Arrggghhhhh!!!!!! Another month gone and I still haven't had a strong positive on the OPK. My period was 35 days last month and 33 this month.
I'm worried that I'm not ovulating every cycle and that's why it took over a year to get pregnant the first time. My GP said not to worry about it though, that it will happen when it happens. It's so easy to be blase when you're not the person desperate for a baby.
I spent most of yesterday in fits of tears. I thought I'd never stop. It's been like this on the first day of all my periods since losing my baby. I feel like it's all happening again and I'm back in that hospital room.
It's my brother-in-laws wedding in October and I should be there with my little boy, showing him his new family and beaming with pride but now I'll be surrounded by all these people giving me sympathetic smiles and whispering behind my back.
Everyone keeps saying I will get my baby which makes me feel like they don't think my boy was real, or that he didn't matter. It has to get better than this doesn't it?
I want to be pregnant again so badly but I worry like mad that if I do I'll be expecting the same baby I lost. Has anyone else felt like this?