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Original poster

How do I work this out?

11 replies

littlemefi · 26/02/2013 20:40

DH and I both work, he works FT and I work PT 0.64 WTE.

We have our own bank accounts and a separate joint account from which we pay all our bills and rent outgoings, which adds up to around £1200 a month.

Currently DH pays in £650 a month and I pay in £550 a month, plus I probably do 3 of the 4 weekly shops a month. I think this is unfair, as I have very little, if any, money left at the end of the month, when I know DH has money left, although he also has other outgoings such as credit card and loan which he ran up when we weren't together.

How do I work out a fair way to contribute to our joint outgoings?

We are in similar jobs, so if I were FT I would earn a similar amount to DH.

OP posts:

readysteady · 26/02/2013 20:47

Why don't you pay all your money into the joint account and then give yourselves the same amount of spending money? My DH earns 4 times my 50% job and that's what we do as we both earn towards the family pot, as a unit not individuals. Hope that helps.

Original poster

littlemefi · 26/02/2013 20:54

What about his other debts? They pre-date me, and he's not brilliant with money and I'm a bit more of a tightwad!
I'd worry if he had access to all the money, that it would all be spent before the end of the month!

OP posts:

ilovepowerhoop · 26/02/2013 21:01

could you both add in an amount to the joint account to cover food bills and pay the weekly shop out of the joint account too

readysteady · 26/02/2013 21:07

Yes add the same but as a % of your earnings into the joint then all the bills come out of that.

Original poster

littlemefi · 26/02/2013 21:24

I don't even mind paying more for the food if I were paying less into the joint account iyswim.

What I'm struggling with is the maths! How do I calculate my share and his to cover the £1200 fairly? I still think DH would have enough to cover his debts and if I were paying less, I wouldn't begrudge paying for food shopping as I would still have a bit of money left at the end of the month.

OP posts:

emma16 · 26/02/2013 22:15

Your not the first person I've seen writing posts about being married & having separate bank accounts & independent finances, and it just bamboozles me to be honest. My husband is the sole earner in our house, I do a few cleaning jobs a week that fit in with the kids being at school but all of our money goes into the same pot every month. Our bills get paid & we have left what we live on each month. Neither of us have a go at each other for what the other spends because we trust each other & know neither of us would fritter money away selfishly for no reason. I think you need to sit down & talk to him & sort out any issues that aren't just to do financially...for every relationship to work there needs to be trust & it doesn't sound like there's a lot in yours at the moment :(

pepperrabbit · 26/02/2013 22:21

If you want a straight maths answer, given you would be on the same FT salary, I would view it as he earns say 100% to your 64%. So I would take the £1200 and divide by 164, he needs to contribute 100x that answer and you 64x that answer.
So £731 and £469.

Original poster

littlemefi · 26/02/2013 22:32

You may have a valid point emma re the trust issues with money, we have quite different attitudes towards money, I'm pretty careful and try to put some money aside every month for a rainy day (such as car repairs, holiday, boiler blowing up!), whereas DH is a live for today kinda guy.

He has, in my opinion, been reckless with loans and credit cards which he is paying off now, which predate our relationship, and which I don't really want to be responsible for.

I like having some financial independence and when I worked FT, before having dd, we were on very similar incomes and paid the same amounts into the joint account and that seemed to work well. I like having " my money" and know DH feels the same as we don't have to justify our spending, can treat each other etc.

I know I probably sound resentful and that is a fair comment, all I'm asking for is a way to work out the maths so that pro rata we cover the bills fairly. That way we both have some money left for ourselves to spend/ save as individuals without worrying.

OP posts:

Original poster

littlemefi · 26/02/2013 22:33

Thanks pepparabbit!

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 27/02/2013 07:21

I would take off his credit card repayments & work it out after that.

readysteady · 27/02/2013 09:50

Emma it makes me confused too when married couples do this, then the borrow from each other I just don't understand that but respect each person/couples right to do as they feel suits them, we view the money as family money I don't think my dh has any more right to control the money just because he earns more of it. I thought a partnership is a partnership! I had student debts and my dh paid them off for me before we got married even as we were sharing a house at the time I no way feel guilty about that!

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