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Original poster

Boyfriend charging me rent at a property he owns

255 replies

blueamanda · 20/03/2016 19:14

Hello everyone!

I'm in a bit of a dilemma... My bf has recently bought a flat, 95% of the money came from his parents, he doesn't have a mortgage and he took out a loan to cover the rest. The idea was that we'd move in together, but we haven't exactly discussed the details until now.

I was more then happy to share the bills and food costs with him from the get go, however he now wants to charge me rent as well, which would be half of my current rent. He calls this a non-specific contribution to the flat, this is not going to be a landlord tenant agreement. All this would be outlined in a living together agreement and he also wants me to sign a waiver saying I will have no claim on the property.

This ordeal has left a bitter taste for me, since I'd be contributing financially to the flat that isn't mine and I don't have the same protection a tenant does. I'm in a far more vulnerable position.

I would love to hear some advice and perspectives from anyone in a similar situation.

Also does anyone know if my bf is charging me rent is he legally obligated to pay tax on it? Would I be better off pushing for a landlord tenant agreement? I won't be renting a room from him, but sharing the bedroom.

Many thanks!

OP posts:
SoThatHappened · 21/03/2016 04:32

How can he take rent retrospectively out of your savings in the event you split up when he let you live rent free.

I think enforcing that legally would be fucked.

SarahUnderwood · 21/03/2016 07:12

I think the delayed rent in case of breakup idea, as everyone says, is a no-go. Too messy.
Cleanest solution is you pay him a fixed sum every month, probably half the loan until its paid off.
You're not married and are seeing what its like to live together, which is smart. You're earning presumably, as you're paying rent now. He's suggested half your current rent for what sounds like a much better 'fancy' place.
What's not to like about that arrangement?

And unless I'm missing something, its now OP not DP whos the one suggesting to pay rent into a separate account and return the money to DP in case of a breakup.

Ceeceecee · 21/03/2016 07:24

I don't think he loves you either. When I bought a house with my ex he had a huge deposit and I had nothing. We had an agreement in case of a split but when we went to sign it I realised that he was also protecting the property in the event of his death as he wanted to will it to his brother. We'd been together for four years and were planning to get married and have a child.

I knew then that it wasn't going to work but it felt too late to back out. We split two years later and he made a comment about the cheap 'rent' I'd paid.

In your case what would be fair is you paying into a savings account that you then put into your next house together. If you split, he'll still have his lovely home and you'll have a deposit.

Ceeceecee · 21/03/2016 07:27

twlbach you are pg with his baby and he wants to charge you rent? I'm shocked. Unless he had a lodger that he is getting rid of to make space for you there is no justification for that.

redskirt3 · 21/03/2016 07:27

My DP moved in with me to a house on which I have a mortgage. It would never have occurred to me to charge him rent because from my point of view we were a couple planning to rub along together. I did expect him to contribute of course, and he chose to do this by paying the grocery bills. I'm happy with this as it means I'm better off too. He also contributes more as able eg buying me wine, putting fuel in my car sometimes etc.

If you do end up paying rent, agree on an amount and and pay that - but the rest of your income is YOURS to spend or save as YOU see fit - you don't even have to tell him what you do with your own money.

DowntonDiva · 21/03/2016 07:28

£200 a month rent for a property in London (hope I've picked that up right) sounds like a good deal to me. How he has acquired the property and how he finances it seems to be what's causing your concern regarding rent.

I've seen so many friends (and myself with previous DP) get tied up in knots over shared living and costs when one partner owns the property.

I'd ask myself a few questions:

Are you worse off from living with him?
Will the financial arrangement cause detriment to your own financial/property plans?
Are you 100% in agreement what the contribution covers? Eg you pay him rent he doesn't expect you to contribute to repairs, new boiler etc?
Would you be better off living separately? Emotionally and financially?
If you were in his shoes what would you do?

Incredibly unromantic as it is its sensible to protect your own assets (and your DP to do the same) and ensure no one is dependent on one another (unless there are children involved).

If it were me, in London, I'd take the £200 rent, save the rest and forget about his money vs your money comparisons.

If you come to buy together in 3 years time it's likely he will want to protect his large deposit with a legal agreement (assuming he sells the property) and unless you can wrap your head around that is his asset to protect its going to cause you tremendous grief when that day comes.

SarahUnderwood · 21/03/2016 07:35

Imagine you owned the home so it was the other way around. If DP moved in with you for a year or two rent-free and then broke up with you, having saved up nicely for a property of his own thanks to your generousity, how would you feel?

DontCareHowIWantItNow · 21/03/2016 07:35

He is pretty well off, don't think he'll ever have any money worries.

I don't actually think that has a lot to do with it.

£200 a month is very very small amount for London.

