Missed miscarriage at 12 weeks

[coxy3005]

Hi everyone,

This is my first ever time doing this, I've been reading everyones stories over the last couple of weeks and have really gained some comfort and now feel about ready to share my story. I was coming up for my 12week dating scan, I reached 11 weeks and after the midwife booking in appt got really excited and we started to tell family and friend, we said that we would wait as we previously had m/c at 8 weeks 7 months previously but felt that we were now reaching the 'safe' time so started to tell people. The day before my scan I started some brownish spotting, I knew that something was wrong and was so scared it was happening again! The next morning we had the dating scan and worst fears confirmed, no heartbeat and only measured about 9 weeks 2 days. I decided to go for natural and not d&c as I had natural before and it wasn't too bad apart from the emotional side it was really just like having a really bad period. This time was totally different, pain like really bad contractions lots of clots and bright red blood. One night the bleeding was so bad I had to go to a&e as it was coming out like someone had turned a tap on and it wouldn't stop!! Was so scary. Everything turned out ok and was sent home after a few hours of observation to carry on with natural m/c. I had my follow up scan which was exactly 2 weeks after the first scan and it looks like everything has come away. To top it all off it was my birthday yesterday and none of my so called friends contacted me, I don't think I'm coping very well, my DH has been my rock but I don't have anyone to talk to about it that understands my freinds don't know what to say to me so therefore don't say anything which wouldn't normally bother me but at the moment feel a bit of an emotional reck!!

Anyway, hope my story may in someway help someone else.

Coxy x

Hey Jules, so pleased that all went well for you in the scan and all is well in the other tests too.

I know what you mean about the memory haunting you. I feel that way too and suspect I will for a while. I feel quite a bit of anger towards random pregnant people I see around - its so frustrating.

Heres hoping we all become a positive statistic soon rather than a crap one!

Positive thoughts all round
x

Hi Polar bear and Temm09

Thanks for your messages. I feel werid feeling OK. Im back at work now and feel ok. Every now and then tho i think last time i was here i was pregnant!!! arhhh

Polar Bear, i hope today goes well and im thinking of you. Do ask the questions you need to- - I did and although they seemed stupid- they got anwered. Do ask about those pills as its werid how they dont offer to some ple. depends i supose.

I have started to put all the stuff regarding this prgnancy in a box, but not the scan pic, then it would be like i was letting go or forgetting. You know i even took a pic of the blody clear blue digital stick with my fav cuddly toy holding it- how sad is that- - - its coz to me it was a miricle- - wed been trying since Feb this year and i was starting to thing that something was wrong!

Polar bear was this your first MC???

yes i feel like im cursing innocent pregnnant women as i walk the street or go to a do! not thier fualt- Just our misfortune!

Ok well good luck and let me know how it goes. Take care and keep warm! its a shitty rainy day today! Eat well too! love and hugs!

Well I'm home now and the ERPC has been done. Feel a bit down and tired but at least I feel that that part is over.

This was my second MC, had my first in Feb this year so not been the best of years for me so far.

Hope that its stopped raining where you are and the sun is shining is more ways than one. You'll have to keep in touch and let me know how things go for you

x

Hey Polar Bear. Im glad your home. Im sorry this was your 2nd. Take plenty rest. I hope our not in any pain (phsyical)I know emotionaly the pain is hard to deal with.

the suns out up north, and im sure the saying - silver lining in a cloud will start to materialise soon for all of us.

Im back at work now, feel much better, still get my pangs of " i should be pregnant now!!!!"

I just want my period back - they told me to wait for 3 cycles to try again - but do I have to? How long did you wait to try again? How long did anyone in here wait???

have a good day peeps!

J x

Hi Jules and PolarBear... glad you are both moving into the next phase, hopefully things will get easier for you.

