Coping financially when maintenance ends

[JillyC8]

Older mum here, stressing about how I'll cope financially when my children reach 18. I thought it would get easier, I'd meet someone new etc, but that hasn't happened and happy as I am being single, I realise it puts me at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to finances.

In two years, my maintenance will halve, then two years later will stop altogether, as will the tax credit and child benefit. I work full time in a stressful job, to which I commute for one hour each way. I've looked at alternative employment closer to home, but in the field I work, there is very little around and I'd end up taking a very big wage cut.

I'm in my fifties, and I want to begin easing the stress a bit, but with the prospect of losing around £800 a month in a coup,e of years, I don't know if I ever can.

Even with the children getting jobs, and my daughter wants to go to uni, I doubt their contribution to the finances will make a big difference at their age. We don't live in a big house - just a 3-bed terrace, so downsizing isn't an option. I will still owe £95000 on my mortgage in two years.

Just wondering if there is anyone else here who is facing this scenario ...

J

Do lenders lend beyond age 70 and if so is that really wise?

#Namechanger, I am always looking out but due to the lack of employment in my field, so work locally and ditch the car would mean working in admin, and taking an almost 50% pay cut (wages are appallingly low here). I could struggle through doing that at the moment, as I have CTC, CB and Maintenance, but it's the 'in two years time' scenario that terrifies me.
I've also costed out public transport, which would have to be two trains and a bus as the company I work for is in a small, isolated town with terrible transport networks. Set off at 6.45 each morning and get to work just after 8am, traffic allowing, and I get home between 6 and 7 each evening. I feel so guilty that my kid still have to sort everything out themselves in the mornings and we eat late at night, but they're independent, which is a good thing.
I look at people working in my local supermarket and envy them! It seems those types of jobs are only available on a part time basis.
I've had a couple of interviews for low paid jobs which I could have done with ease, but wasn't offered. I don't know why - possibly an age thing, which is also frustrating.

I'm so pleased I posted on here. I haven't done so for years, but it does help to discuss with others in the same boat. I feel quite energised by others' experiences and realise there is more I can do. I honestly thought it was a problem I had somehow got myself into, rather than commonplace, so that provies some small relief.

For anyone that is thinking of having a lodger, the Government is surprisingly generous. Google their 'Rent A Room' Scheme. You are allowed to receive I think it's £7,500 in renting out part of your own home and no tax is payable.

Does anyone on here rent out a room? I live in a small house with one bathroom, so it seems like a difficult option to consider...

This is a really interesting and supportive thread, but sad that there are so many of us in the same situation.
Regarding living frugally I can do it, but am sick and tired of it as I have been doing it for years. Never buying new clothes, hardly having the heating on over the winter, eating frugally etc. What I would give to go shopping and treat myself to some nice things or go on a little holiday.

I rented a room out for two years but it's true that there were two bathrooms in the house. However if you can stand it, it was very easy money compared with working.

I rented out two rooms in my home pre children and it worked very well financially but it’s hard to live with strangers as you get older and I wouldn’t do it again. Everybody shared the kitchen and one bathroom. Too many irritations and compromises.

I also think it is difficult to live with other people, but doing it just for a year or two is manageable. And if you rent to a student they are only there for 8 or 9 months of the year.

Do you have a language school nearby, OP? My friends have take taken in visiting students. They are usually 16/17/18 and at college for most of the day.

Am watching this thread with interest as Exh and I split everything fairly with 50-50 childcare, but he is crap with money, my savings are dwindling and I need to
make them grow.

I bought my new home outright in order to create some safety, but I wonder if I could take out a small mortgage on it in order to create funds for university fees later? I had my DCs young, so still earning power but am self employed...

Little pill: I don’t unfortunately, I’m Devon-based but in a fairly small town. It sounds as though you have a good foundation for financial security later on. I took on a 30 year mortgage when I was 40 but haven’t managed to reduce it as yet.

I was in a similar position some years ago but better now as my mortgage is almost paid off and I have decided to take a lodger. If you can find someone you are happy to share bathroom and kitchen with then it is well worth it. Remember you will lose single person discount on council tax and will also need decent insurance with public liability. I think it is the housing costs which make it such a worry.

