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Original poster

im so stupid and now im paying for it

92 replies

PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 19/09/2006 08:52

ive been coming on here for a few years now but i have changed my name for this as im so embarrassed. im 24 and still live at home and i dont have any children.

i originally came on here when i was having troubles with my mum who is an alcoholic. people on here really helped me when my mum was abusive etc.

anyway a few years ago i was going out with someone and i took out a loan as i was living at his half the week and home the rest. i coldnt afford to pay his family rent as well as my own plus food, living etc, plus other bits and pieces.

ive not had a bad life (compared to others on here) but ive found it a struggle. if im miserable or depressed my release is buying stuff. ive lost my best friend this year and split up with my ex at the end of last year. i dont have many friends so i just take myself off shopping. its the buzz i get when buying stuff.

no one knows about this but it has got to the stage now where i have no savings, no way of saving as i am paying out so much each month and hardly anything to live on

i know how stupid i have been and i am ashamed. i cant beleive i could be this stupid. i was awake at 4 this morn thinking about it all and if i went to CAB about debt consolidation would that mean the people i owed money to i.e. catalogues, credit card etc could come and take stuff ive bought or would i just be able to repay a lower amount each month.

im sick with worry and am hating myself for putting me in this situation. i cant talk to my family as they would just say it is my problem and to deal with it.

sorry this is so long

OP posts:
thankyoupoppet · 25/09/2006 09:27

I had a freind who had a similar problem to you, she was addicted to spending and was so over generous, she would insist on buying things for all of her friends -meals out ect.

the reality was that we all knew she had a problem, although unaware on what scale, even though she didn't know we knew.

It was really hard but in the end she managed to really turn it around. With the help of a debt management service and a few friends, Amy (my friend) bacame a compulsive saver instead! she was obsessed with getting bargains and saving all she could it was great.

20k will seem like the earth to you right now but as you don't have kids yet, in the grand scheme of things it's not a fortune and totally pay-back-able.

really good luck to you. x

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 25/09/2006 09:30

thank you. that sort of sounds what im like. i always buy things for my friends and if they are down and stuff i buy stuff to try and cheer them up etc.

i just want my life back where i can see a light at the end of the tunnel

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sorrell · 25/09/2006 09:30

No, please don't use a commercial company. Slow down. You've taken years to get into this much debt, so don't get in a panic and think you have to leap at the first 'solution' that someone tries to sell you. See the CAB and look at your options first. Contact the voluntary organisations people have suggested on this thread. Then look at those options. Think about what is best for you. This is a long-term project. It might take you quite a few years to get debt-free.
And you need to tackle your spending habits too, which is very hard. It's a kind of addiction. Counselling would probably help. If you don't have children you could have evening or early morning appointments. You are only 24 and that's very young. You have lots of time to achieve the things you dream of.

UrsulatheSeaWitch · 25/09/2006 09:37

Go to CCCS straight away. They will deal with all your creditors for you, arrange for interest to stop dead and negotiate realistic monthly payments that will leave you enough to live on (more than you have now!) and IT WON'T COST YOU ANYTHING!!!!

You will be paying this off for a long time, and the details will stay on your record for years, but you won't need to worry about it any more. You won't be able to get any more credit either which has to be a good thing!

The website is here , read it and then ring them, they are great.

Good luck

CarolinaMoon · 25/09/2006 09:39

PleaseHelp, it looks like they do charge a fee , which gets added in to the IVA payments.

Please contact the Citizen's Advice Bureau, as Sorrell says, and see what your options are before you got down this route.

UrsulatheSeaWitch · 25/09/2006 09:42

This is from First Class Debt Solutions website:

They are paid out of the Arrangement. CCCS is free.

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 25/09/2006 09:43

its so confusing knowing which one to go for.

OP posts:
UrsulatheSeaWitch · 25/09/2006 09:47

CCCS is a charity designed to help people, First Class is a business designed to make profits....

CarolinaMoon · 25/09/2006 09:47

ok, try ringing CCCS, as Ursula says.

CAB you have to visit.

Good luck x

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 25/09/2006 09:51

How do I get an IVA?

