Can I ask how much rent you'd charge in this case?

[justliketheones]

Will try to be as objective as possible and not give away which party I am.

Grown up DS& his wife and one DC. They have a combined income of about £1600. One room, free access to bathroom (when free of course) and kitchen, they have access to things such as milk/bread/if there are crisps/fruit etc but also replace those when they run out. Grown up DD charged nothing to stay although she may start uni in September (not doing anything right now, weekend job). So the money would be to cover extra heating/hot water/ (there's no water bill, just for hot water)/use of room/ some food but anything specific they have to buy/ electricity. Both shower every other day (about 10mins each), DC has small bath every night and of course there's extra washing/toiletries etc. How much a month would you ask for? They pay about £650 in personal bills eg phones, netflix (which everyone has access to) and they pay for the broadband/tv channels/WiFi for the house.

I'd expect them to be pulling out all the stops and working as much as they could to provide a home for the child they chose to have.

£1600 between two adults means even at min wage they are only doing the equivalent of one full time job between them.

Given the loan was for shortfall in loving costs, I'd Exocet phones, Netflix etc to have all gone.

I'd be more worried re that then rent tbh.

I didn't mean for this to become a reverse thread, when I wrote it I was trying to write it so you didn't know which party was which but I'm actually the DIL.

The £650 odd for personal bills- over half is a bank loan repayment. Then, as I said, we cover the sky/broadband/WiFi which is £50 odd (part of the £650), then Netflix/prime which is again used by MIL as well, and then phone bills/course from home etc. We both work part time for good reason.

With that in mind, the reason I was starting this thread is that MIL wants £400-£450 on top of the broadband etc. This doesn't cover a contribution to food either, we'd need to pay for that separately. Apparently that's the cost of us living here in terms of bill increases etc. We're very grateful for her letting us be here but that just seems quite high. Maybe I'm wrong though.

That could well be how much you are costing. How much were your bills when you lived on your own? Can one of you start working full time to get out faster?

But difficult though if you’re the DIL because what choice do you have? If she wants £400 there doesn’t seem any reasonable way you can refuse

I can't see how it would cost £450 without food. You could try to see if she would charge you less but if that's what she asks for then I suppose you take it or leave it. It wouldn't be how I would do things if I was your MIL though. I wouldn't charge if I could afford not to, to allow you to save, but if I did then I think it would be a lot less than £450, just whatever the extra food cost and a little for bills.

Exactly, what can I really say?
Prior to living here, no water bill (same as here), leccy £70 per month maximum, more around the £55 mark, heating about £45/50.

£400 a month sounds reasonable if buying own food.

If your agreement was that you would pay difference in household bills could you ask for sight of those bills to show the difference from last year? How much have fuel prices gone up in the last year and have any other circumstances changed? £100 per week for heating/lighting one room and the additional hot water for washing/laundry for a family of 3 sounds quite a lot.

How long do you expect to take to pay off the loan? Have you spoken to. MIL about needing to have a deposit saved before you can move out? She might take less so you can move out sooner. I think paying off the loan is good, the sooner the better, but extending the loan period might allow you to save more quickly.

The adult DD paying no rent is nothing to do with you. Even if your DH was paying his own way at that age, If you try to raise this with MIL you will just antagonise her and she is the one doing you a favour.

Why do you not work full time? At least one of you could and pay the teen to look after your child if needed.

You have a ridiculous level of outgoings for someone without a home to pay for. You need to cancel Netflix etc ASAP.

They need to start earning more than £1600 between them if at all possible.

Netflix is £8 a month

@passmethecherrycoke then how is the rest of the bills still over £300 after the loan repayments? Cancel as much as possible OP. Broadband is available cheaper, you don't need Netflix or amazon let alone both.

I think it’s reasonable, and the real test of whether it is or not is, if you don’t like it, go find somewhere else to live for that amount of money.

SIL is far too irresponsible to watch D.C.- I'm not being fussy or anything but genuinely couldn't leave DD with her all day, absolutely no way.

Where do you live? What is the average rent for a one bed flat? It's hard to say what's fair without knowing the size of the house etc. Though it doesn't seem fair the other grown up daughter pays nothing..... and £1600 income for two adults doesn't sound liveable... surely there is childcare available from the MIL and SIL?

Honestly, I think that if you’re unwilling to stand on your own two feet when you’re married and have a child, but will spend money on Prime and Netflix, you shouldn’t complain about a £450 rent cost from the parents who are housing you.

@BoomTish that's not the case, it's very unfortunate circumstances that have caused us to move here and we were living on our own until recently. Also we didn't have prime before but MIL told DH she wanted us to pay for it and he agreed.

What age is DC? Does your OH not work full time? If your loan payment is say £400 how the hell are you wasting £200+ on phones etc that's ridiculous. You'll never be in a position to rent or buy unless one of you works full time.

No one likes mean parents. In family terms, I think £500 pcm is way too high for a room, because you could practically get a commercial flatshare in London for that.

Netflix and prime are 15 pcm between them which ain't going to make a difference to anything except worse relations with PIL if you cancel them.

But... one of you needs to work more or you'll never leave. DC = money from you, not anyone else.

If the unfortunate circs were illness or otherwise not your fault, MIL is being unreasonable. What happened?

Broadband, netflix and prime is not a reasonable contribution (and broadband can be a lot cheaper), that sounds like a total of £70 a month.

£400, excluding broadband seems like a fair contribution. You would never get any kind of rented room for that little.

Have you moved in at your MIL’s request?

Prime is only about £8 per month, netflix around the same. So with broadband you pay around £70 a month for you all to live there. That's hardly anything. You couldn't all live elsewhere for that amount.

Has the studying you're in debt for not led to more work? You doing a few hours each isn't going to result in your own home given the debt as well.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss I'm not sure what you mean? We pay broadband, our own food, prime etc and then pay £450 on top of that, not all combined. The debt isn't study-related. Tbh I don't want to go into great detail of our reasons because I think MIL is a MNer.

You said it was for a home course, why would you do one and get into debt if it wasn't for a job?

I think the rent sounds very reasonable and maybe she's doing it to make a point. You have a lot of luxury bills yet have had to resort to living with your MIL.

I'd be reminding my son that he has responsibilities and part time work was madness. The phone contracts, Netflix etc should have gone a long time ago in favour of his child having their own home.