When to start trying again?

[californiacooper]

I had surgical management for a MMC last Thursday. Everything went well and I have no pain/hardly any bleeding now.
I'm (almost) 37, this was my first pg after 2 years of trying. I conceived naturally but immediately after IVF stimulation for a freeze all cycle (I have two frozen embryos in a clinic abroad). I have low AMH so IVF has a lower success, and I think I may not ovulate regularly due to low number eggs.
I'm (obviously) keen to start trying again straight away,but have heard you're supposed to wait for the next period before trying. Is this just for dating reasons? Is there any greater risk of mc or problems from trying this cycle?

[ReetPetity]

I’m sorry for your loss.

I believe there is no greater risk of loss, just that pregnancies in the cycle immediately following a miscarriage can be harder to date.

Wishing you all the best 💐

[Geraniumm]

I'm sorry for your loss. I specifically asked a consultant this question and he said it was just for dating purposes, no increased risk. I've found a scientific study which backs this up too. I've chosen to wait as my body isn't recovered due to some post op anaemia and a small amount of retained products so I feel I need the extra month but if I felt well now I'd probably be trying again straight away.

[cheeseycrumpets]

Hi @californiacooper I remember you from some earlier threads and was hoping you’re doing ok. How has your recovery from surgical management been? I ended up having surgery too after my pregnancy tests kept coming up positive and a scan showed a large-ish amount of ‘retained products’ three weeks after medical management. I was a bit shocked as I’d had three intense episodes of bleeding and assumed everything was out I know it’s what I need to do to move forward.

Everything I’ve been told by doctors/read on my own seems to indicate it’s fine to start TTC as soon as you feel ready. I’m torn about it myself because I want to try straight away but I worry that not waiting for a period will end up causing me more stress because I’d always be worried about the dates in the early stages. I know pregnancy after loss will be a different proposition because I’ve already lost the joyful naïveté I was so lucky to have with my first baby but I don’t want to add to the worry! Sorry, none of this is terribly helpful but please know I’m sending all the positive thoughts your way x 

[UrsulaSings123]

Hi, I just saw your name come up, it's good to 'see' you. I had surgery on the same day as you. We decided to TTC straight away. Research I've read says that you have less likelihood of further miscarriage if you conceive within 3 months of a miscarriage. The only reason I've seen for waiting is just for dating. I feel physically fine, stopped bleeding about 10 days ago.

Do you do opk's? I have been using them for a while and did one earlier this week out of curiosity at the same time as a preg test (which was an evap line, barely anything) and it was quite high, so I carried on testing and I'm pretty sure I ovulated a couple days ago. As I've been feeling fine and no bleeding etc we just went for it. I don't feel I've got time to lose simply for dating, and if you're using opk's then I don't see why that can't help with dating.

[UrsulaSings123]

@californiacooper hope you're doing OK, been thinking of you.

[californiacooper]

@UrsulaSings123
Hey sort of good to see you. I've not been checking MN for a few weeks. It's been nice not to think about everything.
My period came yesterday, just under 4 weeks since my surgery. I bought some OPK strips and was doing them but I think I must have missed ovulation totally.
I contacted the nhs who said that I don't qualify for ivf now I've had a mc, and they will need me to try again for 2 years. I don't have 2 years with an AMH in the gutter and 37 in a month. I begged them to see if there is anything they can do, and have been sent a letter for a zoom appointment next month. I just wish the whole thing hadn't have happened as we'd be j the middle of treatment now.
It sort of feels like it never happened, and I sort of feel like I'll never be a mother, I just don't see how it will happen.
Maybe, if I'm very lucky,
Hope you're doing well and let me know how it goes!
Which OPK strips do you have, I've never used them before. There were 2 lines on the ones I used but then after turned up

[UrsulaSings123]

Oh my god I can't beleive they would do that to someone. It was a LOSS not a successful pregnancy. How can they make someone try again for 2 years before they will help. It really feels inhumane. Your post left me feeling angry for you so I can only imagine how angry and desperate you must be feeling. I really, really hope they do something to help at your appointment next month, with the low AMH in mind. I'm guessing going privately isn't an option at the moment. Let me know if you feel up to it.

