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Original poster

Should my partner contribute more to holiday

95 replies

Kazarooney · 19/03/2018 07:50

My partner and I Don’t live together and are looking at booking our first holiday abroad we ve been together two years . I will be taking my DS I was looking at splitting the cost two thirds me one third partner but I cant afford this . I have two part time jobs but he still earns double what I do.

Partner has suggested we just go in U.K. if I can’t afford it .

Am I being unreasonable to expect that he should pay more as he earns more .

OP posts:

ArizonaLeone · 19/03/2018 20:02

Me and DP have separate accounts, and joint account for our savings and bills (works for us). He always pays for his daughter and we live together, own a house together and are expecting a baby of our own! I'm happy to pay for her but he won't let me. He likes knowing that he's taking care of her, not me. I do nice things with her like take her for girly dinners and paint her nails etc. I would pay for her to go on holiday in an instant if he needed me to but I don't think it is unreasonable that he expects you to pay.

Appuskidu · 19/03/2018 20:09

But also, if he's suggesting a cheaper trip rather than offering to pay more then he sounds like a jerk!

Or sensible!

CPtart · 19/03/2018 20:14

Your son's father should be contributing half his child's holiday cost, not your boyfriend. Does his dad pay maintenance? Does he ever take him for any length of time and you could go away?
He should be where your frustration is directed.

bellsbuss · 19/03/2018 20:15

Adult and child prices are the same now with most tour operators , I've noticed this the last 5 years unless you're lucky enough to get a free child place

TeeBee · 19/03/2018 20:36

Eh?? Mean?? Why is he mean? Why should he subsidise your holiday? I'm confused. Your finances are not his responsibility, it doesn't matter how much he earns. I would hate to think of someone else paying my share of anything.

xxhxx · 19/03/2018 22:07

Children generally cost the same as adults so it is a little unfair. We go away at least once a year and recently I paid £800 per adult and £750 for my 3yr old so there really isn't a huge difference. I'd work out adults & child prices and pay for myself and child.

TalkFastThinkSlow · 19/03/2018 22:14

Have you actually told him you can't afford to eat out every weekend?

Also, I don't think he's wrong in this scenario as you don't live together, and you don't have joint financial responsibilities.

19lottie82 · 19/03/2018 23:21

Tough one. He shouldn’t have to, no.

But you’re his partner, if things are serious (and based on the fact he’s the higher earner), I would hope he would want to contribute more. If he didn’t I don’t think I would see much of a future with him, sorry.

19lottie82 · 19/03/2018 23:24

Your son's father should be contributing half his child's holiday cost

What? Of course he shouldn’t (well unless he actually wants to that is!)

Why should his father pay for his son to go on holiday with his mums new fella? He can always take him on holiday himself. No way is he obliged to pay for half of his sons costa for this!

19lottie82 · 19/03/2018 23:24

Costa? Costs!

Cockmagic · 19/03/2018 23:31

Hi op

I've also been with partner 2 years. We had a holiday just the two of us last year, he paid for the lot, very generous.

This year we're going abroad with DD(9) , I will be paying £800 and DP £1400

He works full time,myself part time.

Could you get a free child place?

It's the only way we could afford the holiday we wanted (11 days, canaries, all inclusive)

I also agree a holiday in the UK if you're struggling with money.

We had a trip to flamingo land last year it was lovely.

AttheC0alFace · 20/03/2018 10:05

Why don't you try going out for days or 2 day break where you stay one or 2nights away. Get free voucher for child for zoo, theme park and see how sharing of the costs go

YellowMakesMeSmile · 20/03/2018 20:58

I think he's being sensible, you are only dating so should cover your own costs each. It's not his fault you made different lifestyle choices to him resulting in varying salaries.

I think it's a great test, if you say no to the uk holiday it shows you want his money not time with him but if you agree then it shows you as an equal and wanting to spend time together away.

StereophonicallyChallenged · 20/03/2018 21:09

I don’t live with my bf. He pays for holidays though, even when dc took a friend and dc are teenagers so not cheap.
He knows he could go away with certain friends and I’ve told him I’m happy for him to go too, but he’d rather go with me even though I’m eternally skint. He’s a keeper

Pannacott · 20/03/2018 23:02

I'm not warming to him from what you've said.

Say no, you want to spend the amount you've budgeted, that means 3-4 days abroad. Not a week in UK, that is not your preference. If he wants a week abroad, he can top up the holiday fund.

butterfly56 · 20/03/2018 23:26

Agree with Pannacott

YellowMakesMeSmile · 21/03/2018 07:15

He's quite happy to go in the UK though for a week so why should he have to top it up because he's male?

He's been sensitive to the OPs budget and suggested an alternative. They are only dating and the OP has a choice to work full time like him but doesn't.

I'd tell me son or daughter to run a mile if dating someone that saw them as a cashpoint.

Appuskidu · 21/03/2018 07:23

Say no, you want to spend the amount you've budgeted, that means 3-4 days abroad. Not a week in UK, that is not your preference

What if it’s not his preference?! Why does the OP’s ‘wants’ trump his?

snewsname · 21/03/2018 07:27

The obvious fair solution is a cheaper holiday that you can both afford. If a holiday abroad was important to him he would offer to pay. But tbh I think it does say something about his attitude to you all as a future family.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 21/03/2018 16:45

Also says a lot about the OPs attitude in expecting to be paid for them if he is being classed as mean.

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