Can we have a support thread for people who are massively in debt?

[Nerfmother]

Because you can't talk about it in real life? We owe 44k, reduced from 60k in a year. Not including mortgage.
It's so depressing.
Dh is determined to pay it off and so bankruptcy or plans isn't an option. I do think its doable, just hard hard hard.

Hi Atticus, congrats on the degree
I'm going keep checking in every month to report back on any decrease or amazing advances!
Ferret I know what you mean about attitude. Dh spent his bonus on double glazing. Really, we should have soldiered on in the cold, and this year he paid off a card. It's a big change in thinking and dropping the sense if entitlement for me/us.

Morning all...
SlummyMummy-sorry to hear about your ill-health. I'm extremely fortunate that both DP and I work fulltime in jobs that, once upon a time,would have been 'jobs for life'...but I don't think there is any such thing any more

Atticus-well done on your degree! Fingers crossed for you on your job hunt I'm doing envelopes from January too. My current system has been working ok but hopefully the envelopes will help me focus more.

Ferret-are you needing to review current budget if it's leaving you short each month? Throw some figures at us, maybe we can help...

Christmastime always knocks us out of whack. Both my children born in December plus 6 other birthdays in that month, along with all the little nights out that everyone invites you to. I find it very hard to save for that time of year, something always comes up. Like the turbo in DH's car went fucked and my car also died a death and needed replacing so we're still trying to get on top of that.

Next month we'll be back in sync. Plus it's coming up to Valentine's and Mother's Day so i'll be needed in work more often!

I did post, but it seems lost!
Ferret we have three christmas birthdays and this year I have said enough! No parties this year
.

Last year we said 25 quid max on a present and it was fine.

We can do this! Lots of great positive stories already on the thread .

Weird Nerf...I did a post at lunchtime and it's missing too! I have a bonus thing in work that I can take monthly or save it up and take annually. I take it in Dec so Christmas is covered

How brilliant fergus, what a good idea.
Weird missing post syndrome.

Can I join in? We have approx 28k debt due to time out of work (dh has had bad luck with jobs, made redundant three times in last 13 years and ended up doing contract work with unpaid gaps in between, was too proud to claim jsa or anything) plus a huge mortgage. Eighteen months ago had to admit we couldn't keep up the repayments and agreed low repayments and charges/interest frozen on most loans/cards. Now dh has been out of work again for over 6 months so we are only paying £1 per month to each for now. Our credit rating is ruined

We will need to sell the house and hopefully pay our debt off, but can't do this until dh is working, as without a job we won't be able to rent. We also have 2 cats and a dog, so not sure anyone will take us

If we can't sell the house we will have to start a dmp as I can't cope with the stress of writing to these companies and their snooty replies any more.

Dh reluctant to discuss at all, which doesn't help. I have done all the letters mostly alone, although have been ensuring he helps by reading through the letters and helping me when I'm stuck on how to word the letters. He doesn't want to discuss selling up or renting etc. I don't know why. He clams up when I try to talk about it!

Good to hear that people have managed to pay off their debts. I am interested in what debt management companies you have used.

Hi kazza, I'm kind of hoping this will be a little refuge where you don't need to feel bad about how you got into debt, so don't feel you have to explain it all; in so sorry you're having a rough time with your dh finding work. Mine has also left it to me to sort it out, which is a bit pressured.

Lone debt buster here too! DP openly admits he is rubbish with money so happily leaves it all to me...I'm now sufficiently organised though that it just ticks along so don't stress about it. We sit monthly just before I get paid to look at whats whats to keep our eyes on the game.

I'm due to be paid on Monday so chat will be tomorrow ...

Thank you nerfmother I'm so stressed about the whole thing and can't see a way of sorting it at the moment. I work 3.5 days per week, no chance to increase my hours. I've looked at doing some cleaning or similar, but tbh feel I am close to a breakdown and unable to do much more right now. I'm considering talking to my gp, but don't think ADs are the answer and therapy is on a day I work and I can't change my days (fairly new job), so not sure they can offer any help.

Our creditors are all accepting lower payments at present. It's just the worry and constantly thinking things through in the night, trying to work out the best way to handle things

What is it with these men that are rubbish with money and leave their wives to cope?!

