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Original poster

No money to buy my children Xmas presents

131 replies

proudmum77 · 11/12/2018 19:15

Just after some advice really. We have no money to buy our 3 children (13, 10, 7) any Xmas presents. I have enough this month to pay bills and rent and that's it. So really I'm asking what do I do? I feel such a failure, ashamed that I can't get them anything. I know Xmas is all about family time and love etc. But how are kids going to feel if there is nothing from their parents? I have raked through our stuff and have some stuff up for sale on Facebook but that doesn't seem to be selling. I just don't know what to do..... feel so stressed....so ashamed......a failure

OP posts:
shiningstar2 · 11/12/2018 21:56

whoa winterer. It's tough for some out there. It's true that you get chancers, especially at this time of year, but the op has been given some good advice about possible sources of help in her local area. Nothing wrong with that ...and I think in general mumsnetters have become wiser over the years about giving personal financial help to those they know nothing about.

OP ... if you are genuine ...good luck and I hope you have some ideas now for local help.

Original poster
proudmum77 · 11/12/2018 21:59

Can anyone tell me about Freecycle, I haven't heard of that?

OP posts:
shiningstar2 · 11/12/2018 22:01

Didn't finish posting:
And I agree. for what its worth winterer, its better to just give advice on these threads and focus gifts/food/financial help on our local charities.

DavetheCat2001 · 11/12/2018 22:01

Google is your friend

www.freecycle.org

giftsonthebrain · 11/12/2018 22:01

OP start planing for Christmas 2019 on Boxing Day. Pick up cheap Santa socks and festive items at huge discount, one item each grocery shop. Hide them well, that way next year you have a little something.

shiningstar2 · 11/12/2018 22:02

Sorry: I mean Wintermuter.

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 11/12/2018 22:05

Strange post from HQ

bumblebee39 · 11/12/2018 22:05

The food bank might be able to help you if really desperate
They may also be able to give you a food parcel so you can save Money on food and spend on pressies instead, they may also be able to get you in contact with agencies for clothes and presents

The Salvation Army may be able to help

There's a lot of things that make Xmas special but don't cost much money
Make gingerbread men or Xmas tree decorations, or make mince pies or jam tarts together, sprinkle reindeer food (aka oats) and enjoy a hot chocolate with marshmallows.
You can get some great things in charity shops- even £15-£20 a head could get a generous looking Xmas spread.

If it's really important to you maybe find a way to a) make some Money b) borrow some money or c) trade in some old stuff for new

Igottastartthinkingbee · 11/12/2018 22:07

Our local supermarket do a toy (brand new stuff only) collection thing, maybe worth finding out if yours does too? And ask which charity it goes to. I think ours give to Salvation Army. Good luck OP I hope you get something sorted.

Habadabadoo · 11/12/2018 22:39

We have a local Facebook page that a local lady runs and sometimes ask for help like this for families that have contacted her. It's heartwarming to see the amount of people who want to help. When I donated some things I was really pleased I could help someone.
Have you any local pages on Facebook like that?
I can understand you are feeling stressed Thanks

Calvinsmam · 11/12/2018 22:42

whereabouts in country are you i know someone might know some organisations that may help

olivertwistwantsmore · 11/12/2018 22:44

Just google Freegle to find out about it...

Jenniferb21 · 11/12/2018 23:25

There might not be enough time to make a massive difference but these apps are free and a quick way to make £5-20 extra every couple/ few weeks

Enlightly, voxpopme, ipoll— these are the quickest I know of and I made over £100 on last year and saved it for this Xmas.

i poll takes more time as it’s filling out little surveys but I do it when I’m watching tv and kids are in bed.

Can you do an Xmas day box with some some Xmas day activities? Make cards with cheap paint (see Pinterest for ideas) make decorations, include a v cheap dvd Xmas film, a Xmas top/ pjs/ hat, some small goodies, anything like this they could enjoy?

Can you look at the food shopping this week and really cut that down to save £10-30 and use that to buy something small each?

