Can I ask how much rent you'd charge in this case?

[justliketheones]

Will try to be as objective as possible and not give away which party I am.

Grown up DS& his wife and one DC. They have a combined income of about £1600. One room, free access to bathroom (when free of course) and kitchen, they have access to things such as milk/bread/if there are crisps/fruit etc but also replace those when they run out. Grown up DD charged nothing to stay although she may start uni in September (not doing anything right now, weekend job). So the money would be to cover extra heating/hot water/ (there's no water bill, just for hot water)/use of room/ some food but anything specific they have to buy/ electricity. Both shower every other day (about 10mins each), DC has small bath every night and of course there's extra washing/toiletries etc. How much a month would you ask for? They pay about £650 in personal bills eg phones, netflix (which everyone has access to) and they pay for the broadband/tv channels/WiFi for the house.

I would charge £50/ week plus food. Free if studying

This does sound excessive £450 plus food when living with a family member in one room, but perhaps she’s trying to force you to consider how much a private rental will cost? Or save on your behalf? I’d think £80 a week would be more reasonable but she might really need that extra £125 a week ...

Either way, you have to pay it or find somewhere else to go.

I hope your not going to blame MIL, as you should have agreed the amount prior to moving in unless emergency circumstances dictated it. Your partner needs to discuss this with his mother, if he can show that realistically worked out financial plan with coatings to her and his/your financial output alongside a savings plan then she might reduce the amount. Especially if it’s phrased as £X in council tax, £X in average electric use, £X in gas and £X in entertainment package = £X increase per month when compared to previous bills

I hope you’re doing okay though, this must be stressful

Around here you can rent 2 bed house for £500 pcm!

If I was the DM and felt that part of the problem was related to saving up a deposit for a new rental, then I might charge a highish rent, but then give it back when it was enough for a deposit.

I don't understand why you think your partner's family have a responsibility to subsidise your living costs by giving you free accommodation.

If your MIL wants to charge you rent to live in her home, you might not like it, but she is perfectly entitled to do so!

I'd charge £200pm because if you were one of my children you'd eat me out of house and home and never go shopping.

If you'd made bad financial choices in the past I would charge you £400 and save it for you.

I'd also tell you to shower once a day

Charge them the going one room rate which in the south east is 500 a month. Put it in an account seperately and give it to them when they leave.

So it's basically two families in the house. With that in mind, I'd say all bills split 50:50 between parents and DS, assuming DD is still say 18 or 19. (If DD is older I might say 40:40:20 is fair with DD paying the 20). With the possible exception of premium TV or broadband if it's just one person who's really wanting it.

That's how I did it when I lived with DM (just the two of us) after returning from uni.

I might not charge rent. If I did, I would charge either somewhat less than local private rents, or half my own rent/mortgage payment, whichever is lower.

But if one party is in financial difficulty the split of expenses can and should change. It'll be a source of resentment if some people in the family are struggling while others are splashing the cash. And remember if the shit hits the fan and bailiffs show up, they'll be taking everyone's belongings.

PS: Read the updates. The £450/month is surely more than the entire bills for any but the most energy-guzzling house. In Birmingham where I live it's also steep for private rent for a room; if I hunted around I could get a flat for that much.

By asking for that much, the parents are either being greedy, or sending a strong message that they want DS and his wife to fuck off.

It would be nice of your MIL to charge you less but she's not under any obligation to house you for free (or just for that cost to her of bill increases). She can charge you whatever she wants, if you don't like it you can leave - which might well be what she wants. It's her house, it's not really a question of what's "fair".

Your outgoings seem very high. Prime and Netflix and Sky is a hell of a lot of entertainment...

I wouldn't charge anything. If I was single and my council tax went up I may ask for the difference.

My friend charged hers- she put it all into an account without telling them and then gave it back when they wanted to buy- which I thought was a good compromise.

Rent a room allows £7,500 tax free- over this you have to pay tax.

I would move on as it is clear by such a high rent for one room in a shared house, that she doesn't want the extra people. Perhaps she will do the wise thing and downsize soon as she won't need a 3 bed house for herself any longer.

Why would it be "wise" for the MIL to downsize exactly?

Yes I'd charge a fairly high rent and give it back as a deposit if I thought it would help. I'd probably tell you this though. I'd want to see some evidence of you making an effort to save money/reduce debt too. This year should be a good time to reduce your debt and get yourself back on your feet. I wouldn't want to only receive a peppercorn rent and then see you wasting money. I'd be willing to help you if you are prepared to also help yourself.

