Message for Belgo...

[monkeybumsmum]

Hi Belgo, I hope you don't mind me getting in contact like this. It's Charliesmum here (I namechanged a while ago) and if you remember I'm also in Belgium like you.

I just wanted to ask you for some advice - I've just had my second miscarriage in five months, and I know that this also sadly happened to you. I just wanted to know what is likely to happen now? My gynae has done some blood tests on myself and dh, but I don't know the best way to proceed from here.

I hope you don't mind me asking what they did after your second miscarriage, if they did anything at all?

I hope all is going well with your pregnancy?

Hi monkey.

Sorry to hear about your second miscarriage. How many weeks were you? My two miscarriages were also five or six months apart. I was very happy with the treatment I recieved at Gasthuisberg, they gave me a follow up scan about a week after the miscarriage which reassured me that physically at least all was over and I needed no more treatment. Both miscarriages were around 6/7 weeks.

I was very worried that two miscarriages in a row meant that there was a big problem. Dh was also very stressed out about it, and I think if I had said that's enough, we're giving up, he would have agreed.

I spoke to my GP about having further tests, and she said that she could refer me to a gyneacologist for specialist tests, but she also said that in her experience, miscarriages often just happened and did not necessarily mean that anything was wrong with me.

I never did go for further tests, as deep down, I think I knew that I had just been unlucky and that my chances of having another baby were still very high. I became pregnant very quickly - on holiday - and of course the first three months were very worrying. I was offered a scan at 7 weeks, and I delayed it until 8 weeks as I knew that a scan at 8 weeks would be more conclusive then a 7 week scan.

Fortunately for me, everything has gone well this time.

I have a friend who had two miscarriages at the same time as me. She went on to have acupuncture as an alternative therapy, she feels this helped her, and she is also pregnant again.

What tests has your gyneacologist carried out?

Hi, thanks for your quick reply!

We got to 12 weeks this time, and after a scan at 8 weeks which was normal, it was a huge shock to find out at the 12 week scan.

I'm terrified that there's a problem - I think I need to have a more positive attitude about the possible future, after all this does happen to so many people. I'm so pleased to hear that everything's going well for you with this pregnancy, it gives me hope...

We've had blood tests done (I had 13 vials taken so they're testing for a lot!). I have an appointment mid October to find out the results, and I think my gynae was going to do tests on the foetus and the placenta. Did you have a D&C for either miscarriage? I'm racking my brain trying to think of reasons why this has happened - one of the things I'm thinking is that we got pregnant too soon after the first D&C... This time we're going to wait at least 6 months before trying again.

Re dh, I think mine is the same - he says he's really worried about the toll it's taking on me. He said we'll give it one more go, and then he'd be happy to stop and be grateful for what we've got. I feel that it's got to go right next time as I so want another baby.

With regards to acupuncture, I have lost a bit of faith in it really. I've always been a huge fan, after it got me through the awful sickness with ds. This time I went when I was sick, it made it even worse, and the lady said that the baby was a strong baby and everything would be fine......

It's just heartbreaking isn't it.

A miscarriage at 12 weeks is very hard. I really don't think you becoming pregnant so soon after your first miscarriage would have effected the outcome of this pregnancy. Your body knows when it is physically ready to become pregnant again.

I have a friend here in Belgium who had a miscarriage at 15 weeks, and she had a d&c, and became pregnant again in her following cycle, a successful pregnancy. In fact, most of the women I know in their thirties or forties have had some sort of problem with miscarriage or infertility, it's incredibly common, and there are so many stories of hope. By all means wait 6 months until you feel ready to try again, but please don't give up hope.

Belgium health care is very thorough and I think in the UK they wait until you've had three miscarriages before they start doing tests. I hope the tests they've done will give you some answers, and try and rest and look after yourself and give yourself time to recover.

Thanks Belgo

You take care of yourself, and try and rest before the little one arrives. Good luck, and I shall be watching out for the birth announcement x