Struggling to conceive after MMC

[CoastalSea]

Hi everyone,

I suffered a missed miscarriage in March last year. I had medical management which wasn’t pleasant and took me a few weeks if not a few months to recover. Since, we have struggled to get pregnant (in August I had a chemical pregnancy but bled soon after). We took a break for a few months but unfortunately since trying again at the end of last year, still no luck.

We were very fortunate the first time as we got pregnant incredibly quickly. I’m just frustrated and confused why this time round it’s taking much longer.

I took an ovulation test this month and I did have a high/peak result which is reassuring. Since the MMC, I do get spotting about a week before my period, and I don’t know whether this may be an indication that something isn’t right.

I’m hoping anyone can relate and can give me any guidance? Especially with potential fertility issues since a MMC. Will be going to the doctor in a few weeks hoping for some hormone tests if I am unsuccessful but hopefully that will not be the case 🙏🏻

Sending love to anyone in the same position as I know the pain you’re feeling ❤️

@SureLook so we weren’t properly trying, nor were we preventing anything. He was working away on and off last year and it happened one weekend he was home. Couldn’t get my head round it as it was literally the one time 😅 my periods were also a bit irregular as well so I never found out until I was 5 weeks gone.

This cycle has probably been my most normal cycle (comparing to before) as I haven’t had the whole host of PMS symptoms but I had a bit of cramping when I came on. I hope that’s my body telling me it’s recovered finally but who really knows?

I’m so sorry to hear you had a second loss. I wish if anything we had reasons for the losses so we could say why these things happen. To be honest “sometimes these things just happen” just doesn’t cut it. I think I really struggle with not having a reason, when we do everything right..

Again, didn’t want to put pressure on myself so we just went with the “if it happens, it happens” approach, however I became obsessed with being pregnant. I was desperate and it was so unhealthy. Probably the hormones but it was horrible to go through at the time, pretending to be okay but really not okay.

@Lozzaxxx I know, it can be shocking when it happens even when you want it to!
That sounds good with your cycles. It sounds like they're settling down. I genuinely believe I had the second loss cause my body just wasn't ready.
Thanks for your kind words. I understand your frustration around not knowing. Sometimes you want there to be something wrong so you can take a pill and fix it. Annoyingly, I do feel I just had bad luck.
It can become very obsessive. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Have you thought about chatting to your GP?

@SureLook It definitely was shocking haha even more so to find out it was twins! We seen the heartbeats at 6+3 and everything was okay. At 7+3, 1 of them was gone and by 9+2 both were. All they could offer me was that Mo-Di twin pregnancies are very high risk and because they share the same blood supply, if one twin was to get sick etc, the chances are that the other would be the same.

I really get that as I don’t think my body was ready for months afterwards either, as much as you will it to be. I can only hope it does happen soon now I feel my body is finally showing signs of my hormones settling.

I’ve just turned 34 last week so that’s also playing on my mind. I’ve had a chemical before as well, and I did go to the GP maybe around June because I have really bad anxiety at the best of times and she was very nice. I got bloods taken (progesterone came back a little low but nothing to worry about) but nothing else noted. She mentioned doing therapy which I have tried before and it didn’t help, and I find speaking with others who have experienced the same thing more helpful anyway. She also said that after 3 losses, they would investigate but I think I will go back around Christmas time anyway if nothing happens.

How are you getting on with your pregnancy? I hope all is well and you’re doing okay 🩷

@Lozzaxxx aww, I'm so sorry. Losing both of them at two different times is so hard.
100%. I read so many stories of women catching straight after their MMC without even having a period and it being a successful pregnancy. I really pinned my hopes on that. I had a period in February and we started trying after that. I was gutted when I got my period in March, really upset. We caught again in May but discovered the blighted ovum in June. I just wasn't ready.
I've had my suspicions that my progesterone is low but I've never had any testing done. After my second loss the EPU said they'd start me on progesterone anyway. I think going back to the GP at Christmas time would be a good plan. Cause it'll be nearly a year then since your loss.

We actually had our NIPT yesterday afternoon. All is well. Baby was moving around and had a very strong heartbeat and measuring exactly at 10+1. We were delighted. Just waiting on the results of the NIPT now 🤞🏻

I have heard the stories too, and for some reason I thought I would be one of them since we weren’t properly “trying” the first time! But now I know better that my body went through trauma and had to take time to heal. It’s good you were started on progesterone, I was also on that as I had some spotting (hence the early scan). I think they prescribe it if you have history of miscarriage. Yeah definitely gona go back at Christmas but hopefully I won’t have to! I don’t know what testing the NHS offer, though. If I have to I will look into going private.