I thought I would just chime in with a positive story

A little over a year ago myself and DH were in a awful situation. Owing £20k+ plus mortgage. I was on maternity allowance and we barely had about £100 for food petrol and other bits after bills each month. It was stressful and created such a horrible tension in the house

It's now a year later and we have zero debt and some savings. We did it by selling our flat where we lived in London and moving to a much cheaper part of the country. We rent at the moment as it's cheaper but are saving to buy in a few years. I also got a job working nights while we were waiting for our place to sell. It was shit working till 3 am them coming home and looking after a baby who woke at 6! But it got us through. I guess what I am trying to say is that you are not alone. It is awful. But you WILL get there in the end!

Good luck to all of you ( oh and debt happens to everyone please no one feel ashamed that )

Kazza I think I was there a few months ago. Now I have a plan, even though it's not perfect, it's stopped the middle if the night stressing.
Do you get a break from council tax next month? Could you pay that off a card?

Thanks for your story Ellis

For me, the turning point was just actually facing into it. I did a total drains up of everything coming in and going out...went back over a years worth of statements, bills, receipts and wrote it all down in one place (tedious job but recommend it). I then used that past year to forecast what the coming year looks like.

I separated out priority payments (those that have dire consequence if not being paid/falling behind ie mortgage, Council Tax, etc) and then the non priority (those which are nice to haves ie SKY, mobile phone, etc).

Everything non priority I've either got rid of or negotiated a better deal.

Then I worked hard at the outgoings that made the reall difference-general spending! All those tenners from the ATM that I can't now account for, meals out, lunches, food that ended up in the bin...mortified when I think back now

I now meal plan working towards zero waste, and I withdraw my weekly cash budget for food/treats every Monday and allow myself nothing more til following Monday...if I run out, tough, it's my fault...I get no top ups.

Gosh...that went on longer than I intended lol x

Yes thanks Ellis.
Fergus - that totally resonated with me, about the money being frittered. I have realised that 10 pounds a day equals 300 a month!
No wonder we are stuck.
Also we have so much coming in in dribs and drabs that I feel sick about not using it properly.
Current plan:
Pay off one card/loan at a time.
Use council tax money in feb and March to pay debt.
No parties this year for dcs.
Leave money in joint account rather than swapping it around all over the place- this doesn't work for me.

Nerf, no break from council tax because dh was claiming council tax benefit, now I've increased my hours they have scrapped all his benefits and are recalculating council tax benefit, but we will still have to pay something. As he has no benefits we have only my meagre wage to live off. We have two months mortgage holiday, this month being the second month and no way if paying the mortgage next month.

When we sell our house we will not be able to buy another, as our credit ratings are terrible, so no chance of a mortgage for a year I think.

Forgot to say, moving to a rented property would bring our costs down, but house sales are slow in the area . We will probably have to take much less than we bought for, but hopefully enough to pay off debt and pay 6 months rent up front.

Kazza,have you sat with someone at your Bank to go over the situation with them? They may be able to support/help you get things on an even keel for a bit x

Mum, tbh my bank don't have a local branch and don't give the impression of being helpful We spoke to our mortgage company and they were so cold, impersonal and unhelpful, it was unbelievable

I don't feel I can do anything whilst our income is just my low income. We can just about cover food and bills except mortgage if we are really careful. Not sure about council tax ... I need to do my sums again, now everything has changed (just increased my hours and found out dh has lost all benefits at the end of December).

Dh has applied for a job that is perfect for him, but the company are known for dragging their heels AND he has to go through an agency. There is only one other applicant he knows of, but he applied before Christmas and still hasn't heard about an interview.

We are waiting to hear about the job (and all others he is applying for) before putting the house on the Mather, as finding the EPC fee will be difficult. Also our house needs some work before being ready to sell, which we can't afford (Carpets, paintwork).

God kazza how horrible. It's awful when you feel trapped. I feel luckier because I can increase my hours in a few months, and I can see us doing this if we just crack down and do it.
Is it worth talking to step change for ideas?

Thanks nerf I don't know anything about step change, I was thinking of speaking to Payplan, but there's no point until I have some money left over to make payments

OP
the main trick with paying down ALL credit card type debts is to work out the amount in pounds you can afford to pay each month and keep paying that amount
DO NOT let them reduce the minimum each month ....
have a look at my spreadsheet, linked here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1715581-Cost-of-credit-cards-and-mortgages-the-spreadsheets
that shows that paying the minimum will take you 18 years
but if you freeze at today's amount it drops really really fast
good luck

Don't talk to any that charge - step change is a charity and I think government funded?

Thanks. I think Payplan are free too.