2nd miscarriage and feeling lost

[DuckboardandTowel]

I had a mmc in July and fell pregnant again in September.
I had a scan and saw the fetal pole with cardiac activity and was so happy and relieved, then 4 days later at a further scan there was no longer a heartbeat.
This was such a shock I feel like my world has crashed down around me.
I have opted for expectant management for a week but am scheduled to go in next week if nothing happens.

I dont know why Im posting Im just lost, I have only told my workplace out of necessity and I haven't told any of my friends or family as I just find it embarrassing now.
I feel like my body has failed me and am just sad.
I dont think I will try again as this is too much upset for me. I am plodding along and pretending to be normal.

I'm really sorry for your loss. It's such a rollercoaster, and so hard to cope with - you've been so happy and now you've crashed down again. Only you know if you can go on trying - but you don't have to make a decision on that right now! Give yourself time.
For what it's worth I had 4 mcs, tried one more time and had my son.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve had many losses and my second mmc was particularly difficult, it’s the shock of it happening again when you’ve had scans that indicate all is ok. Take some time to heal and be kind to yourself.
I have had a lot of losses, some late on but I also have 3 DC so there is always hope if you ever do feel you might want to try again but right now look after yourself as best you can.

Thank you for your kind replies. This is the weirdest emotional experience Ive been through.

A very close friend is pregnant and her due date is 1 day away from my first miscarriages due date, I have her baby shower soon and am dreading it. I am of course over the moon for her but secretly have a twinge of sadness that I should be on the same journey and Im not.
I will be ok just as I was the first time, its just draining.
I have 2 older children and not for one second thought anything could go wrong with them and thankfully it didn't, what a privilege that was.

This is so hard. My daughter lost twins back in march at 9 weeks...missed miscarriage..and it's been such a struggle. She's just over 8 weeks pregnant again and will be going for a scan soon. She won't tell me when as I'll worry! It's the only time as a mum I've felt totally helpless in her life as she has really struggled with the loss.
I really feel for you as I know how awful my daughter will feel if she miscarried again.

You've not failed. It's not you. I hope you get through this ok. It's unbelievably hard for you and your partner.

My daughter also had 7 friends get pregnant just after her miscarriage..they are slowly being born and she struggles.

I had the same but after 13 years of unknown infertility and 2 miscarriages , we started the adoption process and l unbelievably became pregnant straight away and went on to have 2 Dds within 17 months of each other . All my friends were pregnant even my sister and it was hell on earth for a time but we coped in private by talking to each other , me and my DH . When l had my misscarriges the Dr said to me ,' you can get pregnant that is what you have to take from this ' . She was right . Wishing you the very best @DuckboardandTowel l am looking forward to the day when you come back and tell us you are the Proud Mummy of a little boy or girl ❤️ .

I think you are very brave for going to the baby shower. As someone who has had three losses, I've decided it's best for my mental health to duck out of these and see the friend separately. They have always understood. Do what's right for you and I am wishing you so much luck for the future, there are so many stories of hope on these boards, there is every chance that it will happen for you.