, which I don’t) then I would 100% give them £10k or so each. My mum did similar when she inherited. I didn’t need to ask as she is very generous and I knew she would insist on helping us

LolaSmiles · 21/10/2019 17:36

The OP said she was struggling having sleepless nights over it before her pay rise

And yet when the pay rise came the priority was buying new clothes and going on holiday.
If you're worried about your debts then you get a payment plan, you cut back, you budget, you sacrifice on luxuries, not go on holiday, go shopping and then hope your parents will give you a few thousand.

My view is that I would always help out my kids in this situation. I wondered what others thought and clearly there’s many who disagree with my view
Most people would agree with helping a child who needed it or was experiencing difficulty, we just don't happen to think we should be paying off debts for adults who are prioritising clothes and holidays over their debts.

Zenithbear · 22/10/2019 11:21

14k is still a lot of money. Even if it isn't enough for a house deposit in your area, I'm sure it would go a good way towards it. I imagine most people would be grateful to be given that amount of money.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 22/10/2019 14:34

I think maybe you should separate your debt problems from your DF's inheritance. Before the inheritance you presumably intended to pay it off yourself. So do that.

Perhaps your DF has plans for his inheritance. Perhaps this includes investment in property that might come your way when he dies.

He had to wait for his inheritance so I don't see why you think things should be different for you. But if you are really struggling despite making all reasonable attempts to pay it back on your own, why not open the conversation with him and see if he is willing to help with an interest free loan?

Happyornot · 23/10/2019 22:35

Yes I would totally help out, and if I didn't need to touch the £120k, would clear all the debt so you can start with a clean slate.
Everyone has their own views about money within families but it seems like you are working hard to clear it and without the debt would be financially stable, and not likely to get into that amount of debt again, unless you had a change in circumstances e.g lost your job. So in your parents position, yes I would.

VanGoghsDog · 25/10/2019 17:26

My dad inherited £250k and varied the will to gift me £50k (and £5k to my sister, some to my brother and some to my cousins).

I gifted £1k each to my niece and nephew.

So, I know I would, but I don't think I would expect it from anyone else.

Aridane · 27/10/2019 06:35

If I were OP’s parents and read this ‘woe is me I only got £14k from my parents not enough for a house deposit’, I would amend my will to see you got nothing on my death😳

DonkeyHotty · 27/10/2019 06:43

Yes of course I would. In a heartbeat. If I had no mortgage, a pension sorted, savings and was financially sorted why on earth would I want all that extra money mouldering away in a bank when it could actually change my children’s lives?

Op people have always been funny on MN about money and inheritance.

DonkeyHotty · 27/10/2019 06:43

Ps I’d give the whole lot to my kids

Strawberry72 · 29/10/2019 18:57

I am going to read all of this as we are mortgage free early in 2020 and have just inherited £120K

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