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Original poster

im so stupid and now im paying for it

92 replies

PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 19/09/2006 08:52

ive been coming on here for a few years now but i have changed my name for this as im so embarrassed. im 24 and still live at home and i dont have any children.

i originally came on here when i was having troubles with my mum who is an alcoholic. people on here really helped me when my mum was abusive etc.

anyway a few years ago i was going out with someone and i took out a loan as i was living at his half the week and home the rest. i coldnt afford to pay his family rent as well as my own plus food, living etc, plus other bits and pieces.

ive not had a bad life (compared to others on here) but ive found it a struggle. if im miserable or depressed my release is buying stuff. ive lost my best friend this year and split up with my ex at the end of last year. i dont have many friends so i just take myself off shopping. its the buzz i get when buying stuff.

no one knows about this but it has got to the stage now where i have no savings, no way of saving as i am paying out so much each month and hardly anything to live on

i know how stupid i have been and i am ashamed. i cant beleive i could be this stupid. i was awake at 4 this morn thinking about it all and if i went to CAB about debt consolidation would that mean the people i owed money to i.e. catalogues, credit card etc could come and take stuff ive bought or would i just be able to repay a lower amount each month.

im sick with worry and am hating myself for putting me in this situation. i cant talk to my family as they would just say it is my problem and to deal with it.

sorry this is so long

OP posts:
Uwila · 26/09/2006 10:01

I'm sorry, but you must call them and explain the situation. Just say "I'm sorry, I know I owe you this money. I'm trying my best, but all I can give you this month is £10". Then put those same words into a letter and send them each a £10 cheque.

Payplan will tell you that you will fair much better in negotiations if you have continueed to make tokem payments, no matter how small.

Uwila · 26/09/2006 10:05

If you don't mind, I'm going to ask you some questions about your income and debt. Feel free to say you don't want to answer, but I have an idea of the things Payplan will want from you.

1- How many creditors are there?
2- What is the total of the debt?
3- What is your disposable income? (your income minus rent, food, utilities, petrol, etc.)

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 10:12

there are 7 creditors, owe about £20,000 and at the mo making minimum payments on everything im left with about £200. which is for living, food and anything else i.e birthdays, etc.

i cannot save anything as there isnt anything to save

OP posts:
Uwila · 26/09/2006 10:44

How can youpossibly pay rent, buy food, and pay utilities on £200 per month? That just isn't possible in this country. Do you live with someone where you don't have to pay rent (i.e. parents, boyfriend)?

You can forget about a budget for things like birthdays and going out to eat. But, you should be left with enough to pay rent, heat the place, have a telephone, a tv license, and a placce to sleep in peace. It's not luxury, but it's better than where you are now.

What are the current minimum payments you are now making?

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 10:53

sorry imisunderstood. rent is taken out of the amount already, also car , petrol etc. im left with just under £200 for living and for food and emergencies. i could get by like this but it would be a struggle and as i would have no way of saving i wouldnt have a future to look towards

OP posts:
Uwila · 26/09/2006 10:59

So, how much do you currently pay towards the debt? And do you have a mortgage or are you renting?

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 11:02

i live with my dad but cant tell him anything about this as am too ashamed.

i currently pay £740 in debt a month. all minimum payments

then i have car, petrol, insurance, rent

OP posts:
Uwila · 26/09/2006 11:50

Well, I'm afraid you are going to have to swallow your pride and dig yourself out. It is no fun. I know. I've been there too. But, admitting the problem is better than feeding it.

There will be some aspects of this which don't appeal to you:
1- You will default on your debts/loans.
2- Your credit will be ruined for a few years (7 is it?)
3- Embarrassment -- sorry, you might as well confess to your Dad. Is there any chance he would help you and you could avoid defaulting?

If you absolutely can not make your minimum payments, can you get one single loan to pay off the rest (with less interest and possibly a lower monthly payment)?

