How much does his ex really get?

[WaspFactory]

How much money does a single parent get in benefits? I ask because my partner is paying his ex over the odds in maintenance because he thinks she is getting next to nothing. However, a friend of mine says his ex gets more money than him due to the amount of benefit she receives.

Can anyone tell me how much (roughly) per month it's possible to get as a single SAHM with one child? Bearing in mind that she is living in their old house with a mortgage on it?

I don't know why the OP is getting such a hard time. It is quite normal for the amount paid to reduce when the father has a child with the new partner, because his salary has to support two kids rather than one. The same would happen if he was still with his original partner.

I actually have a friend in a similar situation to the OP's partner. He currently pays over the minimum for the first child. He now has a child with his new partner. He could apply to the court at any time for a variation in the order in light of the new child, but is holding off for as long as he can. This sort of situation is not uncommon.

Maintenance levels can be varied whenever there is a change in income or outgoings.

Please, if I spit my coke out once more I'll wreck my keyboard!

LOL!! And it's counselling, darling, unless you mean I need to get a public servant to review my 'emotional immaturaty'. Too funny.

You sound very young op :(

What is wrong with your life that you need to go one a chat fourm and have a bun fight with people you dont know?

Do you have friends?

Do you have a family?

There is better things you can do with your time young lady :(

i can see why the child's mother doesn't allow her to be at your house.

so you want her to have just enough to live on, while you and your children or his second batch of children live a more comfortable life.

i left him. because i am wise.

It's not "bitter" to want your x to make equal sacrifices for parenthood. Being a father hardly impacts upon my x at all and it has affected every aspect of my life enormously from my career, to whether or not I can have another relationship, practical constraints, emotional overload, worries about the future..... Acknowledging this disparity in how parenthood has impacted upon our lives does not make me bitter. It makes me aware. Unlike you, Waspfactory. Let's hope your "partner" doesn't start a third family, ehy?

I came on here to discuss money and having kids, I didn't ask you to join in.

OK then Wasp so what is your response to my posts upthread which I spent quite a lot of time and effort researching links and information for you?

Must have been a quick lunch

Are you for realy?

To laught and judge you of course. Your life makes mine look sooooo much better

Im married and not bitter at all lol

In a way it's really for your partner and his ex to work out their finances. If he thinks he is paying too much then he should seek to re-negotiate the amount. If you are already feeling anxious about the fact that she is at home not working and you are then I don't think this feleing of resentment is going to get any better. It may get a lot worse when you have your own children. But I can absolutely see why this is a bone of contention especially if she is getting what you consider to be generous benefits as well as generous maintentance.

This comment from OP early on
"
Yes, I'm aware of that, he pays more than the minimum and I don't think she's being honest about her situation. "

In other words you do want most of the financial sacrifice for parenthood to be HERS. Big of you that you have no problem paying "the minimum" but anything beyond that, oh no no no you have to find a better balance. Why? becaues you believe that ultimately the greater share of the financial sacrifice for parenthood will be HERS rather than the child's father. The minimum doesn't even come close to being half let me tell you.

Vivienne - there's no resentment from me, this was purely a question about what she might be getting. I've never been in her situation so I've no idea (although I do now from some of the sane responses to this thread).

And from what I've read on here, the benefits are far from generous so I'm glad I asked. It seems my friend has got it wrong.

if i thought any of what i say was actually something you wanted to know i would share. but as i know you are trying to bait me i wont bite.

you really aren't helping yourself here.

Wasp please let me know your secrate of how you get with a man you know is a father and then complaine that he has to support her?

WaspFactory it's you who say you can afford to pay for your children 100% on your own. I don't think Booyhoo could. I honestly can't either and I earn more than your BF if £500 is 30% of his monthly salary. (Unless you are talking about weekly).

NoGin - so what about when she starts working? Or what if her current partner moves in with her and contributes financially? Should he still pay more than CSA suggest? What about if we want to take her on holiday or buy her clothes etc?

(Incidentally she started seeing him very soon after they split and SD has met him and been to his house so the access thing is very hypocritical)

BOF, a quick lunch during which a soon-to-be-ex hands you 10K. Don't you have these all the time, darling? Is that not how most divorces go?

OP, I say well done, darling. You must be so pleased with your life. Isn't it ideal to drag a reluctant OH into TTC while you are both married to other people? Is that not what everyone hopes for? So glad you are happy, as you so rightly said nobody is perfect, to hell with bourgeoisie conventions or ever considering other people in your decisions. Best of luck, dear.