There's so much different advice about when to start TTC again - even from medics. The sonographer told me wait two cycles, hospital gynae said just wait for one period and GP said no need to wait at all. As it turned out, my body was a bit messed up til first period - wasn't actually sure when that started or ended. We tried after that but unsuccessful Haven't been able to try this month because of illness. Let's hope next month is the ticket. And to help us along I'm looking at Clearblue Fertility Monitor, can't bear the idea of more waiting! But as I said before, I think the waiting has actually helped my mental state - it's been horrible, but I've reached the point now where I need to stop obsessing about it and shift my focus to other things -whilst still trying of course. Ideally, yes, I would have preferred to have got pregnant straight away after MC but it's out of my hands.

It seems the only medical reason for waiting is to be clear on your date of conception, should you fall pregnant again quickly. Has anyone given you advice specifically for your introverted uterus? What does that even mean?! I guess the other reasons are more for your mental and emotional health - takes a while for the hormones to settle down before stirring them all up again!

Hope the sun stays out - in all ways

Hey Temm09

Next phase indeed, when i left that hospital it was like the chapter had closed.

Ummm,,,seems there is different advice. Dr said 1-2 periods, Sonographer said 3 cycles- thats 3 months ..and thats not taking into account that it may not happen in any event!

I think wait is good till next period to get tthings sorted in that department. mentally i dont think ill be prepared coz of the fear oof it happening again! god dam it!

Its true about not obsessing about the ins an outs and whys and what ifs. Looking fforward wd be good- im not quite there yet!

I did ask the MW sonographer about the uterous and she said that its not the reason of miscarraige- she said that although its rare- a lot of women have it and it does not eeffect fertility or misscarraige etc. One of the other nurses told me she had one- - - and does not effect baby etc. But Im not sure,,,Id have to do my own research.

Well were supposed to have 2 inches of rain and and the back end of some hurricaine! let hhope the suns still there tho,.

Good Luck with your TTC- ( its tiring!!!)

Speak soon

Hope your well this evening PolarBear!

My GP yesterday said we only had to wait one cycle. Not quite sure I'm ready for the ups and downs of it all yet but will be soon.

You are right about it feeling like a chapter closing but I'm with you on the worrying about it all happening again.

Still feel a bit down, hoping that that will change soon.

Not feeling up to TTC yet. Good luck to you all and fingers crossed that all goes well.

Hi everyone. I have been reading this thread as I found out today that I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. Was supposed to be 10 weeks today but had some bleeding so went for a scan. Was after a very stressful few weeks - miscarriage diagnosed at 5wks, then hospital said was too early to be sure, then heartbeat found at 7 wks - then this,

Anyway, am posting because I wanted to let you all know that although this is my 3rd MC, I also have a lovely healthy 17mth old who was conceived almost immediately after my 2nd MC. I didn't even have a period in between. I was terrified the whole pregnancy, of course - but it ended up fine and more than likely this will happen for you guys too.

I am pretty cut up about the MC I found out about today (D&C tomorrow) but it makes it a lot easier knowing that if it hadn't been for those first 2 MCs, I wouldn't have my lovely boy now - if you see what I mean. I couldn't love him any more than I do - he's the baby I was waiting for. I am trying very hard to think - what will be will be.

I hope that this post comes across the way it is intended - i.e. as positive news and encouragement. You guys will get your longed for babies too, and I'll have a little brother or sister for my baby soon too.

It still hurts a lot, having a MC, especially after having seen the heartbeat and having told people.

Gosh starkadder, so sorry to hear about your ordeal - so up and down and then ending in this. Hope the op goes okay and you recover quickly.

Thanks for your positive words of encouragement - especially at such a difficult time for you. It is important to be optimistic and to have encouragement.

Hope you have lots of love and support to get you through this, and hope your little boy brings you extra joy.

lots of love
xx

Thank you Am home again now.

