Living on one wage, some advice

[ineedaspartame]

So my partner has decided he wants to look for work after a complicated situation with his mental health (he has ADHD and other things). He is looking into security work. Is this a good paying job? Does anyone have any idea what the wages will be like as he's under 25? I have to be at home to look after our daughter who is 3 months old and is exclusively breastfed. Our rent is pretty cheap. I have never worked so have no clue about council tax. I don't know much about this universal credit. I know you can get family tax credits but that is about to change. I do 100% of the housework, cooking, grocery shopping, errands and all of the hands on childcare. I might consider part time for just a few hours every week when she starts school however I don't want to do that now as she is just a baby and is my first priority. My SO is not capable of housework. He just makes it worse when he tries to clean and he burns and spills food everywhere and breaks things so this is what works for us. I know he probably will not be entitled to disability for much longer when PIP comes in, at the moment I am his carer but he would like to return to work.

If your partner has complicated mental health issues and isn't capable of simple tasks like housework he may not be suitable for a lot of roles. That's the first thing to check. Don't assume that he won't be entitled to disability benefits, however. If he's as functionally and mentally limited as you say, then he may still qualify.

Check your benefit entitlement using something like the checker at www.turn2us.org.uk but you also have to think about getting yourself back in the job market. Your DD is not going to start school for another 4 years.

i won't consider work until she's 5. i would rather live without luxuries than leave her when she's that small. You may be right, however when you look at and talk to my SO he seems fine. It's only when you live with him day by day that you notice.

You said on another thread that you 'don't believe in blurring gender roles'. If your partner is incapable of performing the traditional male gender role and you don't expect him to help with the female gender role you are effectively a lone parent. Like the rest of us lone parents it therefore becomes your responsibility to provide for your child. 'Not considering work' for a full five years is therefore wrong-headed.

At 3 months old its hard to imagine ever leaving them, but it is easier as they get more independent. Also at 3 they have childcare funding too which helps.

How are you surviving at the moment? When your daughter is a bit older he may need to look after her while you work.Or maybe you could both work part time. One of you will need to...

Seems to me that you need to consider work. Why shouldn't your partner care for your child?

I agree with some of the other netters your partner needs to get advice on which job he is capable of doing also maybe you could xpress your milk for your baby and hopefully get a part time job and get a place at nursery I know it is difficult to leave babe but a friend of mine came back to work on p/t basis when son was 6wks old it is a long time to wait before school to bring extra money.

I would say security work (if dealing with the public) and ADHD are not a great match tbh