The normal way to obtain an IVA is to approach an Insolvency Practitioner. The Insolvency Practitioner will act as "Nominee" until the IVA is formally approved and as "Supervisor" during the remaining term of the IVA. CCCS can recommend one who we know will be happy to discuss with you free of charge and whose standards of service have been approved by CCCS. Although the Insolvency Practitioner charges fees for setting up and managing the arrangement these will come from the amount(s) you agree is to be made available to the creditors. The only costs you will have to pay before an arrangement is set up are fees of £120 in obtaining the Interim Order.

this is from CCCS website so it looks like id have to pay £120 in set up fees which i just dont have

OP posts:
CarolinaMoon · 25/09/2006 09:55

but you don't even know now that you need an IVA - you may be able to sort it out with an informal arrangement with your creditors.

Please make the call and see what CCCS says.

and at least they've told you how much an IVA costs - FCDS haven't even done that...

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 25/09/2006 09:58

i will phone them at lunchtime

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UrsulatheSeaWitch · 25/09/2006 09:59

Talk to them first, pleasehelp - it's an 0800 number - you can tell them your situation and ask what you need to do next and if you need an IVA.

0800 138 1111

UrsulatheSeaWitch · 25/09/2006 10:03

Ah - they do a Debt Management Plan which is free.

I don't know if there's an upper limit on it though.

Let us know how you get on when you ring

Uwila · 25/09/2006 10:55

Please call payplan before you settle on an IVA, especially if the debt is only £20,000. Do you know that if you get an IVA, and you fail to make a payment, your creditors can make you bankrupt? If you get a debt management plan and still can't make a payment, it isn't the end of the world. And you can still go for an IVa if the debt management plan isn't manageable.

Payplan is very helpful. I know what I'm talking about. My husband and I have debt that equals our annual income. Even with the cost of childcare, we are managing to very slowly get back on our feet. And we are both in our mid/late thirties.

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 25/09/2006 11:26

so who would i be better off phoning cccs or payplan?

OP posts:
Uwila · 25/09/2006 11:32

Why don't you call them both, come back here and tell us what you found out, and then we'll help you decide who offered you the better deal.

Also, try loking up the Motley Fool. They have a chat board and you will probably get good free advice there.

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 25/09/2006 11:35

thanks for all your help. im still having sleepless nights but i just want to get this sorted. i feel like im taking the first step

OP posts:
Uwila · 25/09/2006 17:34

Have you called them yet?

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 08:42

morning. i phoned payplan and cccs. payplan said someone would phone me back..havent heard anything yet and cccs have arranged a telephone app for the end of oct. i spoke to FCDS and they have sent the info pack out and said that i dont get charged direct, it is in the money written off or somehing.
they said that if it go declined (i asked the quest) then they then refer me to CCCS. but as it stands thats not going to happen for another month plus they didnt explain things as well as FCDS.

OP posts:
Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 08:43

also CCCS said that i have to contact the people i owe money to which to be honest im not overly keen on doing

OP posts:
CarolinaMoon · 26/09/2006 08:46

PleaseHelp, I would be incredibly suspicious of the fact that FCDS won't tell you their fee. The fact that it's added in to the monthly payments doesn't mean you aren't paying it.

I'm sorry CCCS can't talk to you before the end of October.

Can you try calling one of your creditors each day if calling them all at once is too much?

Have you got a list of all of them and how much you owe them?

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 08:50

yes i have a list of them . its the fact i cant speak to anyone else about the problem for anothermonth which is going to get to me. im having sleepless nights and worrying constantly.

FCDS havent said i dont pay anything but that it is taken from the money written off and they get money from the creditors or something as it works in their favour to accept the iva instead of me going bankrupt and them getting less

OP posts:
CarolinaMoon · 26/09/2006 09:07

can you try calling the people Bugsy recommended - National Debtline -to see if they can deal with it sooner?

0808 808 4000 between the hours of 09:00-21:00 Monday - Friday or 09:30-13:00 on Saturday.
www.nationaldebtline.co.uk

Original poster
PleaseHelpIDontKnowWhatToDo · 26/09/2006 09:23

will have alook tonight as am at work now. thanks for caring
x

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