help about income support desperately needed!!!

[coco2303]

Hi, I went to the jobcentre today for an appointment. I have a 16 month old daughter and u am due another daughter in 4 weeks time. I have been on income support since March of this year.
Every time I have gone to the jobcentre fir their review on my income support I have always stated that me and my child's father are still together although not living together. He stays 2-3 nights a week but does cone to see his daughter regularly. This gas NEVER been an issue before.
So I am now extremely stressed as today I saw someone different and told them the EXACT same things that I have always told the previous person interviewing me and I have been told I am committing benefit fraud!!!!!!!
That although my partner us registered at a different address because we are 'together' and expecting another child he has to support us. But i cannot understand why this has never been an issue before and how he can be expected to be able to afford to run 2 households? ????
Basically they have signed me off income support from today without checking my partners income or anything.
Please tell me they have it wrong and I can appeal. I am very very stressed at the moment wondering how I am supposed to pay bills and buy food etc. And like u said this is the first time my partner staying a couple of nights a week or coming to see his child had been an issue. Thank you for reading xx

Absolutely playing the system. It really pisses me off.

scarlett this isn't 'a partner' it's the father of both her children- one of which hasn't even been born yet- the OP cannot possible claim she is a lone parent.

Do you honestly believe it's morally right to play the system like this in order to maximise benefits when they have other choices?

It's not playing the system unless you know all the circumstances- which in this instance we don't! There may be very good reasons they don't live together, and bearing in mind the father has also been claiming benefits due to being unable to work, it really makes little odds.

And also, like I say, this is happening up and down the country, so isn't remotely unique. And in many cases that I work with, I certainly would not be advising the mother to let the partner move in, no matter how much 'extra' it costs in benefits.

As a properly single parent (no partner at all), i don't really agree with what you are doing but it's none of my business as to the ins and outs. I have found this link that might help you.
www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/money/benefits-and-livingtogether-html,177,FP.html

A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. She was claiming as a single parent while her partner of 6 years stayed only on weekends. She ended up pregnant to him again and housing benefit found out that he was staying over and cancelled her benefits. They ended up moving in together properly and she has never looked back. They are much better off as a couple because of the working tax credit they can claim on his wage.

Just because it's happening up and down the country- doesn't make it right- in fact it makes it worse.

The OP said the reason they don't live together is nothing more than it suits their relationship- it's that simple- that's not a very good reason to buck the system.

This isn't a boyfriend moving in- it's the father of 2 children FFS.

I can see the argument if the original relationship has broken down and it's a new partner (not the children's father) contemplating moving in but this is taking the piss.

Nobody commenting negatively (and completely inaccurately as regards benefits rules) knows why OP is not living with her BF. It is quite possible that HE is the one declining to move in or pay more than £80 pm in financial support. (God knows the state is useless at enforcing child support from unwilling 'men'.) So in that scenario, how on earth is a woman to manage on £80 pm plus child benefit?

She can't make joint claims with him if he is unwilling and not cohabiting with her anyway.

The benefits issue is only a tiny part of it. We only know what the OP is telling us. I work with vulnerable lone parents to get them back to work. I can honestly say that I have yet to meet one who is blatantly playing the system. Those with partners who they don't live with (and the parent of their child), often have a huge amount going on and living together really isn't a good idea, for a wide variety of reasons. So let's leave the morality out of it- it's not a black and white issue.

arsenic the OP said him not living with her 'suits their relationship'- I took that to be the only reason they don't.

Obviously if there's more of a back story then it's more complicated but on the facts in this thread they mutually choose not to live together and he pays some money when he has it and their relationship is very much in existence.

It does smack of having one's cake and eating it , on one or either side if not both . Unless you both get full HB I cannot see how you can be better off funding 2 homes already and it is perfectly right that DWP question from time to time whether you operate as a family unit . Maybe it will still be ok but even if you plan to return to work , if you haven't done so since at least March and are due another baby soon it probably won't be doing so for a while. Even if you are deemed a unit you may get some IS etc if your joint income is low and you have young children.

YY Scarlett

OP you don't need to explain the circumstances to us. Clearly nobody with a baby and a toddler would choose to live apart from the father without extremely good reasons.

I hope you get it sorted. Please get proper advice as soon as you can. I believe you could well win an appeal. The DWP 'living together' rules are complex though, and you need some trained help.

'Suits their relationship' could mean anything! That's my point- we don't know so therefore shouldn't judge. I have a pregnant mum at the moment who has a baby and is pregnant again and doesn't live with the partner. He isn't a bad guy or anything but she has mental health issues and other things going on and needs her space to deal with a previous relationship that was very bad and violent. I don't have any issue with her at all for claiming as a lone parent as I know the backstory.

arsenic the OP said him not living with her 'suits their relationship'- I took that to be the only reason they don't.

Really? I took it to mean that there is a backstory the OP doesn't want to share and perhaps feels sensitive about.

Which is fair enough.

The OP clearly doesn't have to explain her circumstances fully on here and as I said before, all she can do it tell the truth and see what that entitles her to.

It never has been financial reasons why we don't live together. When I had my daughter I was still classed as working and on maternity. I was ready to go back to work but found out I was pregnant again.
Although I resigned as I have been with the company for 6 years as a full time employee I am still able to reapply for my job after this baby is born.
I do not want to get into the ins and outs of the relationship but I do feel the need to defend myself that I am not and never intend to be a benefit cheat.
When I first went onto benefits it was the neighbourhood office who helped me apply to 'what I was entitled to' and even claiming for income support I have always been honest about my circumstances to them.

Jesus wept! He stays at yours 40% of the time. You have three children together, but the state needs to support you all.

Op- you are not doing anything wrong and don't have to explain yourself. You have been truthful so therefore haven't been committing fraud. Like I said previously- just appeal the decision and ask for a hardship payment. If they still are being difficult contact citizens advice or a lone parent charity.

So you won't get SMP nor ML if you aren't actually employed any longer. Are you officially classified as on a Career Break, with length of service protected, or can just reapply for a job when you are ready?

Mo I won't receive SMP or ML this time but I have a good relationship with my area manager who has said that I can reapply for a position back in the company.

And I suppose benefits are a touchy subject so I should have expected some backlash.
But no I don't want to get into every aspect of my life on here I just wanted some advice on the matter I posted about

From other threads I've read on other parenting forums, they tend to be very strict with this kind of thing when you are on Income support, people have been in trouble for their partner staying over even one night a week, so I'm not sure how you have got away with this for so long.

Advice agencies often advise in situations like this that the mother claims as a lone parent, especially if the man has an unreliable work history or works casually (as in the OP's situation).

I have been in this situation myself (as a teenage parent) and I told the advice agency that I didn't feel comfortable claiming as a lone parent, but they said its what I had to do to ensure a roof over our heads and a regular income.

I'm not in this situation myself anymore thankfully, but it makes sense financially to set it up this way because of the ridiculous amounts of paper work, not to mention sanctions to the DP's benefits, when he is in and out of work.

However, I thought the rules had been clarified and there is no '2-3 night a week' rule, but rather if the couple act like they are in a relationship, they are treated as such.

I don't think the OP has much chance of winning an appeal, but hopefully someone else can give some good advice.

Christ on a bike!

OP your other half needs to get his arse into gear and provide for his family. Ordinary working people are slogging their guts and rarely seeing their children so they can put food on the table.

Your situation is hopefully not allowed. I'm disgusted to be honest.