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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Incomplete miscarriage

18 replies

lazyeye · 02/07/2003 20:50

Hello, I posted on the Preg board about a wk ago to say I was bleeding at 9 wks & today I found out I have probably had an incomplete miscarriage.

I feel so flat & raw, but I also don't understand some of what was said. There was no fetus seen , though there was a sac....they want to re-scan in 2 wks in case I have my dates wrong but there is no way I can be less than about 9 and half wks. I pressed for a D&C and they seemed to be suggesting that I wanted a termination & that this preg wasn't wanted!!! Just the opposite even though I have a son only 8mnths.

I feel like I will never have another baby.

Sorry to bleat on, but anyone else had this?

OP posts:

tamum · 02/07/2003 21:02

I'm so sorry. I had the same experience, but I didn't have a D+C, it just all happened naturally. I think that's probably best if you can face it, less risk of infection. I did feel just like you, but 14 months later there I was with a beautiful baby girl. It will be alright, but give yourself time to get over it.
xx

Sosijsmum · 02/07/2003 21:06

Really sorry to hear your news. I was also told this at around 9 weeks. Is your cycle really long? The dating thing assumes a 28 day cycle,conception at day 14, so if its a lot longer then the foetus will look "small". Because they use foetal length for dating based only on this 28 day cycle and not your own circumstances, this can result in there appearing to be an empty sac when in fact the foetus is, say, 9 days "smaller" than expeected (for a 37 day cycle, say, with conception at day 23). This is what happened to me. I really hope its the same for you. Love and best wishes xxx

Ghosty · 02/07/2003 21:11

Lazyeye ... I am so sorry to hear this news. I would however wait a bit and have another scan just to make sure ... just like sosijsmum suggests ....

Rhubarb · 02/07/2003 22:07

Lazyeye, I don't want to give you false hope, but I bled 6 weeks into my pregnancy. I had terrible stomach cramps too and I was convinced that I had miscarried. I was astonished when they told me that the sac was still there, however they couldn't see the heart so they didn't know if it was alive or dead and whether the bleeding was the start of a miscarriage or not. I had to wait a week in limbo not knowing whether or not I was still pregnant. Thankfully at the next scan they did manage to find the heartbeat, but they were saying that I was about a week less pregnant than I thought I was. It was only on the 10 week scan that they confirmed that my dates were right.

I would wait for your next scan. I know it is hard, that week I waited was the longest week of my life. But you never know, you could still be pregnant. If you are not, there are pills they could give you to induce a miscarriage, or you could ask for a D&C.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, and I wish you all the luck in the world.

pie · 02/07/2003 22:11

So sorry to hear your news lazyeye.

If you can bare waiting for another scan. I had a scan at 6 weeks and was told that there was no sac in utero, came back a week later with an overnight bag to have an operation for an ectopic pregnancy and the Doctor was very surprised to see a heartbeat in my uterus.

I hope I'm not giving you false hope, but maybe you would feel better knowing that this pregnancy wasn't going to happen 100%, rather then maybe going ahead with the D&C straight away and then wondering whether you should have had the second scan. Maybe they could see you earlier than 2 weeks?

As you son is only 8 months old have your periods completely returned to a 28 day cycle?

What ever happens you mustn't think that you will never have another baby. There are several of us (myself included) pregnant or with children after a m/c.

{{{}}}

hewlettsdaughter · 02/07/2003 22:45

Dear lazyeye - I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. You must be in turmoil, not really knowing what's happening. Can you go back to the doctor's and ask him/her to take you through what they said again? I would imagine you were pretty shocked when they spoke to you today. Thinking of you...

gingernut · 02/07/2003 23:24

Really sorry to hear this, lazyeye. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. At the scan, they saw a sac but no developing foetus. At the time I was 11 weeks and very sure of my dates, so they were sure I was miscarrying and they booked me in for a D&C 3 days later. However, the miscarriage occurred naturally over the next 24 hours.

I think the medics are less certain in your case because you aren't so far on and it's harder to tell what's going on. I really feel for you, having to wait, but if you do you will at least be sure one way or the other.

Take care of yourself.

mears · 02/07/2003 23:56

Lazyeye - you have no idea how many women find that they are behind in their dates and when they come for rescan there is a fetal pole seen. Sometimes there are varying times of ovulation and pregnancies occur later than expected. I worry about women who immediately ot for D&C because I have seen the results in some who wait. If you wait and on rescan there is no fetal pole then you will definately know there is no hope of pregnancy. I myself had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. On my scan a fetal pole could not be seen but I wanted to wait another week. As it was, I bled in the interim and the decision was taken out of my hands. Hope you can wait it out.

bunny2 · 03/07/2003 07:42

Lazyeye, I had an incomplete misscarriage. I lost the baby at 10 weeks but it wasnt picked up till a scan at 14 weeks. I had a second scan to confirm there was no heartbeat and opted for a D&C next day. IT was a horrible thing to go through so I really sympathise with you.