I really don't see why you think you should pay nothing at all.

As pp have said also if I were his parents I'm not sure how I would feel about it either.

trollopolis · 21/03/2016 07:39

"In either scenario, even when I walk away with some savings after say 3 years I will still not be able to buy property on the London market (which is crazy)."

Then the best course of action is that you do not move in with him (he can have lodger if he needs to improve his cash flow) and you continue with your current plan that will permit you to buy in London within 3 years.

SarahUnderwood · 21/03/2016 07:41

If you don't mind me asking OP, how much is the property worth and is there a second bedroom?

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 21/03/2016 08:01

He's living rent free, I don't see why people think it's so shocking that you could live there rent free too. He's been GIVEN this property (bar a small loan), wanting to charge you rent to live there is crass. He wants to profit financially out of his girlfriend living with him...not my kind of bloke.

...and yes, I own my own mortgaged property and would NOT charge a boyfriend, who I wanted to live with me, rent. We might later choose to buy a different property together or he might choose to buy a rental property, but this is MY house and MY mortgage. This guy doesnt even have a mortgage, it's just utterly crass.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 21/03/2016 08:06

He's living rent free, he can save what he was paying on rent too. It's not like she'd be saving while he was struggling to pay a hefty mortgage, and even if he was, that would have been his choice. They aren't renting together or buying together. Sounds to me like he's asked to her to move in to make some cash, not because he loves her and wants her to live there with him.

SarahUnderwood · 21/03/2016 08:07

There was a mention of a high service charge I think which when it comes down to it is no different to rent as it as to be paid. In London this can be a small fortune.

And we don't know how much the loan is. Maybe the monthly repayments are a lot?

Chocolatteaddict1 · 21/03/2016 08:34

I totally agree with extrahot

Lighteningirll · 21/03/2016 08:46

I really don't see the problem you get cheap rent and a chance to save and to see if the relationship works out. Once living together and sharing bills see how finances evolve. My now dh paid me 'rent' plus half the bills when he moved in, he also signed a cohabitation agreement. He wasn't happy at the time but I and my solicitor felt it essential. ten years on we just share finances but that money still goes from his account to my account to the joint account because we've never changed it and because it's an acknowledgement that we live rent and mortgage free in a house I paid for. If he had refused to pay anything or sign an agreement 're the legal side it would have been a huge red flag.

DontCareHowIWantItNow · 21/03/2016 08:53

He wants to profit financially out of his girlfriend living with him...not my kind of bloke.

Could say OP wants to profit by living rent free.

Shutthatdoor · 21/03/2016 08:54

(bar a small loan)

You have no idea if the loan is small or not.

sooperdooper · 21/03/2016 08:55

I think £200 a month rent is peanuts and you'd be worse off living alone so it's a good deal

I assume he'll be responsible for upkeep - say the boiler breaks or the washing machine needs replacing? He'll have to cover those kind of expenses that you won't

Him having any share of your savings if you split is nonsense though!! I'd say no way to that, it's your safety net incase anything goes wrong do you have a deposit to rent a new place. Or if it all works out and you get married then it's joint money (although you wouldnt need a house deposit!)

suzannecaravaggio · 21/03/2016 08:55

Ideally in a relationship where you are life partners you are equals, that's difficult to achieve if one is far wealthier than the other
The rich person will always feel as if they are subsidising the poor one, the poor person feels beholden to the rich one

SarahUnderwood · 21/03/2016 09:00

I don't think there was ever a suggestion he have any access whatsoever to her savings but more that the £200 'rent money' roll up in a separate account and into their shared future if they stay together or to him down the road if they break up.
And in fact the last suggestion of this came from OP herself!!

sooperdooper · 21/03/2016 09:03

Ahhh, in which case that makes sense! I'd misunderstood - if it's the £200 a month going into savings that they then split if they break up u think that's a good solution & in effect the OP is paying only £100 a month if they split, and nothing if they don't

msrisotto · 21/03/2016 09:05

How long have you been together OP?

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 21/03/2016 09:10

If he took out an unsecured loan, as a self employed person, to cover 5% of the purchase price of a flat, I'm hazarding a guess it's not large, however, even If it is large, it's 5% of a flat, he has been GIVEN 95% of the flat. He will own 100% of the flat, not the OP. He will be paying it off whether she moves in or not.

Charging your girlfriend to live with you, when you have been GIVEN the property & it's not costing you any more for her to live there with you, is just crass.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 21/03/2016 09:12

sooper. No. She'd be putting £400 into savings, which he'd get half of. Either way he's gettng £200 per month.

SarahUnderwood · 21/03/2016 09:14

Well maybe OP could kindly enlighten us and then we don't have to speculate. What are the monthly repayments on the loan?