MMC experiences please

[CurlyWurly1991]

Hi, I should be 7+6 today but after a private scan yesterday I found there was no HB and baby was measuring 6w2d. Sac as expected for my gestation. Just trying to get my head around it all. As it was a Friday I have to wait until Tuesday to speak to GP - duty midwife said I would need to be referred to gynae as not yet ‘booked in’ as antenatal. Made things much harder than they needed to be.

What should I expect? I’ve had no bleeding but since the scan some strong period Pains. I have stocked up on OTC painkillers and big pads. Fearful of pain and lots of bleeding, having read up I would prefer the surgical option but appreciate it may start naturally before I get the chance to request it.

should I be cancelling social stuff? Getting childcare for my 10y old? Letting work know? I’m due in on 4th Jan.

thanks so much

@Francescarae gosh it sounds like they are totally rushed off their feet… that is terrible you are kept waiting so long xx

@CurlyWurly1991 they finally called back at 7pm. I asked for surgical management and said I am mentally and emotionally struggling with this and they booked me in but are really really busy so can’t do it until the 22nd which is another 10 days 😭, so I am going back first thing on Monday morning for another try of medical management to see if that works in the meantime and if not I am already booked in for the 22nd, I never knew it would all take this long, you definitely made the right decision going straight for the surgical management.

how are you doing? X

Oh my goodness @Francescarae Im so sorry you have been kept waiting so long. Glad they called back before the weekend though and you have a bit of a plan going forward. Are you in any pain? xx

no pain at all, nothing else has happened at all x

@Francescarae I guess that is good in one way, personally I found it hard to begin to process the emotional side while waiting for a natural mc or to have next steps in terms of treatment. I hope things get easier for you in the next couple of days xxx

hey @CurlyWurly1991 hope you are okay.
I went back to EPU today and am no clearer, they have cancelled my surgery and didn’t give me any more medical management as I have had a light/medium period they can’t be sure that that wasn’t the miscarriage even though I’m pretty sure it wasn’t as I had no heavy bleeding at all, I now have to go back tomorrow for a scan and then see another doctor and apparently we will go from there, such a long process. How are you feeling? Did you go at the weekend? X

@Francescarae goodness, what a nightmare for you. I’m glad you are getting a scan tomorrow and hope that gives some clear next steps. You must feel in complete limbo.
No I didn’t go at the weekend, it’s just as well because I started to feel very fatigued and have a lot of period like pains on Sunday. It just comes and goes, I think if I do too much I feel the bruising where they must have put pressure when doing the surgery. Also my pregnancy symptoms came back today which is just odd and horrible. Only faintly but it feels so sad. I’ve signed up to talk to a counsellor next week so hope that helps.
take care xx

Hey @Francescarae hope today went Ok xx

Hey @CurlyWurly1991 i had a scan and I I expected the baby was still there in the sack, I wish I didn’t see it but they left it on the screen while I was getting changed and it made me feel really really sad.

im now booked in for surgery on Friday have to be there at 7am which I’m now really nervous about but hopefully I will be okay, how long were you there for? X

@Francescarae oh that is so sad, I’m so sorry they didn’t think about the screen and what you had to see. I think sometimes they forget what it is actually like for us experiencing this, whereas for those working in the field it’s an everyday occurrence.
How do you feel about the surgery? I had to go in at 7.30, the surgery itself was about 11 and I was home by 4pm. I took lots of things to read, tablet with downloads and headphones, cosy clothes, etc. It wasn’t too bad. I really hope it goes OK for you.

@CurlyWurly1991 they left it on the screen while I was getting changed and I accidentally looked, so sad.

they said that I don’t have much choice about the surgery as it’s been 7 and a half weeks since the baby died and if my body was going to miscarry it it would have by now, it’s just clinging to it for some reason and they don’t want me to get an infection so I do understand that I need to have it, I am nervous though, I’m nervous about waking up on my own after and maybe being confused and sad. Thanks for the tips, do you have to do a pregnancy test 3 weeks after the surgery? X

@Francescarae I'm sorry they left you so long ago :( I went in for 7am for mine and was home by 1ish. I was fourth on the list out of six.

@TheBirdintheCave wow you were home quite quickly, how did you find the whole experience? Was it okay? I’m really nervous x

@Francescarae I found it ok but then I'd had a general before when I had my tonsils out so was prepared for all it entails. Everyone was SO nice. I went to sleep and a few seconds later (it felt like) I was being woken up by the nurses. Then I went back to recovery with lots of warm blankets (it was Jan last year) and got a sandwich, a cup of tea and a bag of crisps. I felt very looked after and cared about. Once I'd eaten and they'd checked my stats and made sure I wasn't bleeding too much I was allowed home.

The whole thing was a big relief to be honest and it was nice to finally draw a line under the whole experience (MMC likely at seven weeks, diagnosed at nine weeks and operation at 12 weeks) and be able to start grieving properly. I took the full two weeks off work which really helped and I definitely needed it. I'd only taken three days with the first one.

@TheBirdintheCave thanks for your reply, that’s really helpful. I see what you mean about drawing a line under it I hope I feel like that, I found out at 12 weeks baby died at 8 and a half weeks and will be having the surgery at what should be 15 and a half weeks, feel like I’ve lost so Much time, so will hopefully help me move on.

they said they will put me on a ward after I’m out the recovery for a while until I can go home so I’m really hoping I won’t be there long. Sounds like yours was straight forward xx

@Francescarae Ah yes, I got moved back to the ward too. I forgot that part. That's where I got my lunch :) Recovery was just whilst I was waking up.

@Francescarae my experience was very similar to what @TheBirdintheCave described. Everyone was really lovely. I didn’t feel I could start to emotionally process the MMC until after I had recovered from surgery. I would say I’m 90-95% back to normal now physically and it’s about 10 days later. Emotionally it’s going to take time xx