help about income support desperately needed!!!

[coco2303]

Hi, I went to the jobcentre today for an appointment. I have a 16 month old daughter and u am due another daughter in 4 weeks time. I have been on income support since March of this year.
Every time I have gone to the jobcentre fir their review on my income support I have always stated that me and my child's father are still together although not living together. He stays 2-3 nights a week but does cone to see his daughter regularly. This gas NEVER been an issue before.
So I am now extremely stressed as today I saw someone different and told them the EXACT same things that I have always told the previous person interviewing me and I have been told I am committing benefit fraud!!!!!!!
That although my partner us registered at a different address because we are 'together' and expecting another child he has to support us. But i cannot understand why this has never been an issue before and how he can be expected to be able to afford to run 2 households? ????
Basically they have signed me off income support from today without checking my partners income or anything.
Please tell me they have it wrong and I can appeal. I am very very stressed at the moment wondering how I am supposed to pay bills and buy food etc. And like u said this is the first time my partner staying a couple of nights a week or coming to see his child had been an issue. Thank you for reading xx

I'm afraid I agree with the benefit office. You are a family unit and are now having a second child together by I assume mutual consent. Can't see any reason why you should be classed as a single parent.

Ok- just to play devils advocate (and I have had cases like this)- couple are in a relationship and mum is pregnant. But the relationship to anyone close to the couple is clearly unhealthy and the mum would be better off well rid, except mum doesn't accept this due to lots of reasons. Are you all saying that we should have a benefits system that effectively forces couples who are already fraught, to have to live together for the sake a nominal amount?? Is it really worth the increase in cases of domestic violence/ emotional abuse and worst case, child abuse? Because that is the reality.

I have never classed myself as a single parent to anyone including benefit services. They have always been aware that he is in my life. And I had found our u was pregnant at 5 he first interview I went for for income support and I told them straight away it was the same father and that he pays £80 a month etc.
So as far as I was aware I was entitled to income support as they have always had that information.
I also no another mother who's partner is in the army and again she gas stated her and her partner are together, and he us home when on leave which gas sometimes been fir weeks and us home 90% of weekends. He also pats £200 maintenance a month.
So this is why I am confused they have now decided to stop my income support.

Op- you have maybe just got a horrible advisor in this occasion- they have a lot of power to make decisions and some of them can be extremely short sighted.

scarlett as someone else pointed out- this is a money thread not a relationship thread.

The OP has not alluded to any domestic violence/ emotional abuse.

Obviously that doesn't mean it's not the case but it's slightly far fetched to assume it to be the case.

There are people who abuse the benefit system.

So in effect couples who maintain two homes or when one of them works away then the other can claim benefit as a single parent. Not so.

You no he didn't even seem horrible but it was a different advisor I have saw on the last 2 occasions. And maybe the rules have changed but like I said I have been on income support not even a year and today was my third interview and this was the first time I have been told I was committing benefit fraud.

No- but all those who are saying that this type of situation should not be allowed, are missing the point. By changing the system to one where parents effectively have to live together in order to claim benefits, you are creating a huge problem down the line for those who are vulnerable. For many women you simply can't just say 'walk away'.

Isn't it likely that this has become an issue because, at 8 months pregnant, you clearly look like you are in a relationship.

Presumably on your previous 2 visits over the last year it wasn't obvious you were pregnant.

You haven't denied that you are with the father so surely you can see where they are coming from.

scarlett clearly there has to be support for those who need it but surely they should have to prove they need it rather than just assume it's a worst case scenario and allow the state to fund, what might be, their lifestyle choices.

If there are extenuating circumstances then the OP should get help, if there are not, her and her partner will have to accept their responsibilities.

