Debt support thread #2

[Nerfmother]

Here we are! Can't be bothered to think of an exciting title, sorry

Just done my top-up shop for this week - spent £21 in Aldi and £9.50 in Tesco. Although uit's lovely to have dh back from his school trip I know the shopping budget will notice! This week when he was away, everything I bought lasted the week and we have loads of cakey stuff (which I don't eat) still in the cupboards.
My car has cost me money again. It failed it's MOT this morning. I needed two new tyres and a wiper so cosy me £155! The only plus side is that we have a little money that we've put aside as the start of our savings so it doesn't sting as much.
Stupidly I feel really annoyed having to use the savings - I want to save it! I felt proud to actually have some savings for the first time and wanted it to stay where it was! However, this is the sort of thing we are saving for so at least it means we are bot going further into debt to pay for it. Onwards and upwards.

pixie 3 weeks time. Am not remotely ready, but it being the third I have slightly given up hope of ever being ready.

aleC4 how annoying about the car! But great that you had savings to pay for it.

I really want to grow a few veg again this year. We have no garden but a big (shady) back patio and some pots and reusable gro bags. Compost costs a bloody fortune though - don't know anyone with a stables and muck heap near us any more!

NSD today, which was nice and slightly unexpected

Cheap compost : talk to the people at your recycling centre and see whether they know of cheap outlets .... but do try to but peat free

and YYY to growing your own veg

my absolute top tip is to buy one of the 99p trays of living lettuce and divide it into 16 and pot them on ... the lettuces are the expensive ones like red oak and if you are careful, two 99p trays will keep you in fresh lettuce for the whole summer

pixie
5:2 is great and not eating two days a week definitely saves money !

possiblyorange you could grow potatoes in your pots. You don't need masses of compost initially - you top up gradually as the leaves appear.

Can't believe it's time to get in the greenhouse, how did that happen. Where will I find the time! I love growing runners, potatoes, cucumbers, toms, chard, radish - super easy and save a fortune :)

After the photo horror earlier in the week, have decided I have to make some time for exercise. Because I have fibro, I have to be careful about what I do and I get injured easily. I'm going to start swimming again - so, frustratingly, money spent yesterday on a costume and I have to decide the best way to pay for going. One session is £4.90, but I have got the option of taking a membership with a discount for about £30 a month. I don't want to pay for anything (), but can't see how I'm going to do it cheaper either way. The bottom line is I do need to do something. I will also be walking (free) and doing some pilates (free).

Who would have thought that 8 years ago I nearly became a pilates instructor, and now I look like a barrel with feet.

Hello all, interested in the growing things conversations, but we have fallen into the trap of adding things to the garden and then it dying or being pointless. I've decided that until we can afford to do it properly we need to just leave it alone and keep it safe and maintained.
Managed to pay the builder without adding to debt. Dh had to add expenses to the cc I'd overpaid but has promised that money will get put back on it once paid back by work.
So all sort of on track, we have paid bills out of money and debt apart from the expenses is slowly going down.

Nerf we are the same, full of good ideas for the garden but then don't have the time to look after it! Dh is determined to do at least potatoes this year and has earmarked a bed for it.
Dh updated the spreadsheet last night for February and we have now paid off 8% of the debt!! He also paid his last payment to his dad in February so that is £300 more we have a month. We have decided to put it all into the savings but actually £200 of it a month will go towards the debt. The first one we want to pay off is dh's cc that still charges interest. The balance is around £800 so we know it will take 4 months of the new money. Once we have the balance in full we will ring up and pay it off.

I've set up a standing order for my cc, it's only a tenner more than the min payment, but it's something. I'm going to ask my DH to do the same with his.

I'm saving what I can at the moment rather than payin off debts as we'll need everything we can until Juky when we both return to work after SMP. It's frustrating as I want to see some if the debts decrease but also know we have nothing in reserve should anything go wrong. Is this the right approach or should we pay off the cc and use those in an emergent?

I don't think there is a right/wrong way Blue,everyone's circumstances are different. But for me, having my emergency fund works...

kinky part of the reason this month's cc bill is so hideous is because we joined the gym - the annual fee worked out much better value than monthly payments, and I'm trying to run, swim and do pilates each week. I was a size 10 6 months ago, and now struggle to do my size 12 jeans up! I eat too much crap and need to address that too - see you on the 5:2 threads perhaps talkin!

We always spend money on the garden and everything dies, so am just sticking to rosemary and lavender this year.

I got a payslip in the post yesterday which gives me hope my client is doing a random pay run this month as it's nearly year end. Can't wait to check my account in the morning. My ebay sales are at £15 too woo bloody hoo.

Today will be spendy, but I knew that :D (hello unbudgeted for birthday/early mother's day celebration).

We did the Aldi main shop and Waitrose top up shop yesterday and have £15 left this week in cash (to mean £100 spent on food/nappies/toiletries/everything you can get in a supermarket) each week. Having looked at the Waitrose top up shop, I'm amending this from next week to 'if Aldi don't sell it, we can't have it'.

