How can I help my friend

[Niftymum88]

How can I support my friend?

my friend and I both fell pregnant in December and both lost at the same time in February.
she’d had a previous loss the September before, and I’ve lost previously many years ago.
I was lucky to fall pregnant quickly after my loss this time and currently 16 weeks.
i know she’s struggling so much, I don’t bring up our baby unless she asks. I just know she’s struggling with grief and I want to be able to help her but I don’t know how.
she’s already said she wants to try again but after Christmas because she wants to grieve first but she’s finding it hard.

is there anything I can do or suggest to her to help her.

I honestly have never been pregnant so I can't say much there, but if your friend is struggling, maybe you just need to be there to support and listen to her. Sometimes, being the empathetic ear can be more helpful than anything. Giving her space to grieve, but not too much. If she's ready, you could suggest other forms of having children e.g. IVF, adoption. But I think I'm probably getting ahead of myself there, and like I said, I've never had a child so couldn't fully understand that kind of loss. Of course, you know your friend best. Still, I hope I've been able to help.

I think just being there in a non judgemental way is all you can do. I suffered from infertility. I had ivf. I lost 4 babies.2 sets of twins. I felt grief. Inadequacy, jealousy, self loathing for the jealousy. It was hard and complex. I love my friends but couldn't be around pregnant people. I missed a lot. I still can't go to a baby shower. My friends were supportive, non judgemental and let me led with what I could cope with. I didn't meet my best mates baby until they were 6 months old.