Also, am realising that believing in this pregnancy and thinking it would be OK (unlike my very terrified and superstitious feeling the time before, when it actually WAS OK) didn't make a difference to how I feel now it is over - if you see what I mean. I don't feel worse because I allowed myself to be happy in those first few weeks. So I think next time I will also try and stay positive.

hello, I hope you don't mind if I join in...

have just got home from a scan (7+5) when I found out I must have had an early miscarriage.

Am feeling v upset and shocked. Was so convinced all would be well and I'd have my baby in April.

Am crying right now but hopefully will start to feel better in a few days....

Welcome Waspy Lady, though I'm so sorry you have to join us. It's a terrible thing to go through, but hopefully you will find comfort in these pages, and comfort in the fact that you are not alone in what you are going through. I hope you have a lot of supportive people around you. Be kind to yourself and don't try to rush yourself into feeling better too soon. This is a very big thing to go through, so take your time. But know that it will get better.

Keep posting, cos it does help.

Lots of love, and lots of strength xx

Jules, PolarBear, Starkadder... how are you ladies doing? xx

Hey there Temm09

Not so bad, had ERPC last Monday and am glad that is all over. Still seems to have slight bleeding, am hoping that will be over soon as its the last physical reminder.

Hoping to move on and try again, just scared about it all happening again.

But other than that things are improving.

How are you doing?

HI GIRLS
I just wanted to say hello and see how you were all doing??

I am back at work now and feel much much better. i seem to be getting on with it and feel abnormal that i feel ok?

is anyone else feeling "OK" ??

I hope you are all recovereing after a horrific time.

Polar bear and Temm09, how are things with you>

Lots of love

Jules

just read temm09 and polar bear message. !

Im ok ta!I have had so much love and support of you guys and wanted to say thanks

for the new girls joining this, try to be strong>I have only had one miscaraige but the pain was enuf to last a lifetime.

Try to understand this is a process of nature.

be strong ad be happy.

Im still waiting for a period- - - this is my normal time to be on- but nothing0 but i guess its only been 3 weeks since my miscarraige so it may take some time.

I feel I have come a long way in 3 weeks- - - you will too starkadder and waspy lady. I hope the next bits are as painless as possible. there will be tears, and all sorts of emotions- - just try to ride them out- - - go with the flow- - - you will be put back together again after wht seems like you have be crushed by a steam roller

lots of love

Jules the scan that identified my MMC last week showed I had a retroverted uterus, not sure if this is the same as introverted?

I've done a little research and it seems about 1 in 20 women have it and there is no known link to fertility so fingers crossed for us both.

Thought I was 10 weeks last week but sadly the scan showed the pregnancy only got as far as 6.5 weeks. I'm glad you feel like you've made some progress over the last few weeks - that gives us all some hope that the big black clouds will lift at some point soon.

hi guys
Thanks so much for asking after me too :-) I always feel like a bit of a thread crasher

I have been a bit up and down but am feeling better today.

I don't mind not having a baby in March...I am happy to wait...but I did want THIS baby. I already felt quite attached to this baby, and was already thinking about my life in those terms...I have to keep reminding myself that it isn't happening, and it's over this time.

Also, I was quite worried and depressed after my first 2 MCs. I was OK but not really myself. You guys know what I mean. After my DS was born, I was SO happy and have been so happy ever since...and I don't want to go back to that worried, anxious state.

The thing is - the statistics ARE in our favour. Even those of us who've had three or more MCs are still more likely than not to have a successful pregnancy next time. Basically, if you were going to bet money on it, you'd bet that we WOULD have our babies?and that it would all be fine- So I think we should believe that.

starkadder- - - how do you think I ended up on this thread- - I gate crashed too! as they say the more the merrier- everyones stories are different and maybe we can learn something from each other???

I was due in march too- - Its hard getting used to the fact there will be no baby in march. You do think back and thing- ohh i would have been 4/5 months pregnent by now. But things happen for a reason - and well we have not choice but to accept it and try to move on. We cant think of that what ifs now- we need to become strong again. 2 miscarriages must have been hard but you have got thru it. .

