Help needed (long and a bit complex)

[Ponyphysio]

Please bear with me, and forgive any typos as I'm on my phone.

6 years ago I relocated to help care for my Mum. As herself and my dad were about to buy some investment property, they purchased one which I then rented from them, pending the sale of my own property. My Mum and Dad subsequently separated, and in the same year I fell into a financial crisis following a long period off work (miscarriage at 18 weeks, major knee surgery and death of Mum following a massive stroke). The only way I could manage my debt was to contact Stepchange and enter into a DMP - which was both a great help and a huge weight off my mind. Fast forward to now, my Mum's will is finally sorted plus I have sold my house, so I now have around 140k in capital. However, my father wants me to pay him back the original purchase price of 175k, but the house is now only worth around 125k, plus he feels that I should sign back to him another small inheritance which he feels is rightfully his (worth about 35k). Because of the DMP, I don't think I'll get a mortgage, and I would rather die than tell him about my previous financial crisis, so where do I go from here?? Suggestions and solutions welcome. I hope this all makes sense.

How was the house left to you in your mother's will if he still owned it? I don't think you have to sign anything over to him if it was left to you. Were your parents divorced?

No real insight I'm afraid,but am trying to understand. Does he want you to buy the house that they bought and rented out to you? If so, do you want the house?

The house I live in didn't form part of Mums estate, it was other monies/investments that she left to me. There was however a savings account which he claimed had been his, hence wanting that 35k. They weren't divorced, no. And I know I don't HAVE to sign anything over, but I feel guilted into it as he has always been so generous with me.

Yes Bluecarrot, that's the house he wants me to buy. Yes I do want it, but I need ideas of how to raise the additional funds

Can you buy a different house with your 140k and move out of the house your Dad owns? I am assuming that he wants to sell you the house you are living in for 175k, which you can't afford and which it's not worth any more. Is that right?

Surely if you were to buy this house you should only pay the current market value. If you don't buy it and he sells to someone else they are not going to stump up an extra £50k. Any idea why the value of the property has decreased so much?

AppleAndBlackberry, yes that's its in a nutshell, but I could afford it if I don't sign over the additional 35k to him! Charliewolf - property in this area crashed enormously in 2009 and hasn't yet recovered.

So he wants you to buy a house that's worth 125k for 175k and then give him 35k? So really he wants 85k above the value of the house. Why? Why does he think he is owed this money?

Did you stop paying rent at any point whilst you were living there?

Can you offer him £125k + £35k = £160k? So meeting in the middle. It's absolutely not reasonable for him to ask the £175k and I can't believe any parent would do that to their child.

Tell him you have the £140k (I would go for a bit less in case of emergencies, like the boiler, say £135k) and that the rest you will pay him in instalments. I am sure you can get a lawyer to draw up a document stating something that proves you will pay him in stages until you have made the full £20k back.

If you are sure the 35k is his then I would offer him that plus the market value of the house. It's completely unreasonable of him to ask you for more than it's worth, it was his investment, not yours. Presumably though if they got divorced then that 35k formed part of the agreement and so was rightfully your mother's?

Thanks all for the input and support - I was starting to feel like I was the one who was being unreasonable. I have thought of offering a deal, but he is cantankerous and shouty, and I hate confrontation! I also, stupidly, worry about DS having no contact with his Grandad, even tho the same man shows feck all interest in him :(

Oh, and no I've never missed any rent and have actually spent around 10k on upgrading the property (cos I believed one day it would be mine)

The 35k was my mothers to leave - it was in her name. He feels that because she was a SAHM that she hadn't really earned it. He was obviously happy enough not to be higher rate tax on it for years though!

I get it, sorry being a bit dim. Is he struggling financially because if he has previously been very generous then this seems a little strange. I think he should keep hold of his property until (or if) it regains equity, and you should buy somewhere else.

I think I might be looking for another place if I were you. And keeping the 35k...

You need proper legal advice on this. You are talking about large enough amounts of money to make this worthwhile. If the money was "rightfully his" why did he not challenge before the will was sorted?

I don't think he's struggling financially, its more that he's pissed off that he was the businessman, yet mum managed to make a fortune on her own through wise investment. I also feel that his new ladyfriend is behind most of his demands. It was his long term relationship with her that caused my Mum (despite desperately poor health) to leave my father, and again the fact she had the bottle to do that gets right on his pip!

But yes, I need legal advice because its a lot of money. Ultimately its the difference between me working FT or PT and spending more time with DS

Just seen your update about your DM being SAHM. In that case I'd be inclined to say he can whistle for it! It sounds like he wants revenge on your DM rather than thinking about what he is consequently doing to his DD (I hope... that's being generous).

Would you feel happy about moving somewhere else? Unless you have a desperate connection to the house it might be worth starting looking? It would at least drive home to him that you are serious. If he really needs to sell the house he certainly won't get more than £125K and will probably have to wait a while, whereas you could buy it now.

Your mother left you that money - tell df he can whistle for it. Don't feel guilty about it. Offer him market value for the house and if it's not enough he can whistle for that too. Find a new place for you & ds, make new memories and know your mum is smiling at you for doing it.x

I don't understand why your dad feels he is entitled to anything - am I being a bit thick?

Who owns the investment property now?

I think I'd buy my own house cash if you can get what you need out of the 140k total, and he can do as he pleases with the investment property.

Why did the house not form part of her estate, was it jointly owned as joint tenants and therefore all passed to your dad?

If so the situation is actually very simple. Your DM left you money which was hers and not his and if she was still alive would still be hers. That money is therefore now yours.

The house is his. You rent it. If he wants to sell it then you can buy it if you like but you pay market price.

Tell him you can't afford it unless he sells it for market price in which case you'll buy it from him. If not then he sells it you move out and you buy somewhere else.

And are you still living in the investment property, which he wants you to buy off him for 50k above market value?

Hi, quick update. Had a long discussion with my dad, and have managed to get it all resolved amicably, and without either of us feeling we've lost out. Thank you so much to all who took the time to post, it really helped me find some clarity so I could deal with it all. Thank you and happy Christmas to you all