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Original poster

It’s an inheritance one

104 replies

Percy1234 · 16/08/2019 06:14

My elderly Uncle ( never married and no children) passed away.
In his will he left everything to me. Property and cash around $1.3 million.
My DM wants me to share equally with my 3 siblings.
DB 1 wife with MND and short life expectancy.
DS 2 labourer
DB3 tradie but in and out of work due to fluctuations in his industry.
Do I share? Do I keep it all?

OP posts:

Jocasta2018 · 16/08/2019 10:04

Keep 60%.
10% each to your siblings and mother.

hughwhatascorcher · 16/08/2019 11:55

Your Mum is waaaaaaaaaaay out of order.
I would be fucking furious - how dare she.

picklemepopcorn · 16/08/2019 12:01

Be very careful how you do this! A lump sum will impact your siblings benefit entitlement very negatively. For example, your SiL with MND May be entitled to support at the moment which she could lose if she suddenly gets a lumps sum.

My BiL was given money in a similar situation, which meant he was not entitled to benefits and made it much harder for him to manage.

Summerunderway · 16/08/2019 12:01

Your dm is a cf and stands to be the one to benefit the most it seems...
Tell your siblings the truth about the will and give them some but not equal shares.
It was your uncle's wishes remember....

picklemepopcorn · 16/08/2019 12:02

Ditto with DM's care- it may be better if you keep it, but assist generously and regularly when assistance is needed.

Drum2018 · 16/08/2019 12:09

Your mother has absolutely no right to dictate how this money is used. Your uncle clearly stated his wishes in his will so you will be going against that if you share it. It's yours - end of. It's up to you solely to decide what to do with it. You're a bigger person than me if you split it equally. I might give them 100k each but ultimately you should look after yourselves and your kids future first, not your siblings or your mother, who are responsible for their own financial state. In any case you would need to consider tax implications, benefit implications for those you gift money to.

PanamaPattie · 16/08/2019 12:15

I wouldn’t give them any money. They will keep coming back for more. I wonder if they would have shared with you?

Fretfulparent · 16/08/2019 12:28

Why is there no inheritance tax? D0 you/he live abroad?

applepieicecream · 16/08/2019 12:32

I would share equally without question

ChicCroissant · 16/08/2019 12:44

Sorry for your loss, OP.

If there is no inheritance tax, it's not in the UK.

I would make it plain to your siblings that your mother has jumped the gun here, OP. The money has been left to you and (if) you are willing to share the money will be coming directly from you and not your Uncle and the amount is at your discretion.

littlebitbroken · 16/08/2019 14:25

Wow, the number of people who wouldn't share equally on here is astounding.

So sad.

OP - you are awesome and I salute you and your DH for being top drawer human beings.

To those of you who wouldn't share equally - pah.

Medievalist · 16/08/2019 14:44

I guess looking at it from the uncle's perspective, he'd probably be pretty pissed off if he thought a large part of his estate was being handed to people who'd never cared about him and who consequently he didn't care about.

I know it's now the op's now to do with what she wants but I can't help thinking that uncle wouldn't have been happy that a woman he'd never seen in 30 years was dictating how his estate should be allocated 🤷‍♀️. She really does need to be told to butt out. Obviously to avoid ill feelings the op will have to give her siblings something, but out of respect to uncle I wouldn't make it equal shares.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 16/08/2019 15:12

Why are you finding your mothers potential care fees?
She doesn't sound very nice. What's she doing to sort out her finances that are actually not your problem?

LochJessMonster · 16/08/2019 15:19

I wouldn't share equally. If they had little or no contact, then Uncle obviously had a reason not to leave them any. You earned the money. If you got a bonus at work, would you split it equally?

If you split it equally I would say you are a fool.

LochJessMonster · 16/08/2019 15:20

And your DH is out of order for his comment.

user1487194234 · 16/08/2019 16:12

I would share with my siblings because to me family is much more important than money x

TixieLix · 16/08/2019 16:21

Of course it's not the UK. In the first post the OP gives the amount in dollars.

If it was me I'd share with siblings, but not equal shares. I'd give them maybe 200K each, put 100K away for DM's care later on and keep/invest the rest. Don't feel guilty about saying there was a misunderstanding and revealing that you were the sole beneficiary. You were the one who kept in touch and helped out the most.

Medievalist · 16/08/2019 16:48

I would share with my siblings because to me family is much more important than money x

And uncle's wishes? Or do they not count now he's dead?

flirtygirl · 16/08/2019 17:08

You don't know the uncles wishes or intent. Maybe it was easier to name her and cheaper and he expected her to share it.

The people not giving some to family or sharing it equally are just saying that as a cop out to their own greed.

I would either share it or give a decent amount like 200k each, but op please look into the effects of giving it and discuss with your siblings as paying off their mortgage or putting into trust or pension may be better especially if it would all go on care etc.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 16/08/2019 17:10

They do know his wishes.

Because he left a will.

That's literally the reason for making a will

Whattodofgs · 16/08/2019 17:23

I would take legal and financial advice before you do anything.

Amazing as it might seem giving money away can have tax implications.

Medievalist · 16/08/2019 17:43

You don't know the uncles wishes or intent. Maybe it was easier to name her and cheaper and he expected her to share it.

🤣😂 So you're sat with your solicitor who's writing your will and say you're going to leave everything to one niece because it's simpler/cheaper than saying your estate should be split equally amongst your 4 nieces/nephews?!

The people not giving some to family or sharing it equally are just saying that as a cop out to their own greed.

Actually no, I'm thinking of the person who made the will and what they wanted.

My parents were extremely careful with money. When my dm died dsis and I inherited some money. I actually kept a log of what I spent mine on so I could demonstrate to myself that it wasn't being spent on things dm would not have approved of. I didn't think wahay - W Indies here I come! That's what I would have liked to have done. No, I spent it on sensible things like home improvements, a new car etc - because I knew that was what she would have wanted me to do.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 16/08/2019 17:52

The people not giving some to family or sharing it equally are just saying that as a cop out to their own greed.

So how much of your money that's sat in your bank account right now are you going to distribute between your family?

MummytoCSJH · 16/08/2019 17:59

I wouldn't split and I don't care if that makes me greedy. You were the one your uncle wanted it to go to, because you were the only ones no cared about him! Your mum is a CF.

flirtygirl · 16/08/2019 18:09

Loads of people write a will on paper with witnesses. You don't need to see a solicitor.

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