Debt support thread #2

[Nerfmother]

Here we are! Can't be bothered to think of an exciting title, sorry

Thanks Kinky.
Re tax bill - dhs will come to just over 3000 - can he pay the amount over 3000 and code in the rest?

Sooo, my bill for my active credit card came and I opened it excitedly because I knew it would be a zero balance (thanks ynab), and it is £3.74 in credit due to "cash back rewards"

Mine is £21 in credit due to the fact that they took the scheduled minimum payment after I had cleared the entire balance not sure how to even get the money back now!

Hope everyone is doing ok this week.

I went to my mum's this weekend. We started working what I had borrowed off her vs what I'd paid back. I started crying (a lot) and she wouldn't let it go. I ended up confiding in her what a mess I was in. It was very emotional for me but it felt so good that I have someone to confide in now.

It has put a lot of my worries aside, and I feel better knowing that if DP found out, I can go home with no questions asked. Mum apologised for not being able to yet pay it off but I told her I wouldn't want that anyway. It's just nice to have some moral support.

Finances are worse than I thought this month. nowhere near enough to cover rent, god knows what im going to do

I need DP to find a job, but it's really not that easy round here. currently crying into my pillow!

Ah winterlover :((

I hope things pick up soon. Have some and some ((()))

Pleased you have some support after.

Sounds like you need some Winter - is there anyone who you can speak to for help? At the very least, CAB might be able to get you some advice. It sounds really shitty. I hope your DH has some luck soon.

It's not easy for DP atm as he's swamped with depression after an accident. He doesn't mix with people well. Although something is going to have to change as I finish work in july so will have to sign on (major money drop) till my maternity allowance kicjs in mid aug.

Currently wandering round the house finding stuff to sell

Afterthought, have you had any more thoughts about telling dh? Would there be any benefit, or would it cause more problems ?
Winter, I'm so sorry it's tough right now. Is there anything dh could do on a part time basis - round here they always want people to leaflet drop. Boring but fresh air and exercise and no need to think?

Mum and I talked a lot about telling DP and she agreed that it would likely be disastrous. Currently, DP and I have no children and as such our finances are completely separate - I know some may find this odd but given my current circumstances I've never pushed it. We have however discussed what would happen should we have children. I always pay my way so at the moment it isn't affecting him. He knows about my student loan and I've hinted that I'm making over-payments on my student debt to clear it within a couple of years (I always use the term student debt rather than student loan as it feels less specific and more being economical with the truth rather than a complete lie). With the amount I'm paying on my student loan it will be clear within a couple of years anyway - the reason I've implied this is so he doesn't expect me to have loads in savings.

My mum is totally against lying (as am I generally) but understood why I'd told him what I had. My mum also watched me for 10 years go from one abusive relationship to another. I've now met DP who is nothing like previous models and she knows why I don't want to risk losing him (I should have thought about it when I met him, but he has so much and I was worried he wouldn't want to see me).

Don't get me wrong, I hate liars (my dad is one and I hate that part of him). The main reason I got on top of things was because I realised my behaviour around spending was like having an affair - home late due to shopping, feeling like I'm sneeking about, worried someone might see me at a shopping centre. I would hate for him to think that of me and I think it was that that was the turning point.

Just been reading some other threads about people being lied to by their partners about money. Whilst I'm not trying to justify myself and convince myself it is ok as I know it isn't, one thing I have never done is take a penny off DP. I will not have him contributing to my debt repayments, even if it is in an indirect way by, for example giving me subsidised living costs.

Afterthought, just giving you the space to think about it or share it, not pressuring you to do anything.
I can understand your reasoning.

As much as I LOVE ynab, it has made me feel like a big meanie today

Sister and hubby are over next week for a UK tour (live overseas) with my two tiny cute nieces and BIL has just had a big birthday. Plan is to go to cheapish theme park type place on Saturday with all the family (there are tons of us), some people travelling miles. Have budgeted entrance costs etc.

Been told today a table for dinner has been booked at cheap pub which will no doubt have deals on. Will be lovely to have fragmented family together, but I didn't know about this bit of the plan.

So I have spent all day looking at ynab and wondering which category to take the additional money from.

There is lots of money and in categories where I don't need to spend from for months, and I have a ton of marking and moderating money due in next 3 months - but I am resenting the unbudgeted spend on dinner - probably cost £30, £40 tops.

I do love ynab and I know I should "roll with the punches" and this is a bloody good reason to steal from my "kids expenses" category (for example - saving in there for Uniforms in August), or even from "holiday" where there is £600.

I feel so mean that I am almost resenting this rare get together so I can preserve my ynab categories.

Must get over it and enjoy the day...

I hate unexpected costs so that would annoy me too. I like the idea of YNAB though. Have just googled it - it says it costs $60 - does that seem about right?

afterthought It's about £37 I think? I don't use it.

ishe every single thing I'm asked to do at the moment makes me twitchy so I know exactly how you feel - I've got a family holiday booked with parents and Dsis' family at May. It is literally a couple of nights in their caravan (touring, not static). Accommodation will cost a bit - gone are the days of cheap camping, it is £84 for us for 3 nights - then meals out/activities on top. I've told them all I need to watch my spends, but I feel like a right stick in the mud, especially given that we outearn everyone else. It's awful to feel this way, but I know we will move on and that, in the scheme of things, it's not this kind of spending that has put us where we are.

TBH, I would take from holiday fund knowing you are getting the marking money, then put an extra £15 a month to repay it over next couple of months.

coming up to that time of month again where I need to pay everything and feel like ive not enough money already done a small calculation basically by paying my credit card and catalogue what I can pay not what they want ill have nothing till payday in way better that way but in a way not feeling low again cause of this
feel as though I can no longer afford this house due to all the bills and trying to get the £250 set aside for the rest of rent
got a meeting with council housing officer tomorrow to see what other options I have to get a house off them as right now im feeling stressed what with stuff not getting done with the house my dads not well plus money worries
want to cry right now but trying to hold it back as someones due round to house soon for a check on the heating cant open the door with tears streaming down my eyes lol

prob end up crying on this poor housing officer tomorrow hahaha xx

Afterthought - it is £29.99 on Steam and sometimes comes on sale.

First download the trial for 34 days to make sure you like it. Then you need to install steam (free) and put ynab in your wish list so you get an email if it goes on sale during your trial. Then when the ynab trial runs out (or before if a sale comes along) buy ynab, and copy the activation code from the steam version into your trial version. Then you can uninstall steam.

Not as complicated as it sounds!

Mitsi hope you manage to get something sorted.

Mum gave me some Easter money op half is for debt and half for fun (balancing dcs with debt). In the past I wouldn't have bothered too much about the money but we used out rail card, cereal packets and 241 vouchers for trains and then mcdonalds on the way home -

Just received a car repair bill of just over £200

On the positive side, I have £75 in my ynab car repairs pot. Pre-ynab I would have had nothing.

Another positive is that I now have an excuse to play with ynab.

Still a bit gutted though

And today is Friday! Hooray!