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Original poster

How to afford a child ?

71 replies

Hellomoo · 22/06/2018 23:14

I’m 27 with my partner for 5 years and thinking of starting a family in the next 2 years but I’m worried if I can financially afford it.

I have a degree but have done low wage jobs and am currently in a support worker type role earning nearly min wage partner similar situation and also supports child from previous marriage so he is financially worse then me.

Our housing costs are cheap (council) 1 bed flat and we live in a very cheap area (think Grimsby - grim but cheap) but I’m worried I’d hate to be stuck in poverty with a child forever but it’s unlikely either of us will increase our earnings much.

If we moved where there’s better jobs our housing would triple - where we live there’s barely jobs but I have family support.

If we were to have a child I’d work 2-3 days per week, partner full time obvs. But it still doesn’t seem enough to even survive.

Should I have a child when I’m not financially able too?

OP posts:
feral · 22/06/2018 23:55

Have you tried the online calculators based on your likely reduced earnings to see if you'd qualify for tax credits?

Having a child in a one bed at isn't ideal through.

Original poster
Hellomoo · 23/06/2018 00:05

I have checked and it’s seems just about do able but that’s only with child benefit / WTC and who knows if/when that changes

OP posts:
dancehowyouwannadance · 23/06/2018 00:10

There's never a right time, OP. But, very cheap housing costs are very rare, so go ahead. Wish I was in your shoes.

Original poster
Hellomoo · 23/06/2018 00:54

I know we’re very lucky without it god knows

OP posts:
ChickenOrEgg6 · 23/06/2018 04:04

I would go ahead as long as you know you can make it work (even if only "just") it's only a few years that it's really tough with work and childcare etc.
after they're at school it's a lot easier, and you can increase your earnings by working more hours then.

RoboJesus · 23/06/2018 04:12

I would be looking at comfortably providing for the child you already have before having another. 2 kids in a 1 bed flat will be a nightmare. Start seriously looking for better jobs and in 3 years time you could be in a vastly better place financially and physically.

ChickenOrEgg6 · 23/06/2018 04:25

I read it as OP being childless at the moment but considering her first? Sorry if I misunderstood...

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 23/06/2018 08:57

Agree Robo, the existing child should be a priority and they deserve their own room at both parents house. Adding more children when the first is getting minimal support and has no bedroom at his dad's house is selfish and putting adult wants over children's welfare.

Original poster
Hellomoo · 23/06/2018 11:26

I don’t have any kids

OP posts:
ourkidmolly · 23/06/2018 11:28

Well once you have a child you'll be rehoused particularly if you're in a grim area as demand for council housing isn't as high.

Melliegrantfirstlady · 23/06/2018 11:32

I don’t think one kid is too expensive.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 23/06/2018 11:35

Your partner does though or don't they count??

Rocinante1 · 23/06/2018 11:36

You don't have kids, but your partner does. That child needs to be financially provided for and be secure before your partner fathers anymore children.

Tax credits are great of course, but no one should plan a family whilst planning to support them using benefits. If benefits change, you're screwed.

Plan a way to increase your earning. Get your life on track. If things havnt changed in 2 years, then having a child in these circumstances might be your only choice. But you're 27 so you've got time to spend a couple years trying to make changes, move jobs etc.

XXXTentacion · 23/06/2018 11:38

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autumnleaves101 · 23/06/2018 11:38

I would see if you can both build your careers for 2-3 years if that is at all possible? Could you do an extra qualification?

Do you have any savings for stability for the future?

XXXTentacion · 23/06/2018 11:42

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RoboJesus · 23/06/2018 11:47

You do, you have a step child. The step doesn't make a difference and you should treat them the exact same as biological children. The (what must be)6+ year old child does not yet have their own room and their needs have to be prioritised over your wants. That's what being a Mother is about

Sevendown · 23/06/2018 17:03

Why only work part time?

Why would you expect the lifestyle of someone who works full time of you don’t?

How much do you have in savings?

Save up enough to pay for the childcare between when you go back after may leave until the 3 year old funding comes in.

When you have that go ahead.

Also check with your council/ha what the waiting list for a 2 bed is like.

RickyGold · 23/06/2018 17:31

You are only 27 and with a degree, why are you so accepting about only working at around NMW ? Plus 2-3days a week is nothing, why not 4-5 days. Maybe try to increase your income potential, it will be easier before you have a child but certainly doable after.

Xenia · 23/06/2018 17:41

Why do you think naturally your partner will work full time but not you? As they haven't married you you will lose out big time longer term if you rather than he stays home to mind the child. If he doesn't earn much may be if he had his child living with you both full time and he stayed at home with your new child and this one then you and the other child's mother could work full time and forge high paid careers better (I just took 2 weeks off when I had a baby and went back full time and that worked very well in terms of career and long term earnings).

Original poster
Hellomoo · 23/06/2018 21:23

Lots of repsones thanks for the replies.

Firstly I work full time now once I have a child I would work part time as I think (personally) it’s not good for a child to have 2 parents working full time (plus childcare would be more then wages ) so I understand and expect to live on less and it wouldn’t make sense as I’d have to then pay for childcare (family could look after part time).

The step child doesn’t live with us but with his mum my partner pays more then most in child support plus regularly sees her so he’s responsible.

Like I said, career wise I did try and even got into a little debt (sorted now) trying to get a better career but even if I moved city, tripled my income it would still be more expensive then staying in my home city in my low income job as I wouldn’t have a council flat/free childcare in my mother and as you all know they cost a fortune !

If I were to have a child it would be in 2 years - I would then hopefully have decorated the flat nicely, possibly bought the flat with my boyfriend (5 year mortgage needed) and saved £1,000 for baby things and finished my £1,500 credit card debt.

Anything else I’m missing?

OP posts:
RoboJesus · 23/06/2018 22:04

So your partner doesn't have any sort of custody? Not EOW and half the holidays? If that is the case I would not be having a child with him. And just commute

greendale17 · 23/06/2018 22:09

How will you afford childcare?

scopello · 23/06/2018 22:32

You're negative for someone only 27. I would say that you need to get out there and live your life - travel, move to another city, get another job/s, see more of the world before you basically settle down and have a family. That's from the perspective of someone who has moved cities multiple times for career prospects. Life is full of unknowns and it is exactly what you make of it.

If you're happy with your situation (and there's nothing wrong about your choice), you make the best of it. At 27, my career was only just starting. If you were my daughter, I would encourage you to have more self belief, apply for other jobs and spread your wings.

RedDwarves · 23/06/2018 22:44

If I were to have a child it would be in 2 years - I would then hopefully have decorated the flat nicely, possibly bought the flat with my boyfriend (5 year mortgage needed) and saved £1,000 for baby things and finished my £1,500 credit card debt.

This is a rubbish goal. Why is your ambition to purchase the grim, one bedroom flat you are living in at the moment, rather than saving for at least a larger house (more adequate for children)?