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Original poster

Drowning in debt and cannot talk to people in Real Life? A problem shared is a problem brought into perspective - come and join the lens.

996 replies

Ta1kinPeace · 10/09/2015 18:04

This thread is loosely linked to several previous ones on the same topic.

We live in a society that makes it horribly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
Everybody is welcome to share problems, ideas, solutions, but not be judgemental please

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help explain how
SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important things to remember are

  • yesterday is as past as the Crimean War
( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )
  • this is an anonymous forum
( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers and we are here day and night )
  • this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt
( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times, including getting those closest to you to recognise the changes needed )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it
The long term results for you, your partner, your children, and your friends and family are worth it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Badders123 · 18/02/2016 07:31

I may end up doing that.....I'm not convinced I'm going to like them Confused

Fluffycloudland77 · 18/02/2016 07:43

One of my relatives works for an optician, they say the lenses are bought in for 20p each.

Badders123 · 18/02/2016 08:16

My frames were only £20 (discontinued in sale)
That's basically just for the lenses...I do have a very complicated prescription, but still.....

LoneRangeress · 18/02/2016 12:36

Hi
Does anyone have any advice reguarding council tax debt

I just don't have the funds that have built up as I barely have enough to get by these days
We both work part time have 4 children and have a very very basic standard of living.
Stressed. Worried. Had enough.

I'm not sure why I'm posting as I'm pretty sure we are pretty screwed going off the bailiff letters we are receiving

Badders123 · 18/02/2016 13:00

Hi
I'm sorry to hear that
You may have more luck posting on the credit crunch part of the forum?
Some mners are very knowledgable about arrears
Have you contacted cab or stepchange?

TalkinPeace · 18/02/2016 13:38

Hi there lonerangeress
Have you spoke to the council? Do you have a payment plan in place?

What other debt do you have? What terms is it on?

If you have kids you are pretty safe from eviction by the council (as they would immediately have to rehouse you)

but you need to work out where the money is going and see what can be rescheduled.

throwingpebbles · 18/02/2016 22:51

lone I work for a council, not council tax but I know enough to want to really urge you to pick up the phone and speak to them! I know ours can do things like repayment plans etc. And if you are talking to them I think they can put a hold on the bailiffs letters. The worst thing you can do is ignore it and hope it goes away. Flowers

feekerry · 19/02/2016 19:10

Pay day was today. Total non event as decent budget in place Smile
Just after opinions re food/household budgets. Still something I am working on and struggle with as always go over. One reason is i set aside a monthly amount which doesn't work as sometimes 5 shops in a pay month so need to sort that. But secondly just not sure what is reasonable. I shop in asda online. Would love to do aldi/lidl etc but realistically I don't have time. Both are in my town but heaving and 2 toddlers to lug around so online is easier.
We are 2 adults, 2 toddlers and 2 cats. Younger dc still fully in nappies. We don't drink alcohol and eat quite basically. Is 80 a week reasonable or not enough? If I was uncapped it reaches over 100 a week.
What do others spend?

TalkinPeace · 19/02/2016 21:06

Food spending is so utterly personal.
THe main ways to save money on food are

  • PLAN, plan, plan : buy what you need for the meals you cook
  • avoid waste : food in the bin is money down the drain
  • try to eat out of the cupboards at least once a fortnight : to keep them tidy
  • avoid all takeaways, ready meals, impulse buys
beyond that its down to your choices
KinkyDorito · 22/02/2016 18:18

Still doing okay in my quest to stay away from the supermarket.

Health has been awful this year so really considering going PT at work. If I do this, must have some proper plans in place.

It's a good motivator for sticking to a budget though.

feekerry · 23/02/2016 16:06

Sorry if I have missed it elsewhere but does anyone use ynab and is it any good?? Esp for the uk as it looks very American!

