Can we have a support thread for people who are massively in debt?

[Nerfmother]

Because you can't talk about it in real life? We owe 44k, reduced from 60k in a year. Not including mortgage.
It's so depressing.
Dh is determined to pay it off and so bankruptcy or plans isn't an option. I do think its doable, just hard hard hard.

Hello you lovely people. I came across this thread and feel inspired to take steps to get out of debt incurred over the last very bad 18 months. Do you have any tips for me in terms of priorities? The worst are the following:
10k overdraft
700 a month storage
13k credit card, 0pc ends in March
1.2k credit card bill (bank bounced it today)
1.3k fine for late tax return filing (still not filed)
It is all a bit overwhelming and i have 3 small DC so very very tired at the end of the day and it is all piling up massively.... Thank you

Hi Puffer everyone on this thread is lovely and very supportive

I would start with the tax bill. Try to file straight away and then you can ring them and they normally will allow you to pay in instalments. I had a similar situation a few years ago with my DH tax bill and we were able to pay monthly.
Then you can look at the rest and either tackle them one by one getting rid of the smaller ones for a 'quick win' to give you a boost or tackle the one which is costing you the most.
Good luck and facing up to it is the hardest part so now you have done that you can get started on sorting it out

Its becoming fairly obvious to me that I haven't really found "my" system yet. I have historically done what Nerf does and paid off any extra at the end of the month - but there very rarely IS any extra as if it is there then I can always find things to spend it on. I'm now trying Mum's way of doing it and paying a chunk at the beginning of the month, but it means that by the final two weeks of the month there is hardly anything to live on. Not sure where to go from here really!

I've just received my new CC so I've transferred some money off an existing card, worked out how much I need to pay off each month so it's cleared by the end if the 0%, set up the direct debit for that amount and have cut up the card so I cant use it for anything else. I'm feeling a little better as a result.

It's baby steps for me and realising that it's going to be a very long, hard road until it's all sorted.

Welcome Puffer123! Ellis advice re tax seems sensible approach (no personal experience, sorry)...TalkinPeace is more worldly on these things! Best advice I can give is get it all written down and start tracking it properly. Some links to great spreadsheets up thread! I'm doing highest interest rate first and throwing every penny I can at it.

Pixiestix...you'll find your way, it doesn't have to be same as someone else...every circumstance is different. Do proper budget that includes everything, that way you should run out half way through

Blue...baby steps rule!! I've finalised balance transfer today, CC1 cut up, CCs2 and 3 interest free til end 2014. Have £1621 still on CC1 but have challenged myself to repay that by end March ... Eeek!

Its all a learning curve isn't it. Its a bit like dieting - you have to learn entirely new behaviours for a permanent fix, there is no use doing a fad diet for a month and expecting all your problems to go away forever. Wish they bloody would though

Exactly right Pixie...it's all about attitude and finding 'your' way ...

Hi Puffer123
File the tax return. Right now. Do not wait another moment.
Then pay 10% of the tax bill by whatever means you can.
The penalties for not filing are utterly avoidable.
Once you have filed, the worst they can hit you with is interest, at much lower rates than credit cards.

Now.
Triage the debts.
Which one has the highest interest rate? : that is your priority.
Put all the other into hold mode :
Credit cards,
as I explained to Kinky and Foureyes cancel the direct debit and set up a standing order at last months figure on each and ignore them for the next few months.

Now, WTF have you got in storage that is costing you £700 a month?
I stored my whole house during building work for under £100 ....
Go to the unit.
Everything you could not unload into your house within a year SELL
ebay, freecycle, gumtree, facbook
but raise some cash by decluttering and cut that ridiculous bill down to size.

You listed the worst debts.
What are the rest?

Told you TiP was good!

Hello puffer, good advice from talkin.
Slightly p*ssed off as dh had allowed me to understand we would pay off his cc next , which was at 5900. It's now 100 more as he's put some expenses and dry cleaning in it. I'm so so cross and frustrated. I know I'm not perfect but I just feel so much like I need to be in control and I'm rally scared we will pay it off and he'll load it up again with 'essentials'. I'm actually tempted not to pay anything off, save up the balance and then say we'll pay it off if he closes the account.

Nerf, my DH is like that, to the extent I've actually cut up his cards and taken the details off paypal as a result. I'm not perfect by any means and take responsibility for our debts. But sometime ago he got a new credit card because it had 0% balance transfer to transfer a balance off another card. He had difficulty arranging it (fuck knows how) so gave up. Then over the next 12 months maxed that one out too I was beyond pissed off! I know he didn't do it maliciously, but it's a typical example of him sticking his head in the sand and not taking responsibility. As a result he's had to give up his hobby as we can no longer afford it.

Thank you all for the support, especially Talkin. You make a lot of sense. I have made an appointment with a man and van to help me to clear out the storage next week, it's an "easy/ quick" one to sort. And yes, it is a nutty amount, makes me feel sick to think what I have spent. What can I say? It's complicated/ was just meant to be a very short term stop gap solution, before everything then turned topsy turvy/ Central London/ it made sense at the time....

