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Original poster

It’s an inheritance one

104 replies

Percy1234 · 16/08/2019 06:14

My elderly Uncle ( never married and no children) passed away.
In his will he left everything to me. Property and cash around $1.3 million.
My DM wants me to share equally with my 3 siblings.
DB 1 wife with MND and short life expectancy.
DS 2 labourer
DB3 tradie but in and out of work due to fluctuations in his industry.
Do I share? Do I keep it all?

OP posts:
HollyBollyBooBoo · 16/08/2019 06:15

What are the pros and cons for sharing it?

Why did your uncle just leave it to you?

Original poster
Percy1234 · 16/08/2019 06:20

Left it all to me as I was the one who maintained contact and helped him out when required.
Pros - no hard feelings if shared
Cons if not shared then probably destroyed relationships.

OP posts:
BeckyButters · 16/08/2019 06:39

What are your relationships like with your siblings? Good? If so I'd think twice about not sharing. Bad? Is this why you are thinking of not sharing, do you feel they don't deserve it? It looks like the money could really benefit all of them. If they were all really well off with good careers they might not need it so much? Personally I don't think I could hold on to it all myself especially if I wasn't expecting the inheritance in the first place.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/08/2019 06:46

That’s so difficult. I guess I’d share, but begrudgingly.

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 16/08/2019 06:47

Can you share the cash & keep the property?

HotDogGuy · 16/08/2019 06:51

If it’s 1.3 million can you give each 100k as a gift from you? I think you have to respect your uncles wishes and not split everything. But if I can into that sort of money I’d try help family members out.
But I’d make it very clear that there was no more money after the 100k

Monty27 · 16/08/2019 06:52

I suppose you don't have to give them a down the line equal share.
But their relationship with him should probably be acknowledged in some way. Confused

user1474894224 · 16/08/2019 06:55

Hmmm so you had a relationship with him. You helped him. What did your DM do for him? If nothing then she can keep well out of it as she forfitted her right to an opinion when she didn't support him.

If you and your mum did similar to each other then I might be inclined to listen a bit to her.....you will be paying a lot of Inheritance tax - so it won't be 1/4 of what you inherited. Your siblings will also be required to pay tax on the money.....so maybe get some expert financial advice and make a gift to them. You choose the amount.

No one has any right to anyone else's money....if your uncle was sound mind when he made the will he knew what he was doing and made his own choice. Ask your mum how she'd feel if her will was messed with after her death.

StrongTea · 16/08/2019 06:55

Possibly keep 50% and divide the other 50% between the the others.

Mayborn · 16/08/2019 06:56

I feel like dis is going to be one of those situations where no good deed goes unpunished.

Do they know how much you have, is that total after IHT? I’d be inclined to say the right thing would be to share, not to split. His wish was for you to have it not them, so anything they get is a gift from you which should be a good thing but may not be easy.

missbattenburg · 16/08/2019 06:57

For me it comes down to whether or not you are close.

Essentially it sounds like you can have:

1.3m and no family
0.3m and keep your family

Which is a rough decision to make but only you know if the relationships are 'worth' 1m.

Hellohah · 16/08/2019 06:57

I would gift them something. But surely splitting it 3 ways is disrespecting your uncle. You obviously liked him as you maintained a relationship, so why disrespect him because he's no longer with us?

Original poster
Percy1234 · 16/08/2019 07:00

He was my Dad’s brother.
Mum in contact by phone but had not seen him since Dad’s funeral 30 years ago.
I am leaning towards sharing, but putting some money aside for Mum as well.
If Mum needs care, selling her home will not be enough to pay for it, so putting some aside before sharing makes sense.

OP posts:
Waffles80 · 16/08/2019 07:01

I’d give them a big chunk each - say 1.5k, which is a HUGE amount / would surely significantly reduce mortgage payments etc.

But sharing equally seems unfair on you.

What’s your situation? How would the money impact your life? You need to honour your uncle’s wishes as clearly he wanted to make an impact on your life as thanks for your impact on his.

Thegracefuloctopus · 16/08/2019 07:02

This happened to my mum. My auntie got everything and my mum nothing (through a legal technicality, not because she didn't care for them so slightly different).
My aunt promised she would give DM half. When it came to it she gave her 10% and even that was forced by my nan.
Make sure your mum hasn't said to your siblings that they will get an equal share and manage their expectations.
I would also have half and split half between the other 3 or choose a generous amount to gift to them. I wouldn't split equally but then I don't get on with my siblings soo...

Waffles80 · 16/08/2019 07:03

Totally agree with PP too about ensuring your mum does NOT make an inappropriate announcement to your siblings.

It’s so honourable that you are considering her care, too, OP.

NotJustACigar · 16/08/2019 07:03

I'd give them 100k each and keep the rest.

Plexie · 16/08/2019 07:07

Is the OP, or the money, in the UK? They've stated the amount in dollars.

I think sharing some of the money with siblings is a good idea, but not an equal split.

If you're not in the UK, what are the tax implications? How much will be left after inheritance tax? Will there be tax implications if you gift the money to your siblings or can you do a deed of variation of the will and direct the money to them from the Estate and not via you?

Original poster
Percy1234 · 16/08/2019 07:08

Well Mum has put me in it. Told them how much and that will be shared.
Did not tell them he had left it all to me!
Good thing I like my siblings.
After’s discussion with DH, plan is to sell property and put money aside for Mum’s future care needs, then share equally with siblings. It will make their lives significantly easier, especially DB1.
Thanks for thoughts and advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Percy1234 · 16/08/2019 07:09

No inheritance tax involved

OP posts:
Winebottle · 16/08/2019 07:09

How is your relationship with your siblings? If it were my siblings, they'd be getting nothing. He left it to you, it is yours. If they didn't maintain a relationship with him, why should they get anything? If they were not close enough to stay in touch, they are not close enough to expect hundreds of thousands.

Noviceoftheweek · 16/08/2019 07:12

Sounds like you are happy with your choice OP. Well done. Just make sure you have considered your own financial needs into the future too. How’s your pension looking?

7yo7yo · 16/08/2019 07:15

I wouldn’t share equally.
I’d give them £100k each including your mum and keep the rest.

Original poster
Percy1234 · 16/08/2019 07:16

@Noviceoftheweek, now that we can pay off the mortgage, we can put more into pension.

OP posts:
Mayborn · 16/08/2019 07:17

That’s absolutely awful of her, you need to keep her out of it from now on. She is risking damaging your future relationship with your siblings, I would be furious.

You need some legal advice, they need to know it was left to you. They had the chance to show the man some compassion when he was alive and chose not to. It’s not for her to decide, good god I would be mad!!

I think setting aside money for her care is a good idea, otherwise same will happen... they’ll expect you to look after her. So essentially you’re setting some of that aside to ease the burden on yourself later. You need to put a clear amount on it though so if it runs out you’re not expected to pay it, and also decide whether you use her money first or yours. Very complicated. Definitely get advice.