My plans for the garden this year are not extravagant - I want to refill the little raised herb bed in the garden (currently only has thyme in it, left. By previous resident) and do salad. We've done serious veg growing in the past but it does require a significant time commitment and I just don't have it in me this year.

themoneyone it's taken us about a year of Aldi/lidl, but we have reduced the Sainsburys top up from an average of about £30-40 a week to about £8-15, and it goes down every week. I rarely find in Lidl things like dried pulses, risotto rice and jumbo oats, so don't see me ever getting out of that, but would like to find somewhere cheap to bulk buy those things.

Blue I think whatever works for you is the 'right' answer. Previously I would have always hammered the debt, then put any unforeseen expenses back on it, get demoralised and start CC spending again, so I can definitely see that for us having an emergency fund (when we stop actually getting deeper into debt and can save one!) and just saying NO MORE on the CC will be the solution.

themoneyone thanks - I feel bad to commit to something when we are overstretched already, but I have to do something. Someone passed a comment at work - nothing bad intended, but I know it is time to get serious. I'm now a size 18 and have yo-yoed for years. I just want to start taking some regular exercise and I'm aiming for 3 meals a day with no snacks, and budget-style portion control. Swimming is good as it is low-impact and it's always been my sport, just a bugger that it is so expensive.

DH is half-way through constructing raised beds out of some pallets left behind when we had the bathroom done. We will be joining the growers!

We have made a net decrease in overall debt of 236 since feb. Sounds a bit cr*p but we also paid the builder and so that money could have gone in debt.
Told dh and he seems pleased.
Transferred cc to interest free balance transfer and am thrilled. 18 mths so am determined to get rid.

Good going nerf. Sounds like you're taking charge.

I've had a pretty good weekend. I haven't ordered anything on the internet - confession time - I am a secret shopper and I am ashamed of it. I think I have realised that I can't keep pulling things out and trying to pass them off as new, I am also fed up of having to drive to pick-up locations to get the orders.

I spent nothing yesterday, and £4.08 today as I went to visit my mum and stopped for a bite to eat en-route (I went to McDonald's rather than something expensive) .

In another step forward, I actually put on some of my 'nice' clothes today rather than the old crap I usually wear. It felt good :)

Thanks themoneyone, I do feel quite chirpy about it
Afterthought, I'm wearing a cute blazer just to go into town! Who'd a thought it! Well done x

afterthought it sounds like you're doing a brilliant job tackling the issues that have led to your debt. Are you finding it difficult to resist spending or is it getting easier for you?

Spendy day today with friends. Haven't checked the leftover cash and put it all in YNAB yet, but about £20 on entries and ice creams for the DCs. Luckily we took a picnic so not an expensive lunch or anything.

I think it is getting easier. I still want things but I keep saying to myself 'you can't explain it away so it will just sit in the wardrobe unused'. It is working for me at the moment.

Another confession - my debt is secret. Please don't judge me. It has to be this way. I live with DP and pay my way - our finances are separate (no children). If I stop spending I can pay it off in two years - it is my 'spends' that I am using to pay it off. I feel terrible about it. If I confess, I know it will be the end, but this way there is a chance that I will not lose the best thing that has ever happened to me (my debt is mostly from before I met him). Once the debt is paid, we can think about a family - I won't entertain the idea until my debt is paid as I'd feel like I was trapping him.

afterthought noone here is judgy, so don't worry about that. But why would it be the end for you and dp? Surely if the debt was from before you met, and you are paying it off yourself, he would understand? Especially if you can admit to him what you've admitted to us. It would make it more real for you too, so may help you stop slipping back again?

Afterthought, absolutely not a judgy place, hoping that continues through any future threads as well. I was terrified when I told dh, so much so he thought I was trying to confess to an affair.
Maybe as you get used to paying things back and more in control you might feel like you could share with dp?

I think maybe once I'm on top of it maybe I'll feel differently. He is totally the opposite to me with regards to money. I think maybe the shame of it is what stops me. I'm also worried that he'll think if I've lied about this (which in some ways I haven't lied, just not been honest if that makes sense) then what else would I lie about. I'd never have an affair but he isn't to know that. To me, the debt is a different issue as it doesn't actually 'hurt' someone if that makes sense (not in the same way an affair would). We also don't talk about money much - neither of us knows what the other earns (I know that probably sounds really odd, but it is just the way it works - I've probably never pressed the issue as I don't want him asking me! If we are planning a trip we always check if it is ok money wise but it is just a simple yes or no - although we have talked about how things would change if we have children and would have one 'pot').

That probably makes us seem really odd but we are actually very happy - 50/50 split with chores, similar interests etc.

afterthought
the point of this thread is to allow people to take control of their debt from where they are today
by definition there is no judgement about the daft decisions that resulted in the situation

as you may gather, I am no longer in debt (I was for over 10 years so DO understand) so know ways to turn the corner

this a good and supportive place

PS
Debt free gardening
look at the most expensive crops and grow them

spuds take LOADS of space to produce what will cost a fiver from a farm shop

whereas lettuce, tomatoes, basil, carrots, peas, rocket and other herbs are GOOD things to grow in even the smallest garden