Im in a really supportive thread on the conception forum called "CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3", there are some people on there who have been trying for a long time and they've all experienced loss and they've been very welcoming and kind. Please come along if you'd like to.

I got my period the day before yesterday and it lasted less than 2 days and was very short. I'm hoping my cycle is more normal this month.

I use the premom ones on amazon, they are compatible with the premom app. You start testing once a day in the afternoon/early evening near the start of your cycle then carry on testing until the line starts to get a bit darker, then test twice a day until it 'peaks' and then once it starts getting lighter again you know that ovulation is usually 24 - 36 hours after the peak. The peak can be quite short, only lasting an evening, which is why you start testing at least twice a day until you see it. I've found them quite useful to use but some people find them stressful.

Here's the link - https://amzn.eu/d/69uHVTq?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[nearly8]

@californiacooper @UrsulaSings123 hey ladies, sorry to hear things are still pretty rubbish and up in the air. I started my period last Wednesday and it's been like a tsunami ever since. 2nd since most recent loss and last month was the same. Sending you both lots of love and hugs and best wishes for your TTC journey 💐💐❤️❤️

[UrsulaSings123]

@nearly8

@californiacooper @UrsulaSings123 hey ladies, sorry to hear things are still pretty rubbish and up in the air. I started my period last Wednesday and it's been like a tsunami ever since. 2nd since most recent loss and last month was the same. Sending you both lots of love and hugs and best wishes for your TTC journey 💐💐❤️❤️

Thank you. Its so strange isn't it how people experience different things. I just hope it's not a sign that my lining is damaged or too thin or something, as I've always had very regular periods with medium level flow and it was something I could always rely on. Hopefully this month will be better. Nice to hear from you. Hope you are doing OK.

[soundsys]

I'm sorry for your loss.

It really is only for dating reasons - you're apparently more fertile just after a miscarriage (nature is weird).

If you feel emotionally ready to go again the. No reason to wait (unless on specific medical advice).

(I tried for 16 months for DC2, had a miscarriage at 9 weeks then got pregnant again immediately!)

[californiacooper]

@soundsys my period came last Tuesday. I was kinda hoping to jump on that extra fertile train but I've been on/off spotting since the surgery, and my periods normally last about 3 days but this one is lingering so I guess it's not all still back to normal in there

@UrsulaSings123 I'll have a look at that thread... i got those OPk strips, they were saying I had a high but then my period came so don't know what's up with that. Did you get the premium app? Or just the free bit? Do you put the strips into the easy@home section or the premom section? I'm not sure as they are kind of both aren't they?? I've put them in both and got different numbers.

[UrsulaSings123]

I just have the free version and click on 'tests' with the little camera pic in the middle of the bottom main screen, then click 'add test result' on the easy@home bit. You have to scan it several times I've found until it picks up the actual strip rather than getting you to move the picture around and put it in manually. I just keep pressing the back button each time it doesnt work until it picks it up automatically.

[RememberZen]

I'm sorry for your loss, I'm kind of in the same boat as you, just started trying at 39, had my first loss at 9 weeks in February. Just started trying again, so I'm hoping I will get a positive soon. But I was told the same thing, that because I got pregnant naturally, I am no longer eligible for help with IVF, told me to come back in two years or after I've suffered another two consecutive miscarriages. I was heartbroken. The doctor just kept telling me I've still got plenty of time and my eggs are good, but I still can't help but panic. You will get there, just keep trying, have faith and breathe 🙏

[californiacooper]

@RememberZen oh no I'm so sorry to hear you're going through the same thing.
That's ridiculous really isn't it, it makes me so angry. Had you had any tests done already?
I've been sent this appt for next month and I don't know if it's just going to be to tell me I don't qualify now or if there can be some kind of extenuating circumstances because my AMH is so low. I know for a fact I really really don't have a lot of time, there isn't plenty of it left. I'm in the bit at the end of countdown where the music starts back up.

