Can I afford to be a SAHM

[maybebabyyes]

Hey

Husband and I have one child. I really don't want to go back to work and leave them in nursery or a childminders and I'm trying to crunch numbers to figure out if it's possible for me to stay home.

Husband earns 80,000 a year but our outgoings are quite high. Rent is 1200, bills are usually 400/500 a month and his travel card is a further 500.

How much do you think one income is enough for the other to stay home? Thanks in advance for any advice

That should be more than enough. We're managing on over half less than that and have a massive mortgage and car payment. If we earned that we'd be rich and bloody delighted!

Well you have options. His travel card indicates either he doesn’t work full time or he’s close to work. So move somewhere cheaper.

Also what about in future when your dcs go to school? What your dh? Is he happy for you to stay at home?

Of course. Lots of people live on a lot less. But inevitably moving to one salary means you will have less money and will have to cut some things that you are used to. It just depends if you are willing to cutback on those things or not. U need to write a budget of all the outgoings that you don’t want to cut out and see if you can pay everything on his salary.

So he takes home what, 4-4.5k a month? With those outgoings you'd have over £2000 a month leftover for spending/groceries etc. I think you'll be fine

We have less than half of that left a month for fuel/groceries/living and I'm aware that's more than many.

God yes thats loads

I am becoming a sahm and my dp earns a quarter of that

I agree Jenala that's a crazy amount of money, if we earned anywhere close to that I'd be beaming like a Cheshire Cat. I wouldn't know what to do with all that money. We have less in total before bills than what OP has to as spare cash!!

I'm so jealous. You are so lucky to have that kind of money

So, your rent and bills are £2200.
I don't know exactly how much it will be, but I am pretty certain the net monthly income of someone on £80K is a darn sight more than £2200.

Now, even allowing for food and some 'spending money', you are going to have WAY more income than outgoings, even if you have forgotten some bills.
Remember to allow all the money you might spend annually - holiday, TV licence, car tax, insurances, Christmas / Birthday spending, and some for replacing clothes now and then, but even so, on a purely financial basis you aren't really in 'struggling' category.

In terms of career, however, that is a different debate.

I don’t think you’ll be needing food bank vouchers

You need to do some arithmetic. What is DH’s monthly take home pay? Does he get an annual bonus?

OP only you know if it is possible. Depends on what sort of lifestyle you live.

If your OH is bringing in £4.5k per month obviously you're not going to starve. But you need to write down literally all of your outgoings, including if you have loans credit cards debts etc.

Is your OH happy to share money with you & for you to financially depend upon him?

What are your plans long term? Are you planning to stay home for a short time? Or until school starts? How does this leave you career wise? Would it benefit you to return to work part time even say 2 days per week to keep child costs down & for you to stay in work?

One more thing, why are you paying so much in rent (guessing South prices) are you planning to buy a property? If you stay home will you be able to afford to save for a deposit and get a large enough mortgage on one income?

Hope that helps

I think it's fairly obvious you can afford to be a SAHM for now.

You need to be thinking more along the lines of how does DP feel about being the sole earner? You say you rent, would you like to be able to save and buy somewhere? Are you both happy to compromise on eating out/luxury holidays etc.

FWIW my DH is on similar and I have gone down to very part time. My actual earnings are very inconsequential but keeping a hand in takes the pressure of us both should anything happen I have kept my contacts and skills relevant.

Thank you all for the replies

He is happy for me to look after baby as he isn't keen on nursery etc either in theory but in practice.. we shall see! We have talked about it and he says he would be fine 'sharing' his salary

I know it sounds a high salary, and it is. I'm not pleading poverty or trying to insinuate that we'll be on our knees, I'm just in a bit of a quandary now and trying to work things out in my head. I never thought I'd enjoy being with my baby so much so wanting to be a SAHM is a new idea to me. I don't have a career as such as I was planning on training before I fell pregnant so that's not an issue. I'm also hoping we will have more than one child

He works full time and commutes into London from our house in south east. We do hope to buy a house in future but have some savings.

Must be nice

Bear in mind being at home with a baby is very different to being at home with a toddler. I really didn't want to go back to work at all but now he's 20 months I'm SO glad I did - totally different ball game now.

As others have said, you can. The easiest way to trial this is to take your salary, put it in savings and see how you get on living only on his. Think about what you’d need to cut, and whether there’s anything there that you couldn’t/wouldn’t give up.

In your shoes though, I’d look to buy a house first.

Depends on so much!

That would not have been near enough for us but for others very much so.

Holidays / groceries / savings / future expectations (eg private schooling)

Hi @Wishingandwaiting why wouldn't it have been enough? Thanks

£80k?! I think you’ll be fine...

This is such a subjective question, those on less will always say wow that’s a lot, those on more will also say, no, that wouldn’t work for my lifestyle

You need to do some more work.

Firstly, do you intend to go back to work again ever?
How easy will that be?
Will there be a longer term financial impact when and if you try to get back into work?
How does your husband feel about the long term view?
What are your total bills? Food, clothes, socialising, etc.
Will there be a lifestyle change if you stop and how much of one
Have you both accepted that.
What are your plans to buy a house and save for it, will this change it?
Have you considered the impact on your pension if you stop contributing?
What will you do if you split up?
What will you do if your husband falls ill and is no longer earning.

Sure uou can survive on what you have, people do on much much less, but there is a bigger picture in terms of rhe lifestyle you both wish and the long term view taking into account all eventualities.

Depends on your lifestyle, it's hard to ask these sorts of questions on MN becauses there's a lot of jealousy. I'm not here to judge you just to answer your question! Whatever you earn you need to adjust your lifestyle to fit.

Have a think about buying a house - that really should be a high priority right now as you are wasting a lot on rent. Could you do this on the 1 income?

Do you have any large debts, credit cards etc? A couple of cars & a credit card can soon tot up to a grand.

Schooling - private or state?

Savings - will there be enough to save anything? Same with pension.

How long are you planning to stay home, a year? 2? Or long term?

Have you considered working part time or even casual work, just for your own sanity

Do you think your LO could benefit from even 1 day in nursery for the social/learning side & to get used to being away from you?

Just food for thought. I would write down all in & outgoings & see how much is left.

It's a lot about money but do also consider yourself, how you will feel being out of work. Some people embrace it & love it. Some hate it.

That's loads. It should be easy. We manage on about 30,000 and our mortgage is only a little less than your rent and our bills are more so prob equals about the same. We don't have any extras after everything's paid for but you should have plenty left for extras.

You can afford it. But it would be a short-sighted move especially when you don't even own a house. Why are you renting a house when your DH earns £80k per annum. And people saying they survive on quarter of that. Not without state help. Happy to be proved wrong.