Mishmash 24. I have done a lot of reading to do with retroverted uterus - im not sure what a introverted one is. The nurses all told me its got nothing to do with a miscarriage or fertility etc but that its rare but common???? when I went for my scan a week after the pills- - they said my womb was clean and back to normal- -they diddnt have to do a internal scan so im not sure if she meant it had gone totally normal. But as far as I know its just in a different positon to most women. so yes hope is there. Like you i thought i was 10/11 weeks preg but baby stopped at 7-8weeks. Seems a lot of women have a MMC. I am sorry for your loss and i hope that you feel better very soon.

I still have off days but overall i feel ok ; - gotta be!

lots of love and strengh to you all. - you can become whole again. trust the process and beleive.

JUles

opps = diddnt mean more the merrier in that sense- - - i was trying to be welcomming!!!

i wdnt wish this on anyone!

but no one should be shy joining- its given be so much help this tread and the wonderfull ple!

Polar bear- its understanding to be scared it will happen again = but we cnat live in fear- - we just have to Trust the process and beleive. Be strong. HOpe the bleeding goes away soon. ( mine went withing a week- but the major bleeding stopped a few days later too- so not sure why thta happend to me! i guess we all different !

night hunss
z

Morning everyone.

Glad all is getting better with you Jules, good to hear you are moving on and are back at work ok.

I will trust the process as I do want to have a baby but just know that I will be apprehensive for the whole time!

Starkadder - you sound so positive, I like your viewpoint - lets go with those statistics!!

My scan said I had a retroverted uterus as well (maybe we should form a club here!). My Mum (ex-midwife) said it was just that it laid more towards the back I think which is why I had back ache as part of my PMT. I think if its the other way around you get stomach pains.

Lots of love and positive thoughts all round.

Wow, everyone is sounding so positive and accepting and brave. Well done ladies

I have had a bit more time to get back to 'normal' since my MC was at the end of May, but my body is still a bit messed up and I don't seem to have ovulated this month. Have bought a Clearblue Fertility Monitor and hoping that things will normalise soon and I will have clearer idea of what's going on and will be successful at TTC! But there are ongoing lessons in patience and accepting that this is all beyong our control.

Jules - funny! The more the merrier!!!

Starkadder and PolarBear - we are ALL gatecrashers!

Starkadder, thanks for the positive and encouraging thoughts. It's so admirable since you have had three MCs now.

WispyLady and MishMash - hope those black clouds are lifting for you both.

lots of love xx

Thanks again all I am rather impressed that I sound positive

The thread I started asking about other people who had successfully had one baby but also had recurrent miscarriages has helped too. Lots of positive stories on there.

here

evening ladies!

well we all have to be brave and give off good vibes - if we all sat here moping round-we would feel shit! have have to go through our process and deal with it and help others heal while we are at it.

We all have to get back on our feet and all else will follow.

Try to not look back to the past, worry about the future, ..its better to concentrate on the here and now which is most important.

Umm retroverted Uterus - - - to come to think of it polar bear- i rarely get period pains- but have a very awful back problem- flares up now and then- not at any particular time but when it does- it kills! I have been to physio and had consultants look at my back- - its called a weak back and i need to do excercises- - not one dr has said it cd be down to a funny womb?????retrovert groups ...ummmm

Polar bear = have your periods returned?? im waiting for mine- - can any of you ladies who have been through this before tell me how long your periods were- - im just waiting for one so we can try again. but drs said wait at least 2-3 cycles. i dont wanna wait that long!

anyway lots of positive vibes to all of you ladies!

I will have to quiz my Mother about the whole retroverted uterus thing again, see if its just a midwifes tale thing or not.

No AF has not returned yet but then again I am still bleeding following the EPRC. Not sure how much longer it supposed to go on for really. Not heavy but tis there nonetheless and annoying.

Not sure about this waiting 2-3 cycles business - be over the hill by the time I can TTC again!

x