Still being hit with grief a year later

[Fallulah]

We had a MMC last year. I’m a teacher so I had it dealt with using MVA on the Monday and went back to school for the start of term INSET on the Wednesday. Almost immediately found out a colleague was pregnant and then another around Christmas time. Worked ridiculously hard all year - staffing issues meant it was really tough. Towards the end of the summer term I did speak to my head about how it felt to be the one picking up the pieces and working so hard when people had gone on maternity leave and students needed specialist teachers not cover, given my circumstances. Head was understanding. To be clear, I love the colleagues who have now had babies - absolutely no malice there.

September has rolled around again and there is just no let up - no improvement in timetable , no time to carry out extra responsibilities, I feel like there is picky fault finding going on and I’ve been given the important/tricky classes because I am good and I get results. The pressure is high. I’m exhausted already. I was just talking to my mum about it and it hit me that I shouldn’t even be there - I should be on maternity leave with a 5 month old. This isn’t at all what we had planned.

I’m so upset and I actually think it doesn’t really have a lot to do with work at the moment, or at least without the miscarriage I could better cope with work.

How do I get over this and move on?

I’m so sorry for your loss. I also had a really busy period at work (self employed) straight after my miscarriage, and had no choice to get straight back into it. When I finally was able to take it a bit easier 6 months later, the grief / burnout hit me very hard - I think it coincided with what would have been my due date too. Are you to see your GP and take some time off sick for the sake of your mental health? It sounds like you are burned out from this all, which is totally understandable.

Oh I'm so sorry - this is very hard. After I'd had three miscarriages my GP asked if I wanted bereavement counselling and I was so surprised because it hadn't occurred to me that anyone would think that what I'd gone through was 'important' or grave enough for that. I didn't take her up on it but OP, would you consider it? It might help.

Sorry for your loss OP. You are allowed 2 weeks off (I think the guidance/rule changed recently) you should have taken the time you needed.
Could you consider part time in future?

Sounds like you need some time off now though, don't hesitate.

And I know this will not come across as helpful but getting pregnant myself 3 months after the 1st MMC took the edge off the grief. Granted, I was very anxious during the following pregnancy because of the MMC and needed some support.

Following the MMC I accessed help via online meetings with CRADLE charity, spoke with early preg loss nurse from my local hospital.

I would have needed at least 5 days off for both my MMCs due to surgery (all fine but takes a couple of days out) and medical management taking so long and not going well.