TalkinPeace · 23/02/2016 16:40

feekerry
There are various YNAB threads around : many people swear by it.

kinky
The thing to consider is - how PT do you want to be ..... how much would you save by not going in every day
its likely to be more than you think

feekerry · 23/02/2016 19:06

Yep found some.
Don't have a desktop at the moment unfortunately so can't go with it. Never mind. Thanks

beckysales · 25/02/2016 16:22

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KinkyDorito · 25/02/2016 18:51

Talkin 4 days. I'm really struggling atm and feeling quite low about it all. I don't want to go PT, but I don't think I've got much choice. Finding it so hard going all the time Sad. I've fought to maintain my career through some very tough times, but it feels like it's going and with it will go expendable income.

TalkinPeace · 25/02/2016 22:33

The thing is kinky that if you drop your hours per week you are likely to increase the number of years you will be able to keep earning .....

Cindy34 · 26/02/2016 17:59

Kinky, are you in a job that can be done over more hours in a day... so could you do the same number of hours but do it over 4 days rather than 5? Could make childcare hard though. More work those days so less opportunity to spend. More time at home so time to do more cooking from scratch. Pros and cons and of course it may not be possible at all depending on your job.

KinkyDorito · 26/02/2016 19:31

I'm a teacher, Cindy, so unfortunately not. There isn't much flexibility. Not even sure if I will be able to do PT yet - it might not be possible.

I think I need to drop to 4 days for my health, as you say Talkin, but feel fed up about the whole thing. I've lost my way a bit. My identity still revolves around work. I need to make time to change this state of mind, whether PT or FT.

Gisla · 27/02/2016 21:48

Tentatively sticking my head around the door to say hello...

Kind of feeling like my head is about to explode whenever I think about the debt we are in. I added it all up on a spreadsheet. Shock I knew how much it was altogether already but to have it written down is something else.

We have cut back absolutely everything we can, and we are claiming everything we are entitled to claim. Debt repayments amount to over£600 a month but we are a one income family on nmw . Credit card debts are all on 0% interest offers so we can't miss a payment without screwing everything up. The pressure of this is immense. Sad I have a spreadsheet which says it can all be cleared in 6 years of we carry on as we are and somehow managed to not add to the debt .

KinkyDorito · 28/02/2016 08:48

Gisla Get onto Debt Free Wannabe on MoneySavingExpert and fill out a Statement of Affairs. They are amazing on there and will give you sound advice about what your options are. They are good at trimming back anything you might not think of yourself. It is really worth doing.

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

Stay here and chat too though. Can you Facebook sell anything? I like using FB as there are no charges and plenty of selling groups to use.

DeoGratias · 28/02/2016 12:20

(fee, is there a way another family member could take in your two cats as that would save you their cost. The children could still see the cats when they visited the relative who took them in. Things sound rather right).

TalkinPeace · 28/02/2016 17:56

gisla
first off - you are not alone
being UTTERLY honest with your debts is the first mahoosive and scary step
once that has been taken, the only way is up.
Get everything you can onto standing orders rather than direct debits

and then if your income really does not support an easy route out, join the frugaleers and credit crunchers as you'll be gobsmacked how much less you need to spend each month

this thread - and its predecessors - are deliberately non judgey
if you were daft in the past, so be it
yesterday is as past as the Crimean war
be strong
and keep talking to us
as discussing it is the fastest way to bring it under control

Gisla · 29/02/2016 13:25

Thanks everyone. I'll head over to money saving expert. One of the main issues I'm having at the moment is trying to get used to the 4 weekly payments after years of being paid monthly. Dh's wages are monthly but the child benefit, tax credits and housing benefit are all on different schedules.

Badders123 · 29/02/2016 18:47

Oh good grief
I got paid today
The princely sum of £32 for 5 weeks work Sad
I'm on an emergency tax code and obv its a month in hand except no one told me Angry
Grr
They have asked me to do more hours to 1-1 a boy with DS and I've said yes but I'm a bit down re the wages situation Sad
Hope it all sorts itself out by next month!

CookieDoughKid · 29/02/2016 21:52

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