Yes but they have saw my pregnancy notes as soon as I had them and the last time I went the advisor even asked how my pregnancy was going as she remembered I was high risk.
And yes I do see where they are coming from to a degree. But like I said my situation hasn't changed from day one of claiming income support so I don't understand why the decision has been changed now. Like I said my partner has of lying been working for 2 weeks and he isn't in consistent work at the moment.
my partner also pays rent and council tax on his home

Bear- that is a lovely idea in theory but job centre staff are not trained in the complex issues that a lot of those in need of benefits have. I am not talking about those who are on benefits for a short period of time due to bad luck, but the long term unemployed, where the unemployment is just a symptom of the many other things going on. You can only tighten up so much.

If there are extenuating circumstances then the OP should get help, if there are not, her and her partner will have to accept their responsibilities.

Bear in a situation where the man is refusing to 'accept his responsibilites' and point blank will not move in, make a joint tax credit claim or pay substantial support, (another fairly common situation, sadly) how do you expect the woman to feed herself and her DC if a sole claim is disallowed? How can she or the state force him to step up against his inclination? Or force her to stop hanging on hopefully in a distant, non cohabiting, 'relationship' in expectation that he will eventually be won over, grow used to fatherhood or whatever it is she is grimly waiting for?

my partner also pays rent and council tax on his home

OP if you can prove that, it will really help with an appeal.

If the op is living alone and her dp can prove he is maintaining his own household then surely she is a single parent? What about a new relationship, surely women who are claiming benefits shouldn't be made to live with sometime straight away just because they are claiming benefits?

My partner and I don't live together at the moment. We have a two year old and spend time together, we are even going on holiday together next year and he stays at mine sometimes. We both work though so there are no 'rules' for us. But I can see why sometimes living together is not the best option for every couple.

My partner already gas a child from a previous relationship also. She is 13, she was born when my partner and the child's mother were still in school. He is not s bad father but he has bonded better with our daughter as he is now older.
I don't want my children to miss out on their father as I feel his older daughter gas from neither parent bonding with her.
He sees his other daughter also but not as often.

And like most people I didn't get into a relationship to have children and live apart. But we don't live in an ideal world

sigh and this is part of the reason single mums on benefits get a bad name

arsenic I see what you are saying but I haven't read anything that insinuates that the DH is refusing to accept his responsibilities- he's just found a way to avoid accepting them- that's very different.

To be honest I don't even no what he will say when I say about him moving in. So maybe u are right and he is avoiding proper responsibility. I have always saw myself as the provider for my daughter as I have always worked until I had her. So it probably is my fault aswell and I should be more strict with him. I just don't see him as organised as myself in paying bills and looking after our daughter. I hate and very rarely leave her with him. Not that he will abuse her it's just a long story

Bear I'm not trying to guess what the OP's circs are, just, like Scarlett pointing out another scenario that cropped up frequently when I worked in this area.

Those of you assuming happy collusion are also doing so without evidence.

We just don't know at whose behest or instigation the situation has developed or that there aren't other concerns etc.

OP has taken quite a flaming based on one set of assumptions.

arsenic have you read the OP's last post?

It appears they've not really discussed moving in together.

She feels she should provide for her children- he's been happy to let her.

That's not abuse- it's coping out and allowing the system to provide for your family.

And my intention was never to let the system pay for my family. A suprise pregnancy prevented me from returning to work so being on benefits is only a 'meantime' solution. We lived together before for 2 years but after my stillborn daughter I moved out. Although we maintained a 'relationship' we haven't lived together since.

Coco am sorry for the loss of your daughter. You really don't need to explain yourself why you don't live with your dp.
Re the income support legally I don't understand the issue. I think they don't believe your dp does not live with you full time.

OP, regardless of your stated intentions, you have been letting the system pay for your family, and you've been in a relationship to boot.

I'm afraid it does sound like you are committing benefit fraud. Talk to the CAB on Monday and see if you can wiggle out of it - you need specialist advice. Acting the innocent won't help - the only thing that will get your cash reinstated and the authorities off your case is decent facts.

In the meantime, get DP (your partner) to face up to the thought of financing his numerous children.