Aw that’s brilliant 🥰 and must be so reassuring for you to see baby looking healthy after the year you’ve had. It does give me hope it can still happen for me too. So glad all looks good 🥰

@Lozzaxxx I know. I had such high hopes that I'd be one of those lucky people who catch again straight away with no issues. Trauma is the perfect word to summarise it. The mental and physical toll it takes on you plus the hormone rollercoaster. This is my third pregnancy since November!
Fingers crossed you won't need to go to the GP at Christmas. That would be the ideal scenario. My public appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic is in March 2026 so we were gonna look into things privately as well. I'm in Ireland and they said the waiting list was 3-6 months but March makes it 9 months. It's madness!
Aww, thank you. It absolutely can and will happen for you ❤️

@SureLook Trauma is definitely the word to describe it. Definitely not something that once you miscarry, that’s it over with. You don’t properly realise how long it takes to recover physically and mentally until you actually go through it! Thank you, I really hope so!! Oh jees 9 months is a long wait, but I know the NHS waiting lists here would probably be even longer. Our waiting lists for different departments are sometime 2 and 3+ years. Absolutely crazy. Thank you so much I really hope so and thanks for listening to me, this really does help!! 🩷

@Lozzaxxx I know. Before I had a loss I just thought of the physical process and that I'd be sad. But I thought it would be over quicker and I'd feel better sooner. You just don't get it until you go through it.
Of course, that's what we're here for. Reach out anytime x

I am sorry for your loss I am going through the same. My advise is to take your temperature in order to confirm ovulation, the ovulation strips are not enough to confirm if you are ovulating. Good luck and keep strong!

Hi all. I hope you are all ok ❤️

i am so sick of TTC. I had two MMC last year, the last one really got to me so I took a few months off to get my head straight. I have just reached six full months of TTC now following this and nothing.
Well, I say nothing, I really felt “pregnant” this month and I did a test at 10Dpo, saw a faint line, faint but absolutely there! I was delighted. Fast forward to 14DPO where I thought let’s try a digital - not pregnant. AF came 3-4 days late. I don’t know if it was a chemical or a faulty test but I feel so done.
I have been trying to conceive DC2 for almost two years now. Because of my age, I have to go back to my doctor for whatever next steps I’m going to have to do to try to make this happen.
I have low dose aspirin, I take all the vitamins, I’ve lost weight, I test ovulation and get peaks, and nothing is working anymore. In my two MMCs I could get pregnant ok but not stay pregnant. I got progesterone for the second one but it didn’t work.
I feel utterly hopeless. I can’t think of another month of TTC and I’m turning 40 soon. It’s just all so bloody shit. 💩
Sorry for the outpouring, I just have nobody in my real life who understands this 😣

So sorry you're going through this shitty journey. Between my losses it's taken 6 months twice, 9 months once and 3 months once to conceive again. Sadly lost our 5th pregnancy at 22 weeks as they had to induce me as my life ended up at risk from infection so lost our little girl.

Now back for attempt 6. TTC after loss is not for the faint hearted! If you ever need a rant, rant away.

@Moosey898oh I am so sorry to hear that. What an awful journey you have been on - sending big hugs to you and I hope you are doing ok.
i think we just need to let it out and rant sometimes, its true xx

And best of luck @Moosey898i really really hope you get there ❤️

@peepsypops I'm so sorry to hear of what you've been through. It is so hard and disheartening. Have you had any testing at all yet? Sometimes it just takes time x

@peepsypops thank you, you too x

I'm sorry it is tough. We've recently decided not to try for a second baby, because we worry that my (rather sensitive and empathetic) toddler would pick up on the updated and downs. I don't know I feel about that. I always thought we'd have two.

I felt like my life was on hold for the 3 years between us deciding to start a family amd my eventual baby arriving.

Is it worth having a month off, arrange the GP appointment and then having a think? How does your partner feel about ot all?

Is it time for a new project? Something else to focus on? This is clearly weighing on you so much yo the exclusion of other healthy interests!

(I arranged for our garden to be redesigned to give me something to focus on... I got pregnant while it was being done and then had to plant out 500 potted plants during my newborns naps...)