No money to buy my children Xmas presents

[proudmum77]

Just after some advice really. We have no money to buy our 3 children (13, 10, 7) any Xmas presents. I have enough this month to pay bills and rent and that's it. So really I'm asking what do I do? I feel such a failure, ashamed that I can't get them anything. I know Xmas is all about family time and love etc. But how are kids going to feel if there is nothing from their parents? I have raked through our stuff and have some stuff up for sale on Facebook but that doesn't seem to be selling. I just don't know what to do..... feel so stressed....so ashamed......a failure

Charity shops have books and toys in for pennies. Could you look on Freecycle? Or put on the facebook selling pages any swaps?

Remember in the long run your kids will appreciate that you had the sense to prioritize rent and bills. I'm sorry that doesn't help much for now though

Do you have any Tesco/ nectar/ boots cards with any points on?

Can you swop any toys / books with your friends- maybe without the children knowing( obv stuff they don’t play with often so they won’t notice)?

Are you crafty - could you make anything?

Our hospice has christmas fairs, so many as good as new toys, books, etc. See if there are any this weekend. I have seen loads on FB local pages this week, a lot of mums having clear outs to make room I guess, so find your local FB page or marketplace, gumtree, freecycle.

You're just going to need to explain it to them. Maybe say instead of Xmas presents, you'll all have a nice day out when the weather improves? The 13 and 10 year old should understand if you prepare them in advance. The 7 year old will be harder but you'll get there if you explain now. Don't wait until Xmas day.

Do you have any family who could help you out? For example, let you say that a present from them is actually from you? And then they buy just a little token officially from them? My family have helped me out in this way in the past. Nothing to be ashamed of - better that than a New Year full of unpayable debt. Hope it's OK.

For you OP

You are not a failure and you certainly should not feel ashamed. Choosing to pay bills and rent is the right choice. Christmas has been turned into a massive spending spree when it should be more about family time. I agree with @Avrannakern, talk to your children and tell them the truth. You never know they may have ideas of what to do instead of gifts, maybe experiences, a day of baking with them or board games.

Get hunting on FB for local a activities that don't cost anything.

Plan some silly games to play on Christmas Day like whack the kipper. Treasure hunt, the hat/gloves/chocolate, the flour game, loads of old palour games stuff can be found on the internet.

It wont be easy but you aren't a failuIre. They're of an age where they can understand life can be shit.

Will they be getting presents from other family?

Freecycle, Freewheely and charity shops.

Credit Union.

You said "We" - Can one of you go out to work? Hospitality agencies are crying out for staff this time of year, if you rang up sorted an assessment session and started work later this week you'd be paid by next Friday, especially if you signed up with 2 agencies. Obviously agencies are in big UK cities tho so if you're more rural then this won't help I suppose.

Good luck OP I hope you find a way through

Where are you OP? I am about to have a clear out of my 9yo's things. He has lots of lovely toys in new condition that your 7yo might enjoy. You can PM me if you don't want to go into detail on here.

We are really hard up this Christmas too you're not a failure for making sure your children are cared for with somewhere safe to call home.

Salvation Army near me and our local police are collecting gifts for kids who won't get anything otherwise. Obviously this is location-dependent but it's worth checking out what's available near you. GP or school pastoral staff may also be able to signpost you.

Hello everyone

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask everyone to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.

Could you ask at a local food bank? I'm sure I've seen that they have been collecting non-food/toiletries for this very reason. Please don't call yourself a failure.

Food banks often have vouchers for a donated toy scheme, so if you qualify for food banks they will know where you can get something.
There will be something, somewhere.
It's shit and I'm sorry

Proudmum
For the next week, eat out of your cupboards.
No booze, no fags, no ready meals, no gambling.
Buy only essentials
Spend that saved money (which will add up to at least £20)
on cute little things from a Charity shop
and tell your kids you love them LOTS

OP I'm sorry to read this, but why have you left it to now to realise? Christmas comes every year

Can you call your local hostel? My sister spent Christmas in one, all of the residents were inundated with gifts from kind strangers. She got 4 huge bags full and there was tons of stuff on the communal tables. People want to be helpful but don’t know where to go so you may find local places have excess they can spare. Good luck and you’re not a failure!

I'd go cap in hand to schools tbh.
Love the assumption the OP buys booze and fags. As if she needs telling not to buy them when her kids don't have Christmas presents.
Charity shops are full of overpriced shite and poundland would be better, even a tenner on the 7 year old would get a small pile. Same with the 10 year old, the 13 year old can play along and you can promise something in the new year, that's what my mum did with us.

There are lots of organisations which provide presents for children who would otherwise go without. Mission Christmas, Salvation Army etc. The school may be able to refer you. Or contact the food bank as they should know how to get a referral.

Go to your local food bank. Also check what your local radio station is doing - many have present donation schemes for local kids who won't get any otherwise.

No booze, no fags, no ready meals, no gambling (which will add up to at least £20)

You know we have no way of knowing the OPs circs or whether this is genuine or not. But that is a properly shitty assumption to make. So this person is claiming hard up, ergo they must be spending on booze/fags/betting? People cant just be hard up without those things?

Yes working more hours seems to be the way to go unless there are extenuating circumstances. If one of you is home in the evening, the other goes to work in a bar or similar. It'll be hard but it is only for 2 weeks.

If either of you are employed by a large organisation they may give you an advance on your pay.

Another one to suggest food bank... our local one has been given present stuff for children . If you can contact the local Lions Club or Rotary club they can point you in the direction of places they have fundraiser and donated toys to.

Our local radio station had an appeal for toys for families unable to afford presents.