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Original poster

Can we have a support thread for people who are massively in debt?

999 replies

Nerfmother · 16/01/2014 18:46

Because you can't talk about it in real life? We owe 44k, reduced from 60k in a year. Not including mortgage.
It's so depressing.
Dh is determined to pay it off and so bankruptcy or plans isn't an option. I do think its doable, just hard hard hard.

OP posts:
KinkyDorito · 10/02/2014 12:19

Hoping to join you all on what will be a very long crusade against debt here.

I did MSE a few years ago and paid down a lot of money, but when DD got cancer I cultivated a sod-it attitude and now am back where we started.

I need to get a grip. I can afford the payments, but we have nothing saved and no security. I would like some choices in my life, which I feel we can't have whilst we owe so much money. Plus, it's bloody annoying to work the hours we both do for what feels like very little return.

TalkinPeace · 10/02/2014 13:56

FoureyedFox annd KinkyDorito
Well done for admitting that the problem has to be dealt with, not just kicked on down the road.

First things first : on AL of your credit card debts, change the direct debit to a standing order equal to this months payment rounded up to the nearest fiver.

If you plug your numbers into my spreadsheets (either up thread or find their thread) you'll see that debt free day immediately moves ten years sooner through almost no effort on your part.

Foureyedfox · 10/02/2014 14:02

mum I know what you mean about becoming obsessed. I actually think of my balance now as money rather than just numbers, if that makes sense?! I have now got a 'cash' account which just has £ in for day-to-day spends, petrol, food etc and I've been getting a (saddo) thrill by seeing it pretty much stay the same. It's so much easier not to spend when I meal plan and buy plenty milk etc.
I've been challenging myself to do lots of 'free' things too.
We've got to pay some biggie utility & council tax payments the next couple of months and I think what I'll try to do is carry on with min payments and chuck money saved over each month against clearing one at a time. What do you think? On one card my interest is as much as my min payment!! That's fab nerf I have no emergency fund:(
kazza it's shit isn't it? My DH is an ostrich too. I hope things get better for you..you're tackling the situation so that's good. You'll get there, every little saving and non spend is a step in the right direction. Have you tried the charity Stepchange? We haven't gone with the Debt management plan yet, but they were great and worked everything out with us over the phone. Was v hard facing it all, but glad now we did.
We're also doing the money course by CAP which is free and has been really helpful. I'm trying the 'cash only' approach, and I'm surprised what a difference it makes to "invisible" spending on my debit card.

Foureyedfox · 10/02/2014 14:10

Hi talkin great advice, will have a look at that! 10 yrs, wow!
kinky Hello! It's totally understandable about the 'sod it' attitude and i know what you mean about working for paying off debts... So pissed off for being so crap and unable to see the bigger, later, poorer picture!!

ChubbyKitty · 10/02/2014 14:51

Sometimes work seems incredibly futile!

Had to ask my dad to help with food shopping yesterday BlushSad so humiliating I can't even buy a pint of milk!

Mum2Fergus · 10/02/2014 15:16

Welcome KinkyDorito Smile

Foureyedfox,sounds like a plan...what's working better for me is having everything budgeted for and paying a lump sum on payday, rather than paying over what I have left at end of the month. Now granted, I've only taken this approach since start of the year but it's made a real difference. Normally Id be minimum payment then what I had left...January, I paid £500 on pay day then the balance of my food budget every week. Ended up repaying just short of £600...and in all honest, I didn't miss having it to spend through the month...

Mum2Fergus · 10/02/2014 15:30

Why does pound sign never show properly on here lol...

Foureyedfox · 10/02/2014 15:54

mum Do you mean working out what you've got left after paying DD's/bills, budgeting for all other monthly spends then transferring over the remainder straight onto debts? What do you mean re: food budget balance? (Sorry if being a thicko!)

Mum2Fergus · 10/02/2014 16:08

Yes, I budget for everything, including annual things ie car tax etc...put money in the acs (food ac and an 'envelopes' ac for everything else-it's actually just your bog standard online ac and I keep track of the various budget lines on a spreadsheet) and manage on whatever I have left. Food budget for DP, DS and I is £70pw but anything I have remaining on Sunday night I pay to the CC.

I'm getting better at meal plans so have been able to put as much as £40 over sometimes (ie food bill for week was only £30)...so thinking food budget will be going down to £50pw sometime soon Smile

TalkinPeace · 10/02/2014 16:12

Foureyed
On my spreadsheets thread there is a weekly budgeting one that you are welcome to download and play with

the categories will prompt you to think strategically as well as tactically.

