This is such a nosy question but if you are a sahp, how much does your partner earn to make it viable?

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I fully expect people to change names for this but I have long wondered: if you're a sahm/d, how much does your partner earn? In other words, how high does one salary have to be in order for 2 people and child/ren to survive? And what does your partner do to earn this? I'm not asking out of anything other than total nosiness so do tell me to bog off if you like! Name changers extremely welcome!

MoHo - I work in Marketing - as the head of a dept.

Peckarollover - I didn't change my name, but then I'm not on here very often, so no-one really knows me. I think the reason people don't like being honest about salaries is that then it tends to get used as a shorthand way to make snap judgements about people.

I'm not embarrassed by what I earn, I feel proud that I have worked hard all my life and got to the position I am in, which commands the salary I earn. However I also recognise that hard work does not automatically = higher pay, and I have utmost respect for people like teachers etc.

I do get annoyed when people say "oh you're so lucky - you get paid so well". It's not simply luck - I've worked damn hard to get here, and made some choices along the way that others decided not to make, for whatever reason.

I think people on reasonably high incomes probably want to remain more anonymous because of the general trend in the UK towards attacking high earners (thinking of all the 'Fat Cat' stuff)

Dp partner salary is 15'000 mine is zero as I am SAHM, Dp does work lots of overtime at the moment as we are saving for our wedding! Depends on the area you live as well we are in Scotland therefore we really don't need that much to live on as our rent is 222 month and c/tax 125 month. I aslo receive Child tax credit for being at home.

I should work but found it was not worth it as after paying nursery fees I was going to be left with less than £300 per month before petrol which is at least £100 per month. Dh earns £38,000 and brings home just over £2,000 per month. Our mortgage is £1,100 per month, dh spends over £400 per month on petrol as his job is a 120 mile round trip. We are living off an overdraft which I know is not sensible. Because childcare is so expensive I think that sometimes being a SAHM is a viable option although you can't really afford it IYSWIM.

not read thread just title.
My question is how much would you have to earn to make it viable to go back to work?

Depends how much childcare is in your area and if you are doing it for the money or purely for other reasons I suppose. We pay £650ish a month for 4 days a week at nursery plus £320ish a month for our p/t nanny, so I guess to cover that you would need £15000.

When we only had the nanny it was a lot more, I guess around £500pw all in so you would need to earn £30k to take that home.

have to say reading some of the salaries on here has been quite an eye opener (even for those who've changed their name to say).

As most of you know we're skint atm - but I've had loads of moral support from loads of MN'ers - many of whom I suspect have changed their names so people don't know how much they earn.

It's lovely to see that so many people on big salaries don't "look down" on those who are struggling and don't feel the need to brag about how much they have.

So many people I know in RL (although not all of them I hasten to add) who are on big salaries tend to act like they're somehow "above" the rest of us

I'm sure none of that actually makes sense - but I hope some of you understand what I'm saying

I couldnt earn that!!!
So I couldnt afford to work!!!!
Suits me. I want to be at home with my children and for my children, thats why I had them. but I do understand that some people prefer to work or have to work!
We manage on next to nothing, but get by and everyone seem shappy!
Malory sell your runner beans door to door!!!

When I gave up work to look after our 3 (I was preg with the 3rd), 3.5 years ago, DH was earning £38k. We managed fine. Now he earns 6 figures, granted we have moved, and plan to do again, so our outgoings have increased along with our income. TBH, we only have a little bit more disposable income now than we did when DH was earning £38k.

Just wanted to agree with some of Gameboy's comments.

Although DH and I are obviously in the high earner bracket, we have both worked hard to get where we are today, and have made some big sacrifices along the way.

DH works abroad during the week, so we sacrifice a lot of time together, and additional strain is put on me having to organise the home by myself, and obviously to look after the baby by myself when it arrives.

It has also contributed to us taking significantly longer than most couples to conceive our child, as with DH away all the time it was hard to get our timing right! Ultimately this will probably lead to us having less children that I would have liked.

These are choices that we made, so no, we don't expect anyone to feel sorry for us, but equally we don't expect people to be jealous of us for reaping the financial awards of our hard work and sacrifices.

Ultimately, if there weren't people on high incomes giving the tax man huge amounts of money, then there wouldn't be enough in the government's coffers to pay out the child benefits/WTCs etc that some of you need.

I'd just hope that everyone is able to accept that we all come from different walks of life, all make our own choices, and all have to lie in the beds that we have made for ourselves.

So I guess that the answer to the original question for us is a bare minimum of £40k (but we'd have to give up things, like my car and we'd need to downsize}.

ah but hang on, depends where you live. I believe in some areas childminders charge £3 an hour, so if you worked full time 9-5 that would be £120 a week on childcare which would equate to £520 a month which would be the take home on £6700 a year.

thats £3 per child!?

with us its not so much what dh earns, as what it would cost me to work.
childcare, help with housework (as dh wont stoop to running a vacuum), work wardrobe, drycleaning etc will all add up to about 2k a month. when i gave up work to be a sahm my take home pay was 1057 a month.
for me working would be a luxury we cannot afford.

Child3's childminder was £2.50 an hour ! Bargain

thats what I mean Stitch. cant afford to work!!!!!!

its choices though isnt it cd. i would never send my kids to a childminder. im sure their must be some good ones out there, but i havent been particularly impressed by the women i have sseen childminding here. all they do i s make sure the child isnt unsafe. definiton of that could be sticking kid in carseat and pushchair whilst out shopping for shoes/clothes whilst charging the parents £5 an hour.
id much rather they were at a nursery where there were organised activities for them. which is why childcare would be so expensive for us.

child minders charge per child so if I worked I would pay £5 an hour and £12.50 after school So thats £72.50 9 till 6.£362.50 a week. Just for child minder at 2.5 an hour!! Ok oldest one could come home so I could save about 7 a day on that!

plus I would want to see some advantage of going to work!

ouch

never sat and worked it out before!!!
See how much I am worth!!
How much does a cleaner charge!!
More than child minder is a clean house really worth more than a child's welfare?!!!!

most of the childminderes I've contacted do a discount for 2nd child

and 3rd and 4th and 5th
how many would be able to take thm all. how long would it take me to pick up on an evening!
No, my children are mine and I think I will stay home and look after them!