How much shall I offer my parents for having us to stay?

[allhailtheaubergine]

We are going to stay with my parents for 4 weeks.
We being me, my two children (5 and 3).
Then dh will join us for the last 5 days or so.

My parents are completely skint.

I want to offer them money to cover electricity / water / basics at the supermarket / petrol to and from the airport twice. Have I forgotten anything?

Obviously I will also spoil them with booze and treats and meals out etc.

How much would be a good amount to offer? I would hate them to be out of pocket because of us.

They are very proud and won't like it, nor will they discuss it sensibly so I can't ask them to pick a number. I need to broach it with a clear idea of what I want to put in to the kitty.

And, as as you're here, do you think it would be too rude to just put the money in the account so they don't have any say in it? I don't want to be obnoxious about it.

Alternatively I shall have to do some fancy footwork at the supermarket checkout and get in before they do.

Could you offer to do the supermarket shopping for 3 of the weeks - ie they give you the list and you go off while they enjoy time with the kids, and then add what you want to it etc and then put some money into their accounts.

when we used to go to Germany for a week with 2 adults and one child we used to give £100 for food costs (last visit 2002) and treat everyone to a meal and several coffees out. I don't think it would be unreasonable to put the money in directly as long as they would not be offended - you are the best person to call on that. Otherwise as you say, do some fast footwork food shopping

I would give them a sum of money towards general upkeep - can you work out roughly what their monthly utility bills are? For example ours are about £450 a month plus mortgage for a 3-bed house, that includes broadband, council tax, water, gas etc etc. If you knew roughly that then you could offer a proportion? If you know their bank details and can just transfer it then I would do that. Harder for them to say no then :)

In terms of food then you just have to insist at the supermarket somehow!

So, how about £500 in the bank "to cover petrol and water bills" plus a couple of supermarket trolleys (particularly good meat-heavy ones) (actually they shop most days rather than weekly so I might be able to do a few of these) plus putting extra yummy goodies in the trolley when I'm paying - bottles of booze and nice cheese and chocs and puddings etc.

Plus, obviously, gifts when we arrive.

Does that sound okay?

And maybe a couple of lunches out, and a nice meal out before we leave?

Plus doing my share with the cooking / granny sitting.

Have I got it covered?

I would try and take over the shopping etc while you are there, plus treat them to meals out. The two of them probably consume less than all of you, so the incremental expense is less for you than it would be for them.

It is hard to put a figure on things like utilities.

Not sure where in the world you are going, either, as that may have some bearing.

Could you also do any DIY, or replacing of worn out items in their home?

Ha ha ha at DIY and replacing worn items Lets just say my parents were embracing shabby chic long before Cath Kidston had thought of it .

They are in France.