I really hope TTC goes well for you- are you using OPK or anything else to help or just seeing what happens?

[RememberZen]

@californiacooper thanks, yes it is stressful and unfair isn't it! We had just started the IVF referral, I only had my FSH levels tested, which I were told were good and my partners semen analyse was done, which came back he had high amount of poor sperm, so the doctor was just sending him for another test to confirm that, when I found out I was pregnant. Now I feel I'm back to square one, I felt terrible to be honest. Is testing AMH more reliable than FSH do you know?
I really hope you get the news you're looking for, everyone deserves a chance, the system seems very unfair.
Thanks, me too, I think the only reason I got pregnant was I just started using the at home iui syringes, I used alongside with conceive plus fertility lubricant and checking OPK every four hours or so during ovulation, to get peak timing, and I got pregnant the second time trying this method! I really wish there was help for me to get this done professionally, but there doesn't seem to be at this point.
Good luck to you, don't give up hope 🙏

[Blossomofhope]

Hi ladies,
So sorry to hear about everyone’s struggle.
Im interested to hear so many of you are trying again straight away. Two doctors have told me to wait for dating but also to ensure there’s no remaining tissue (even though I’ve had a scan which shows all clear). So I reluctantly have agreed to wait even though I’m approaching ovulation in the next week. But this thread is making me question things. I should mention that it took 5 weeks from 7 week scan to getting the all clear so not sure if that makes a difference.
None of this seems straight forward 😅

[cheeseycrumpets]

Oh @californiacooper and @RememberZen that is so infuriating that they say you don’t qualify for IVF! It just feels wrong and unfair! I’m so sorry that you’re going through this and am sending you all the luck for the next cycles.
@Blossomofhope I’m not sure if the advice you were given was due to specific circumstances. I find it crazy how much things can vary from one trust to the next! I had a MMC and was still testing positive three weeks after medical management due to retained tissue so ended up having surgery and tested negative one week later. I do feel nervous about trying again but couldn’t bear the idea of waiting any longer either! What feels right to you?

We decided to try again this month after I caved and started doing ovulation tests and had a peak at the end of March. My period arrived yesterday so this obviously wasn’t our month (feel so ridiculous thinking it could be) but trying to be hopeful about starting again.

Sending everyone lots of love on this crazy journey x

[Blossomofhope]

@cheeseycrumpets I absolutely hate the thought of wasting a month - but I think I’m fearful of it happening again if I don’t wait. And I already feel like I’ve wasted four months with ivf, getting pregnant and miscarrying. So I’m thinking I should wait and give my body a chance (and I’ll start taking a probiotic), then the following cycle I’ll try again. Hope your next month is luckier

[cheeseycrumpets]

@Blossomofhope I think that makes perfect sense to give your body (and mind) more time to reset. This process is stressful enough and you don’t need to add any anxiety or worry by going against the advice you’ve received. What probiotic will you start taking? I haven’t really done much research into vitamins and supplements and only take Vit D and Folic Acid daily. Thank you for the luck and sending you the same!

[Blossomofhope]

@cheeseycrumpets I’ve ordered nua biome off Amazon but my doctor advised it. I asked about taking a probiotic instead of doing the Emma Alice test. So just thought it was worth a shot.

[nearly8]

@Blossomofhope if you feel ready I would go for it. I caught pretty much straight away after my first and second losses, they weren't successful pregnancies and in a way I suppose it kind of felt worse with hindsight but it did at least comfort me in that I knew I could still get pregnant if that makes any sense. But I totally understand wanting to fully reset and get things as prepped and ready as you can.
Hope you other ladies are ok @californiacooper @cheeseycrumpets @UrsulaSings123 try and find something to make you smile today 💐 💐