Sorry to hear Jilly. A tricky situation but you will get through it.
One thing re your last post - really no need to feel guilty about the kids sorting themselves out as you are late home. Independence is a good thing, a very good thing for teenagers, and always being there when they get home from school/college is unrealistic for most parents. And I'm not sure it particularly benefits the kids. So really no need to feel guilty on that front.

Also have a look on Money Saving Expert for general budgeting tips and also regarding student loans. Many people don't have to pay them back because they don't meet the minimum income threshold- it's not like a debt around your neck, it's different to that - so don't let fear of a student loans limit your children's uni ambitions if they really want to go to uni.
And best of luck with everything- you sound like an amazing mum.

Can you jump ship to another publisher? Sometimes that’s the only way to get a pay rise. 30k seems very low for a content manager with your experience.

bluejelly - thanks, I sometimes think being a parent is one long guilt-trip, especially if you're a single parent! We'll see how it goes and I will look at MSE site. I use a budgeting sheet downloaded from there, which is excellent.

mimibunz- to be honest, I've had enough of it. As I get older i find I've lost my ambition, but to be honest, there is very little about in this field of work, that doesn't require web building skills etc, and I'm pretty old school. Something will turn up soon I hope :-)

I would look at your outgoings and do a proper budget

I think you said you earn £30k which is a reasonable wage, plus your self employed eBay business

Do you get another £800 per month on top of this?

I guess it depends what part of the country you live in and what your outgoings are as to whether it's a reasonable wage .

Maybe interesting reading for some?

www.majorfamilylaw.co.uk/freshers-fees-funding-maintenance-for-university-aged-children/

BritinUS: I'm ok for now, it's the future that is a worry. Basically, I hope to find work closer to home over the next couple of years, but would probably need to take a pay cut to do this... and with maintenance and everything else due to cease, it's worrying.

Annette: that does make interesting reading ... I thought it was the child that had to aaply for further support. Hopefully it won't come to that but it's good to know there is some support legally.

@AnnettePrice thanks for sharing that it's just what I have been looking for

Reading with interest about renting out a room or renting to foreign language students. I note that you can earn up to 7.5k tax free doing this. Does any one know if you can offset expenses against anything earned in excess of 7.5k? E.g. the loss in single person's council tax discount, food costs for feeding foreign language students etc.?

I believe that you can do very short lets (e.g. 1 month) for foreign language students so that might be something to consider for any one living in an area such as Oxford where there are likely to be lots of foreign language students. This could perhaps be done when the kids are away at uni?

Dreadful that so many of us are in this situation. I did recently read that getting married was the biggest financial risk for women!

thanks to whoever posted this link www.majorfamilylaw.co.uk/freshers-fees-funding-maintenance-for-university-aged-children/

its really helpful

Re: cutting down on your outgoings. This will obviously be easier when the kids have left but have you looked at Moneysavingexpert.com?

I basically started at the top of his list and then did every single thing that was relevant to me - changing bank accounts, credit cards, swapping utility companies, meal planning etc. It saved a fortune. When the children have moved out you will prob be better on a water meter if you haven't got one already.

My mum has done both foreign language students and lodgers despite living in a v small town and having just one bathroom.

On the mortgage, have you remortgaged? What rate are you on? I remortgage regularly to make sure I'm always on the lowest rate possible. If you are still paying the same rate as when you took out the mortgage, then you are overpaying. I only ever do this with my own bank and never pick the option that involves paying a fee so it doesn't cost me any money.

I know it is hard to let go of our children, because well, they are not less so the minute they finish their A levels than the week before, but the reality is that once they do and are 18, they ARE adults and shouldn't be expecting their parents to support them financially. Of course, it's nice to be able to do so IF you are can, but it's not our responsibility any longer. If they go to Uni, they will have to make their budget work, and they will have to accept that they might not be coming back to their previous home/bedroom.

In many ways, young adults struggle to move on because they are still considered as defenseless kids until they are past 25. My DD is 18 and will be off to Uni in September. She will be -cross fingers- studying Medicine so won't have much opportunities to work on the side, but she will still consider it. She's been working every week-end in a nursing home for 18 months, babysitting once a week and doing coaching during the holidays, so have started to earn quite a bit of money. She will be working all summer to save more for the following year.

I will be helping her, mainly because she'll get the minimum loan but she knows that she will have to contribute too.