It’s an inheritance one

[Percy1234]

My elderly Uncle ( never married and no children) passed away.
In his will he left everything to me. Property and cash around $1.3 million.
My DM wants me to share equally with my 3 siblings.
DB 1 wife with MND and short life expectancy.
DS 2 labourer
DB3 tradie but in and out of work due to fluctuations in his industry.
Do I share? Do I keep it all?

I was going to say the same as a couple of PP, give them 100k each. That's a lot more than they would have got and I imagine it could be put to good use. They didn't keep the contact and didn't help your Uncle out so shouldn't be expecting anything.

I don't think there's a strong moral case to share equally. He left the money to you because you put in the effort to maintain a relationship that your siblings did not.

I think it would be reasonable to keep half and divide the other half equally among them.

Nb you don't mention any cousins from any other sibling of your uncle but it would be very unfair to divide between your sibling group if there are cousins who are equally closely related to your uncle.

I would also get proper financial advice because if you it your family are in the U.K. there's tax implications. You cannot simply gift those sums of money it needs to be done properly in a variation of the will.

Just because your mum has told them the amount and that it will be shared doesn't actually mean you have to. If one of my siblings had inherited that amount and it was left entirely to them I would want to know that-I would possibly accept a smaller gift but would feel awkward about it being equally shared. Just make sure they have this info. Say 'I'll share it out but as it was left to me, it's down to me to sell the house and everything first so it may take a while...' If I'm honest, I think your mum's behaviours stinks! You maintained the relationship and were left the money as recognition of that-it's what your uncle wanted.

I wouldn’t share it equally when you were the only one who kept contact. I would be furious with your mum for giving them the idea they would all get an equal share.

This happened in our family...my auntie inherited a large amount as she was the one in contact...did all the helping out etc. There was no expectation from my dad to have a share...but she gave him a smaller share.

I can’t imagine not sharing with my siblings in those circumstances.

I would have to share I think. Not equally but a big chunk.

Sorry just seen the update that this wasn't even your mum's brother. Sorry but she doesn't get to say what happens here. She's not seen him for 30 years. And why no inheritance tax? What country is this? Because you don't want to get caught out.

I would share it with your siblings.

You are so, so right to share.

I have been in the receiving end of a situation like this where myself and my siblings were very badly treated by a very greedy relative. He no longer sees us or our children and seems happy to sit on his golden egg. I can't tell you the emotional upset it has caused.

And it really wasn't about the money - the hurt that someone close to us inflicted with very little thought was pretty devastating.

Unless you're already very wealthy I wouldn't split equally with the family. Do you have DC, or likely to have any in the future? I'd want to provide for them before siblings.
As pps have suggested 100k for each sibling is a big amount that'll give them a massive help.
There's nothing like money to cause problems in families, whether it's "justified" or not & whatever you decide may cause resentment in one or other of them - why did x get the same amount when they've got steady employment, why did y get the same when z has a serious medical condition to factor in & on & on.
You're all adults now & have/will have your own spouses & DC that becomes your primary focus, where your financial priority lies. If your uncle had had children he'd have left them his money, not you.
You're not 10 year olds any more, living under the same roof & having to share everything to make it "fair". Work bonuses, small lottery wins, money found on the street, whatever, it doesn't go into a common pot when you're adult siblings.
This is a big amount & it's come after a sad loss but I don't think splitting it equally is the way to go. If you tell them you'd like to give them each 100k & any of them turn their noses up at it then I'd put their 100k in that savings account for your mum's possible care. needs.

DH said I would not be the woman he married if I did not share.
I did maintain the relationship but DB3 did as well to a lesser extent. So does not feel right not to share.
No cousins as we are the only offspring Of Dad and his brothers.

You are doing g the right thing. That sort of money is life changing even when shared. The emotional fall out would haunt me and just not be worth it.

I hope that, now your dm has so unhelpfully announced it's going to be shared equally, that your siblings aren't disappointed and start becoming resentful when they 'only' receive a smaller share.

Could you ask her to do some backtracking and say she's been thinking about it and on reflection you would be perfectly entitled to keep the whole lot but it's really none of her business.

Outrageous behaviour from your mother!!!

I like the view of your DH - now you get some money and get to keep him. Isn’t that a win - win?

I’d give them a big chunk each - say 1.5k, which is a HUGE amount

Did you mean 1.5k? £1500?

Hell, it's a lot of money to pay for (say) a coat but I cannot imagine it making much of a dent in a mortgage?

Fuck that! I’d be livid if my mother did that! I’d tell my siblings that is was left to ME and that I planned to gift them “some” and the mother could sort her own care :/

I’d give some, £100k each probably. I wouldn’t share it equally if I had been left it because I was the only one who had made any effort!

I would keep half and split the other half three ways. Might not be “right” but that’s the idea that comes to mind. They would still be getting a big chunk each.

Something similar happened to one of my friends, her brother inherited £500,000 from a family member and didn’t give her a penny. It has damaged their relationship.

I have 3 siblings and in this scenario I would share equally. If you do decide to put some money aside for your dms care should she require it, make sure it's in your name!
So, £150k locked away in a high interest account for dm care.
That would leave you with £337500 each. Your siblings may well have to pay capital gains tax on their share. Should your dm not need care, you've still got the £150k to fall back on in your retirement.

I think as long as you have a good relationship then share equally, id just feel blessed to have a fraction of it! On the other hand if you don't have a good relationship then I wouldn't...

My eldest DS doesn't speak to me so she would get nothing 😂😂😂

www.saga.co.uk/magazine/money/personal-finance/inheritance/deed-of-variation

Sorry Op, just found this to explain how you change the will after death. Seems like I was wrong about tax, as long as you do a deed of variation.

So, £150k locked away in a high interest account for dm care.

Where do you find one of those these days?!!