Will you be debt free at the end of this year?

If they are genuinely keeping that high rent then they aren't being kind. It's not going to help you get back on your feet. But if you are genuinely irresponsible with money then they might as well charge more of a market rate and benefit from the inconvenience of having you stay.

So whether yabu or not, depends on your attitude.

PCohle, why wouldn't it be wise to downsize? There would be so many more family homes available if people were willing to do so. Otherwise we have families living in small flats and older people pottering around massive houses built for families. From a practical viewpoint, downsizing would free up spare equity (if the MIL needs money, otherwise she is stingy to charge such a high rent), and would prevent the current circumstance from happening again if she resents her lodgers.

The MIL has two kids both of whom are currently living with her in what sounds like a three bed house. But she needs to downsize to free up "family homes"?

She's taking the piss. 450 a month?! You could have a room in a bloody house share for less than that. How on earth would you even be able to save.

I don't know how she's even began working that out.

PCohle one adult son who has his own family and one going to uni in September, perhaps a bit soon for downsizing but certainly not too soon to start thinking about it. Especially if she is looking to avoid having boomerang adults coming back to live with her again - I'm assuming she doesn't want this by the way she is charging £450 for a room plus asking for TV money.

Having seen BiL fail to move out of the family home because he has got used to his whole salary being disposable, and so "cant afford to rent somewhere", I think Id like to see evidence of an appropriate rental (or mortgage) amount, for the size and location they want, go into an untouched savings account. Always assuming I could afford to charge 0 rent.
It sounds like this isnt possible at the moment, otherwise you'd be doing it. But that would be what I would want them to work towards.

Personal bills seem a bit high

I would charge £100 a week for the room to include food and bills. Not including personal toiletries, Netflix, mobile phones or the odd pint of milk/loaf of bread etc whenever required.

It would still be £100 once their DC has gone off to uni as I wouldn't charge money for grandchild.

Of all the things happening in this thread, choosing to criticise the MIL for having selfishly chosen not to downsize when her (presumably) three bed house currently has 5 occupants seems a little odd to me. Sounds like a perfectly efficient use of property to me.

How is she taking the piss? If there are so many houses/rooms available for £450 a month including utilities etc, presumably the OP could move into one of those instead. When my DH moved back into his mother's 20 years ago after a split, she charged him £100 per week for just him.

I wouldn't particularly want my adult dc plus their family moving back into my house unless under exceptional circumstances. And as combined income is £1600, I'm going to assume that one or more of the adults plus child will be home for most of the day. I don't blame the MIL if she doesn't really want them to move back either.

Any reason why you aren't going back to your own parents OP?

It’s not common to be able to rent a room only for 3 people either. A slum landlord might let you, but it’s not a good place to be.

Sorry, I see it's not including utilities but the rest of my post still stands. When adults move back 'home' it becomes very easy for them to take the piss even though they may not intend to.

Hard to say how reasonable £450 a month is without knowing where in the country you are. In central London that would be incredibly cheap for a house scare but in some rural areas of the UK you could easily rent a 3 bedroom house for that price.

Where I live a single person would pay around £500-£600 for a bedroom in a shared house, inclusive of all household bills (water, gas/ electric, phone/ internet) but not personal expenses (food, toiletries etc) or household necessities (toilet roll, cleaning products etc). Would have sole use of a double bedroom with en-suite and shared access to kitchen, living room and garden.

As such £450 does sound reasonable to me. You shouldn’t just expect to literally just be paying the cost of the bills increase but also to be paying for the fact that your MIL is losing a room of her house, having to share access to the bathroom/ kitchen/ living room and thus losing privacy. She’ll have to e and make allowances regarding how and when she uses the shared areas o of her home, there’ll be noise considerations (Eg: noise from the baby, or having to keep quiet for the baby) and she may feel less comfortable to relax in her house with you there. Also your rent should help to cover the additional wear and tear put on the house and appliances by having two extra adults and a baby living there and using them as it’s likely things like the washing machine/ hoover etc will need to be replaced sooner with increased use so part of your rent should go towards the costs of future repairs and replacements.

Presumably you are saving money by living with your MIL rather than private renting? If that’s the case then it’s fair to think that your MIL should share part of this benefit too and be able to save some money whilst you live there due to your ability to contribute. If you’re not saving any money by living there and can find a place for under £450 a month then I would say it’s time to look for one of those alternatives.