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 11:56

i am trying to dig myself out. that was the purpose of this thread. i realise i need to do something which is why i was asking advice.

i can make payments at mo just not for years and years knowing i will have no savings. i cant live at home forever.

i really cnat tell my dad. its awkward situation

i dont really wanna take out more debt in order to clear it plus i doubt id get it

OP posts:
Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 11:56

i am trying to dig myself out. that was the purpose of this thread. i realise i need to do something which is why i was asking advice.

i can make payments at mo just not for years and years knowing i will have no savings. i cant live at home forever.

i really cnat tell my dad. its awkward situation

i dont really wanna take out more debt in order to clear it plus i doubt id get it

OP posts:
Uwila · 26/09/2006 12:02

Sorry, I'm not trying to be hard on you. But, these are the things that Payplan will say to you. If you are able to pay off your credit cards with monthly payments and not default on your existing debts, that is probably the best thing. Do you think this is possible? Is there a chance of your income going up in the next year or two (when these payments would be easier to make)?

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 12:05

no not really any chance of it going up.its quite well paid for what i do.

i appreciate your help, really i do. i will get sorted. i have to. i just need to see a light at the end of the tunnel as even if i were just to continue makeing minimum payments each month it would mean years before i even consider moving from home and i cannot face that

OP posts:
Piffle · 26/09/2006 12:12

Please take advice from a non profit helpline
By making min payments you are not improving your situation.
is there anyway you cna take an extra job, stacking shelves/bar work/cleaning/babysitting to try and set some against the capital
work out what has the highest interest rates and transfer to lower rates or 0% rates if its cards, this means you can make a dent on capital owed not just the interest.
I have been in the serious shit too
I did take out a high interest rate consolidation loan but I owned my house and had equity and my house value had risen and I knew I would be selling it in a few months time so it was a good short term option for me, but I doubt you'd get a loan of that amount unsecured and tbh I think paying off the maximum you can is the best option
Who have you spoken to so far?

CarolinaMoon · 26/09/2006 13:31

is there any way you can live without the car? Can you get public transport to work?

Agree with Piffle - if you can spend a few evenings and weekends working you will be knackered, but it will help you get out of debt faster and as a bonus, you'll have less temptation to shop (because you won't have the free time).

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 13:55

cant really do without car and my work is moving soon to a place that only 1 bus goes to and no stations nearby

tbh i work 8.30-5.30 and by the time i get home im knackered. also wouldnt i just end up paying more tax in the long run

OP posts:
CarolinaMoon · 26/09/2006 14:16

You would definitely end up with more money, even after tax.

when you say one bus, do you mean one an hour?

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 14:18

something like that yeah. its in the middle of nowehere so i could get up earlier to get to work but coming home would mean hanging around for over half hour in the dark in the middle of nowhere. have just thought of it and its actually 2 busses each way

OP posts:
Uwila · 26/09/2006 14:23

You might end up in a higher tax bracket, but you'd still take home something.

I can think of 3 options:
1- Increase your income
2- Reduce your outgoings
3- Default (which is probably the least desirable of the 3)

Every time you reach for your wallet, say to yourself "Do I actually NEED" whatever it is you are about to buy.

CarolinaMoon · 26/09/2006 14:36

how much is the car costing you (petrol +insurance)?

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 14:40

car about £100

OP posts:
Uwila · 26/09/2006 14:50

Don't forget maintenance, MOT, and Road Tax (which has just gone up thanks to Gordon Brown)

Uwila · 26/09/2006 14:52

How much interest are you paying? Are some of these debts extortionist credit cards?

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 14:56

Its an american express nectar card

OP posts:
CarolinaMoon · 26/09/2006 14:57

is it all on one card?

Hope you don't mind me asking this, but how have they let you borrow more than your annual salary on it?

Uwila · 26/09/2006 14:57

Is that your only credit card? What is the interest (you should be able to find this on a recent statement)?