Hugs B

Claireandrich · 03/07/2003 10:44

So sorry to hear that lazyeye. Give yourself time to grieve and take it easy.

princesspeahead · 03/07/2003 10:51

Poor you, Lazyeye. No experience and no advice but much sympathy. Take care

snickers · 03/07/2003 10:57

A dear friend of mine has just experienced 2 such misscarriages in 6 months. But this posting has me worried now because with the first baby, the scan at 12 weeks showed the baby had died at 9 weeks, and she had a D&C but with the second baby, she also had bleeding, and went in at 9 weeks and was told that also she was still "pregnant" there was no baby and had probably been absorbed back into the body. She had an immediate D&C upon advice. But it freaks me out to think that everything might have been OK and that her dates might ahve just been earlier than expected. What is done is done I guess. But now they are telling her she cannot risk another pregnancy until they have carried out investigation because she cannot risk another D&C in such a short time.

Lazyeye - let us know how you are. We're all here for you.

Original poster

lazyeye · 03/07/2003 19:21

thanks for all the msgs. I know what pple are trying to say about the dates but there is no way my dates can be that wrong i.e 6 wks instead of nearly 10 as my hubbie and me haven't even had sex since I think I conceived!!! I don't hold out any hope and just wish it would even come away naturally or they would give me D&C. I want to move on - this way they are making me wait over 3 wks (took me a wk to get a scan).

I'm okay have bad times & gd - my 2 kids keep me busy. I just can't get it out of my head that I'll never have another chance.....

OP posts:

hewlettsdaughter · 03/07/2003 19:50

There's no reason to think that lazyeye... just concentrate on getting through the next couple of weeks for now.

quackers · 04/07/2003 09:12

That is exactly how I felt lazyeye. I was told to wait and see, which maybe isn't a bad thing if it comes away within say a week or so. They made me wait 3 weeks and then rescanned - did a d and c and I thought that would be it, but there was still some left(I'm told this is unusual) and waited a further 6 weeks for that to go along with an infection. I am now 3 months on and trying again this month.
The waiting is so tough, not only are you dealing with a loss, but a loss that hasn;t yet really happened and you can't move on until you know your body is clear. I really sympathise and you just get to the stage where you want your body back and to be in with a chance again.
Just try to wait a little as infection is much less if you leave it naturally, but at the same time if you feel after a couple of weeks that nothing has happend go back and ask for d and c. Some people's bodies take ages to realise that they have actually lost the baby. I took 7/8 weeks before I started to miscarry, don't know why.
Look after yourself, keep us posted and have a big hug from all of us
xxxx

Rhubarb · 04/07/2003 15:26

Lots of hugs from me too lazyeye. Just try to get yourself through the next two weeks, a couple of days have gone already since your last post, so that's a couple of days nearer to your scan date. Make as many appointments as you can these next 2 weeks, keep yourself busy and try not to think about it too much, that way it will pass much quicker. The week I waited felt like a whole year! When are you due to go back? Do let us know the outcome won't you?

Wills · 04/07/2003 17:39

Lazyeye, your experience sounds just like my miscarriage and I'm so very very sorry. However rather than wait for a couple of weeks they took blood, then waited for 48 hours and took blood again. The hormones had halved the second time, a sign my consultant assured me meant that my dates were right but that I had absorbed the baby back and I could either wait a few more days for natural full miscarriage or have a D&C. Either way the pregnancy was definitely over. I opted for the D&C because I wanted to move on and couldn't bear waiting.

JanZ · 10/07/2003 12:22

Lazyeye - I've just been through this. I hope by now things have progresed naturally for you and you aren't still having to wait for a scan. Two weeks seems a long time to wait for a second scan - the norm at my hospital is a gap of a week - and in fact I had a second scan done after 3 days (which showed that the sac was collapsing in on itself) and the d&c was done 6 days after my first scan.

In my case I went in for CVS when I should have been 11+ weeks. When they did the scan, it only showed as 6 weeks, but I was fairly sure of my dates. As it COULD have been a 6 week pregnancy, they did another trans vaginal scan the same day to see in more detail but still couldn't see any heart beat. However according to their protocals, it was marginal as to whether they would have done anyway - hence getting the second scan done a few days later. Both the midwife at the Early Pregnancy Unit and the sonographer said that thier protocals were very stricts - the Royal College of Obstetricians protocols would have said it was non-viable straight away (ie it was over 6mm with no heartbeat - my hospital's protocol was 8mm).

To reassure you - as you will have seen from the messages already, there are plenty of cases of women having a miscarriage and then going on to have a healthy baby. My mum had a miscarriage between me and my (extremely healthy!) brother.

It helped me that my best friend is a GP and has often said that the body is very efficient at recognsing that there is semothing wrong and "stopping" the pregnancy.... which is a large part of why one in four (or five?) pregnancies miscarry in the first trimester.

If nothing has happened yet, you have my sympathies - it is not the nicest feeling, being in limbo, not being able to go anywhere because you think you might start bleeding at any time.... wondering if every slight stomach spasm is the start of "it". I found it bearable because I had the "end" date of the booked d&c.

Let us know how you are.

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