There’s time to get somehing from eBay if you’d like a new Xmas t shirt or pjs for them look Sunday night as this is when most listings end and find the ones for 0.99 plus 2.95 postage. Some Xmas themed books are £1 in charity shops etc. Most children will inot know when toys are second hand if you can afford to check out Facebook market place.

I really feel for you op and hope you manage to work something out although children really do just need love, care and time I really feel for YOU (because I’d feel so sad too) I know your children will be okay though and they really are at an age where they’d probably understand and life isn’t fair but you have each other and can have a lovely day in sure xxxx

Try not to feel ashamed there are many parents trying to make things work and I think you’re teaching your children very well if you tell them the truth and teach them this way. I have always lived beyond my
Means and would think nothing of buying on a credit card or overdraft. You’re setting a very good example xxx

Original poster
proudmum77 · 11/12/2018 23:56

Jenniferb21 thank you, you're right about setting them a good example and I hadn't thought of it that way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those who have offered advice. Tomorrow I am on it, I am going to make some things and search the charity shops etc. See what I can find. Also already found Freecycle and looking into that. Also going to go to try to find out about other charities/food bank etc. Thank you, just posting on here has given me the hope and support I needed

OP posts:
Somewhereovertheroad · 11/12/2018 23:58

Can you contact the St Vincent de Paul or Salvation Army? Both donate toys at Christmas.

Letsmove1t · 12/12/2018 00:08

Box clever, have Xmas on 27th Dec, get DH or Family to look after kids & waitress on Xmas day & Boxing Day plus New Year’s Day - double or triple time plus tips- loads of venues need Xmas staff, get out there, earn it, spend it on sale items- quids in all round

FissionChips · 12/12/2018 00:14

Your children are getting presents, just not from you?
What’s the problem then? If they ask you simply say “we can’t afford it right now, we’ll make it up when we can”.

Monday55 · 12/12/2018 00:29

If your kids are sensible, just tell them know you've had an unexpected bill so won't be able to buy presents. Growing up without is reality for some, especially those in 3rd world countries. I grew up in a poor home so never had xmas presents until I was around 12yrs old. Starting January try your best to put away £10/15 a month so you have over £100 to gets kids something come Xmas 2019.

MilkyCuppa · 12/12/2018 00:48

You could try posting on your local Facebook page to ask if anyone has any unwanted toys you could collect. Also the Salvation Army are usually pretty good at handing stuff out if you walk through the door and have a chat with them. They usually have a stock of second hand toys and clothes etc.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 12/12/2018 00:55

If there are presents under the tree, it doesn’t matter who they’re from. I would imagine only one of your children (might!) believe in Santa at this point?

Pinotwoman82 · 12/12/2018 06:24

Could you go to Poundland and get a few bits and pieces to wrap up?

BarbaraofSevillle · 12/12/2018 07:51

Apologies if you've already gone through all the suggestions, and it is probably too late to free up money for this year, but you could benefit from help with budgeting.

If you can go through the Moneysavingexpert money makeover you might find ways to cut your essential costs, increase your income by doing things like change your bank account, or there could be benefits that you're entitled to that you're not claiming, extra money from cashback sites, cheaper gas and electric, all sorts of things.

Also sign up to the weekly newsletter for ongoing tips on increasing income, cutting costs, finding discount vouchers and free or very cheap things to do.

If you could free up a tenner a week by increasing income or cutting costs, that will be £500 you'll have next Christmas to buy presents and a few extra food treats too.

Moominfan · 12/12/2018 07:56

It takes a bigger person to shun all the Xmas hype and not get into debt op, your kids will thank you in the long run

BigFarmer · 12/12/2018 14:14

That's a lovely way of putting it @MoominFan and I've no doubt you're right. Thank you.

Schoolchauffeur · 12/12/2018 14:21

Are there any charity gift collections locally ? Not sure if you need referral to these from CAB or something. But we have these giving treees in our shopping centre where you take a gift tag and it tells you what to buy - we've done a few - things like " gift for 13 year old girl , 15 year old boy etc and we drop them off and they get distributed before Xmas to appropriate families .