Have you changed those DDs into SOs yet Wink

Foureyedfox · 10/02/2014 16:53

Thanks mum and talking
The way I'm doing it at the mo (ha well since a few wks ago!) is have enough for all DD's/SO's/utilities in one account, transfer remainder for 'cash account' the idea being to draw a set (budgeted) amount out weekly to live off. Also intend to have a savings account for hols etc, but first need to bust some debt. Although would be nice to have birthday and Christmas savings. Anyone do this?

Not done the SO swap yet:) ... Does it have to be a SO or can I just change the amount on my DD?

Mum2Fergus · 10/02/2014 17:07

Spendy day today...45.33 on petrol (budgeted for) and 26 from this weeks food budget for a meat pack from local farm shop which will make approx 18 meals over course of the month Smile

Mum2Fergus · 10/02/2014 17:15

I've budgeted birthdays over the year, divide by 12 and put monthly equivalent to 'envelopes' ac...Christmas is taken care of by a flexible benefit arrangement on work. A set amount is deducted from salary every month then can opt for when I get it, a ménage type thing...I take my lump sum in Dec.

Foureyedfox · 10/02/2014 17:25

Thanks for that mum I need to do this re: birthdays/occasions. Just find it hard to decide how much to budget! Need to write a list of who we buy for and what's ok to spend.

Mum2Fergus · 10/02/2014 17:47

I say £10 for each of DS close chums, adults are a card only unless it's a special birthday. I bulk buy cards when I see any offers,and get toys when they're 3 for 2 etc...

TalkinPeace · 10/02/2014 18:07

Foureyed
You cannot alter the amount on a direct debit, the bank are in total control of it and do not like my method as it cuts into their profit.

The advantage of a standing order is that its controlled entirely from your end, set amount, set date, chopping away at that debt with no more effort and stress (so long as you stop spending on the card)

If you are brave enough, you can just pay an amount by FPS each month, but it must be more than the minimum and it _must go through on time.

Original poster
Nerfmother · 10/02/2014 19:00

Hello Doritos!
Today I have decided to look at all the birthdays coming this year (godchildren) and put a voucher in a card with a stamp ready to go.
I think mums way of paying at the start of the month probably works better but for me paying at the end feels better for some reason. We have 500 that I should be able to pay off, but leaving it there makes me less resentful!

OP posts:
Mum2Fergus · 10/02/2014 19:11

Absolutely do what fits you and your situation best Nerf Smile the thing with debt, and it's elimination is that there isn't a one size fits all solution. I did same as you up until end of 2013 but felt I needed to focus myself just that wee bit more.

Sooo,CC3 arrived today and have done balance transfer from CC1...will be left with approx £1.5k to pay CC1 in total and hope to do that by end of March. Following which I'll be left with CCs 1 and 2, both on 0% interest, personal loan and mortgage. Ridding myself of CC1 is first goal to tackle though Smile

Mum2Fergus · 10/02/2014 19:12

Sorry, will be left with CCs 2and 3...

KinkyDorito · 10/02/2014 19:50

I'm snowballing, (well, when I start I will be), so throw everything at highest interest debt first. I daren't do a fixed standing order because I live in fear that something will come up.

If you do the standing order thing, do you already have an emergency fund?

Mum2Fergus · 10/02/2014 20:01

Yes KinkyDorito...I pay fixed DD every month but have £500 contingency fund too.

TalkinPeace · 10/02/2014 20:10

kinky
you can stop a standing order or change the amount at ANY time : you are in control - go to your online banking and have a look.

Original poster
Nerfmother · 10/02/2014 20:51

Talkin, you are really good at the technical stuff! It's so useful having you pop up and explain things Smile

OP posts:
TalkinPeace · 10/02/2014 20:53

HTH :
I'm an accountant - trying to keep my clients out of debt is part of my day job - as otherwise I do not get paid !

ChubbyKitty · 10/02/2014 21:48

Foureyedfox that's the same thing in aiming for, taking out a small amount once a week for my spending money and they rest being safely kept in the bank (preferably with the card at home..)

I'm more confident about it becoming reality because of this thread because I don't want to let anyone down! Whereas before I would have only been letting myself down and I wasn't too bothered. Now I'm determined to pay off as much as I can as soon as I can.

Weekly budgeting will be a ton easier if I get that factory job too.

Also my personal account, I've forgotten the pin for so if I need cash from it I have to transfer it and wait for it to come through into the other one, I have to say it cuts down on my spending..