Watching myself get more and more into debt and no idea what to do

[OhButWhatIfIFly]

Hi all, NC here as I don't want to be linked back to my previous threads, but I am a frequent user.

Go easy on me here, I really need some advice and I just don't know where to turn. I'm going to put in a bit of personal info here because I am really hoping there are some wise mumsnetters who can see the forest past all the trees, because I certainly can't. And I am sure that there are things I can do, but I'm not sure what they are.

I left my abusive husband 3 months ago and I've been with him since I left school 10 years ago. He controlled all our finances so this is my first bit of adulting and it's not going well. I work full time as a teacher and I have a middle management position. I live in a council flat and receive housing benefit (not a lot) and I get some money from Child Maintenance. In total, that makes my monthly income after deductions £2269.38. My rent is £664 per month, childcare £1648.48. I work 1h15m from home as I can't afford to live nearby and therefore use my car. Petrol costs £80 per month approx. Then I spend about £15pw on food and toiletries. This puts my basic outgoings at £2452.48. This means each month I lose £183.10. That's before my phone bill, additional childcare for Parents' Evenings etc.

I've applied to UC but don't get anything. I have no friends or family that could help out with childcare. And when I say no one, I really do mean I am doing this alone. DD is 20 months, so we are still a fair bit off the 30 free hours. I am trying to relocate up north, but no jobs are coming up for the subject I teach but I am looking as this may help. I could do something else, and have been looking at admin jobs, but a huge pay cut would still put me in the same position. Do you think a weekend job would help me out after the cost of weekend childcare (providing I can find one, as looking at childminders, there seem to be none in the area that work weekends)?

I just don't don't know what to do or where I can go for advice. Any ideas are welcome!

OP, please contact the Teacher Support Network. Their role is to support teachers in exactly your position.
www.divide.org.uk/charitydetail/36/

She would if the uc claim was refused.

No she wouldn’t, an application stops all other benefits.

Well, it stops all other benefits that up replaces, it doesn’t stop child benefit, dia etc.

Council tax: it's all in with my rent. I have no idea about the breakdown.

UC: I definitely put everything in correctly. They told me I am entitled to 500 but then today told me I'm not. Bastards.

Thank you for the link, I'm going to take a look at it now.

HB: Because I am in emergency accommodation, I get housing benefit from the council (£13). This will stop and UC will take over once I get a perminant address.

Wages: this is very true about dropping a band!
At the moment my contributions are the normal stuff (NI, tax) then I pay pension, which I suppose I could stop but then I don't know if I will face problems later in life, and student loan repayment.

Sounds insane but would you be better off working part time?

Would it reduce student loan payments?

3 days nursery with 3 days working may mean less of a loss...

Look for a nanny share?

If you are an early years teacher would you be better off working in a nursery if you get a subsidised nursery place?

Ah, that explains the hb. Annoyingly I think you might be better off if you were in your own flat and getting housing element thought Uc. When are you likely to get re-housed?

Yes, definitely do the figures on part time working. Might well work out better for you.

As a teacher and in middle management I do not see how you could entertain the thought of a weekend job as your workload must already be all consuming. Who would look after your child at weekends.
Have you thought of online teaching English via skype?

You can't continue as you are - sorry it's so tough.

Possible options:

Supplement income with tutoring evenings when DC sleeps

If childcare is FT:

• Tutor in holidays or
• switch to Term time only childcare

A nanny share might work or you could even consider a career break and start nannying yourself - if childcare is in high demand the chances of finding a good position where you could bring your DC is quite high.

Could you hire a live out nanny, would work out cheaper than two child care places

Getting some work during school holidays where you could take your DD with you may bring in a little extra, such as being a holiday nanny, but finding the work may be tricky depending on your location. Also what do you usually do during school holidays - preparation for the following term?

Holiday nannying would not involve anyone coning to your home, in fact you must not do that as care at your home would fall under Registered Childminding regulations.

Private tutoring during school holidays may be an option but you would need to pay for childcare, so income vs expenses to consider.

Soontobe: brilliant, I didn't know this existed. Will call today!

Random mess : I need to do the maths again. At first I thought no, but then I forgot the deductions will also be less.

Wrongkind: well at first they told me it was 12 months before they would even give me log on details to bid on a property but everyone who has been to assess it says it is unsuitable and have recommended that I be rehoused, so we shall see.

That's good to know about the holiday nannying. I do usually do prep in the holiday but I will just have to work longer on a night to fit it all in. Needs must and all that.

Online tuition I can't do as I can't afford broadband so I just make do with my phone plan which isn't enough for regular Skype calls

No advice but this situation is absolutely awful. I am sorry op - the government should be ashamed that people have to struggle like this

Definitely consider dropping your hours. It'll only be for a few years.
I would also look at exam marking for during the summer holidays. I know a few teachers who do this working from home.
Alternatively, teaching opportunities abroad???

With paying out ni, tax and student loan, they will reduce along with the nursery fee if you drop to 3 days a week. I would really do this as you also gain less stress and time with your child.

You would also save on your commuting cost.
It may be worth it when you can afford it to get broadband, check out mse as it starts from £20 a month. I'd you can do tutoring from home you gain income with no nursery costs or commuting costs.

It just shows what a shit storm UC is, on the old tax credits, you would have been okay with your income and childcare level and work would have paid.

Fuck and now my husband has just put a preventative steps order in against me. I'm so scared he will force me to stay in London and I'm going to end up bankrupt 😭😭😭😭

Sorry to hear that op. and needed.

Ohbut
I'd nevere heard of one of those orders sheltered life
but this site is interesting
www.onlydads.org/information/told-need-prohibitive-steps-order
He ma well not get it
and if he does, he may well regret it

You focus on you.

When do the admin team come back into school so you could talk to them about altering your hours to reduce the stonking childcare bill for the next two years?

In the big scheme of things, you are a really good credit risk as a teacher so you just need to find ways to cope until your little one is in full time school.

As long as you stay within a reasonable distance for weekend contact it's unlikely he can stop you moving.

So I guess you can move further out of London on a decent train line on the way to your family.

a prohibitive steps order is very unlikely to stop you moving from say zone 2 to zone 6 or anywhere with less than 90 minutes travelling time, it is unlikely to stop you moving from central London to Reading, or Watford or Oxford; it might stop you moving to penzanze Durham or Edinburgh, it could definitely stop you moving to Paris the Shetland isles or barcelona
you will be able to argue that you need to be able to move out of London to provide a stable home and income for the child and that it is not to try and stop Father having contact or a relationship,
being in Watford would not stop him seeing your child every Saturday whilst being in Inverness would look like obstructing contact as EOW would be virtually impossible
quite a lot of the UK is less than 90 minutes from London Coventry, Northampton Bristol etc etc

Aha, now I understand.

So those orders are to stop things like a "friend" taking her kids to Scotland in the middle of the night and then refusing access to her husband in the Midlands for ten years the kids now choose to live near him as adults BTW

Not the OP's circumstances methinks

My family and all my friends live in Yorkshire so I suppose he is trying to get me to not move there.

If you can get work and housing and support within two hours by train from London, I'd be amazed if one of those orders would stop you.