The tax return is more difficult. My papers are all over the place (I mean, I bought ten lever arch files in December and am only now starting to sort things into them...), my pc is antique, super slow and probably riddled with viruses, a real pain to fire up, let alone use. Also i am trying to look forward and tax returns are the past. And and and. I suspect I am finding excuses to put it off.... Right, I will try and find a cheap laptop tomorrow and keep sorting papers into files.

At the moment the overdraft is the biggie, I am maxed out and everything is bouncing. But from mid/ end march it will be the 13k cc. Should/ could i do another 0pc balance transfer somehow, 20k or so and take the worst of it off, do you think? I guess my credit rating is shot by now.

The others are bills - doctor, plumber, legal, etc. I think most of them will wait but god forbid i need to use them again soon...

Re the tax return, you don't need to keep sorting papers - start by listing all your sources of income and then try to find the paperwork showing the totals. Eg work - p45, p11d rental income - rent, agents fee, expenses etc.

Evening all...and it's a snowy one! Packed lunches and dinner from freezer/cupboards contents today...£7 for DS haircut was only spend. Will need milk and bread tomorrow...but that should be me til Friday so on track to have excess food budget to pay towards CC1 come Sunday evening

Nerfmother, i like that - targeted searching! Will make some coffee and have a go right now.

Had a look at your last post btw - i am the last person to give advice at the moment but saving up sounds like a good idea. Though you might pay extra interest compared to paying of parts, it's training for your DH - and education is always an investment

Hi puffer, and remember you can use estimates if you have a good reason or think you might know them shortly.
I've sort of given up the financial sensible stuff - highest rate first etc, I think this is a psychological battle. So yes, even if we save up half and pay it, I think that might work better than small amounts that are easily put back on.

Yes I can see that psychological battle point! Wise words.

Did not know about estimates - but probably not applicable here - the tax return is for two years ago... And I haven't a clue now about expenses etc back then. It is like my brain is whitewashed (or that is my excuse ...). So will also need to dig out bank statements and cheque books for that period to get the picture again. Bother.

Thank you for the support by the way - i really appreciate it.

That sounds very, very stressful Puffer. I hope you can make some headway with it.

Nerf can you save up say £1000 at a time, pay that off and then reduce the card limit accordingly so he can't spend any more on it? That would work for me.

Hello pixie - yes I think that's the plan now , not that 1000 is easy to save up! But I think dh works like that - it all seems so hopeless, reducing things by 25 here and there that a larger sun every so often will be meaningful, and we won't want to undo that.
Tax returns, Urgh. Do you have any maths to do (rental income) or is it all just figures to be found. Remember you can use the march payslip in place of a p45 if you've lost it.

Yes a tiny bit of maths to do as well, but I have used tax calc in the past and if i have 1. all the docs to hand, 2. an up to date version of tax calc, and 3. a basically functioning pc (!), then it is easy. The slog is always getting the docs together. Thanks to your inspiration, I have just managed to open(!) and file cram into files in no order the last batch of unopened post, even found a p60, hurrah, but it is all quite recent, so am hoping the previous batch is somewhere i will find soon.... I have pc issues this time round too. I am a joke and now the baby has just woken.... No more from me tonight. Still, this is real progress! Thx

I always find, with tax forms, the worst part is getting all the paper work together. I've now got a box I just chuck anything tax related into, so when It does come around I don't end up having to ring around and chase up bits of paperwork I can't find.

Yes bluedog that worked for me in the past and i will do it again as well. I have just had so much else to worry about. What is really annoying is that am probably due a tax refund, but the fine will eat into it massively/swallow it up. Anyway, this is now my priority!

Does anyone know about balance transfers? Very conscious of the 13k cc 0pc rate expiring soon (and that card was the first time i did this, am a newbie). I really want to take the pressure off so i can concentrate on getting some income again to start paying it off.

Thank you all so much.

Hello ladies, please can I join you? Have been reading your lovely supportive thread with interest.
We have debt as follow -
1500 overdraft
2000 cc1
5000 cc2
Mortgage obviously! That is currently at 28 years and do and I are 40 and 42 eek!
We did owe the olds 2500 but bless them, they have written that off as we had paid back 2500 already.

Most of ours has come from moving house to a doer upper, pulling the funds together to ensure we stayed on a low interest mortgage. We had been slowly paying it off, but have been hit with horrific vet bills and a new car in recent months, so it's crept up again. We are waiting for our boiler to pop, but hopefully we can't think of any other major expenses now and can focus on paying our devt down.
I love the idea of the £500 emergency fund, dp would feel happy with that I think.

He's not really a big help with the finances - he goes out and earns the money and does lots of whinging but doesn't take an active part in the management of it day to day :(

We have been together 10 years so you'd think I would be used to it by now, but he gets paid weekly and I just cannot work with it - historically I have been a 'bills paid on the 1st p the month and live on the rest' gal, and we've never managed to get ahead of ourselves with enough in the bank to implement that, if that makes sense!

It's very cathartic writin it down isn't it, sorry for the long post!