MMC experiences please

[CurlyWurly1991]

Hi, I should be 7+6 today but after a private scan yesterday I found there was no HB and baby was measuring 6w2d. Sac as expected for my gestation. Just trying to get my head around it all. As it was a Friday I have to wait until Tuesday to speak to GP - duty midwife said I would need to be referred to gynae as not yet ‘booked in’ as antenatal. Made things much harder than they needed to be.

What should I expect? I’ve had no bleeding but since the scan some strong period Pains. I have stocked up on OTC painkillers and big pads. Fearful of pain and lots of bleeding, having read up I would prefer the surgical option but appreciate it may start naturally before I get the chance to request it.

should I be cancelling social stuff? Getting childcare for my 10y old? Letting work know? I’m due in on 4th Jan.

thanks so much

@CurlyWurly1991 hopefully it’s early and you don’t get too hungry, I know what you mean about being hungrier with the pregnancy hormones I also feel like I’ve got used to eating more x

@toomanyleggings Oh I’m sorry you went through this too… thank you for the heads up. I think I’ve been through the discussions about remains etc when it was all booked but will try and prepare myself for that.
@Francescarae its awful isn’t it. I have also gained 2kg …I think based on white starchy carbs and butter.

@CurlyWurly1991 thinking of you today xx

Thank you for all the kindness and well wishes everyone. It really means a lot and reaffirms my awe for women and what they go through. I’ve had the procedure and come round from GA, been allowed to eat and just recovering on the ward. I’m told all went well. It was fine just a bit weird to be in hospital as it’s unusual for me (I’m very lucky to experience good health). Everyone has been so kind.

@Francescarae Ive been thinking of you and hope you have some clarity about where things are at. If not hopefully the EPU are providing support to you xx

Really glad to hear it went smoothly @CurlyWurly1991, I’ve been thinking of you today 🙏🏼 I hope your recovery goes well, take it easy x

@CurlyWurly1991 happy it all went well for you and you are recovering, I’m still waiting as not a lot has happened for me yet just like a very very light period, the EPU said to wait until Monday and see if it happens by then it not they will give me another dose so once again more waiting, I never anticipated it could take this long with medical management. Sounds like surgical management was a good option x

@Francescarae Im so sorry it really is crappy that this is so drawn out for you. Did they say next Monday ? That is so long! How do you feel about asking for it sooner? I can’t imagine what it is like to go on waiting, and very sorry you are going through this xx

@Francescarae do you have a MyCare/MyNotes app to email the EPU directly? I was able to get in touch with my local EPU via the app once I started being seen/treated by them.

I had had two scans a week apart but they wouldn’t book me in for any management until I’d had a third scan in another week (because they found a second embryo at the second scan which they hadn’t seen before). A couple of days after the second scan, I basically emailed via the app and begged to be booked in and not to have the waiting dragged out any more, and they phoned back and booked management for me directly after the third scan.

Sorry, a bit of a confusing post, but essentially, if you can contact EPU directly in any way and ask for something sooner, they might hopefully be able to do something.

Hi @Francescarae I've read what you've been through and I'm so sorry it's been so drawn out for you. I'd definitely push for being seen again sooner than next Monday. Would you consider/have you been offered the surgical option?

I am waiting for surgery on Wednesday, a bit like you I've had the beginning of the miscarriage (but not with the medication) but now it's slowed down. I am in quite a lot of pain though, it's so horrible just waiting for things to happen isn't it.

@CurlyWurly1991 yes they said next Monday, feels like a life time. I might call back on Wednesday if nothing has happened as I’m supposed to be starting my new job next week and feel stuck in this awful limbo. Feel so let down by my body x

@warmbutteredtoast i wasn’t sure about the surgery due to the small risk of scarring so went with medical management but I do think if I could go back and decide again I would probably choose the surgery as they never told me the medical management could all take this long, I thought it would all be over within a couple of days and I really hope any to try again as soon as possible and this is really dragging it out, I think if nothing has happened in a couple of days I will call them back and would definitely consider the surgery now. X

@meepthebeep I think I will contact them again on Thursday, thank just want this all to be over with, I never expected miscarriage to be so complicated, I feel like my body can’t even get this right x

@CurlyWurly1991 how are you feeling today? X

@Francescarae Yes I thought medical management would happen quickly too, it must be so frustrating for you I’m so sorry. If you are thinking of surgical I’d advise getting booked in ASAP, I don’t know what your hospital is like but I’ve had to wait a week for my surgery. You can always cancel it if you change your mind.

@Francescarae Your body is probably trying to make it as easy and painless for you as possible, it is better for it to be gradual in terms of blood loss although I do understand wanting it to be over quickly. I’m so sorry you have to put everything on hold while you wait for your baby to pass, it is very hard and I do think a lot of the information out there on miscarriage underreports on how challenging it actually can be physically. Lots of people I have told about the surgery have been surprised that I did it and with GA like why would you need that… clearly they have never had a MMC, fortunately for them.
I feel very tired and didn’t sleep well but physically good and only very little bleeding/spotting. Was more like medium period flow yday but has slowed down. No clots or pain.

wondering if I can get a train to a family event including staying over at the weekend, not sure if I will be sufficiently recovered by then.

@warmbutteredtoast oh wow that is a long time, I don’t think I can handle any more waiting, a week is quite long isn’t it x

@CurlyWurly1991 you are right, people really don’t understand miscarriage. If you are feeling up to it I would definitely go, it might do you good and some normality will probably be nice for you. I would go if physically you feel up to it x

@CurlyWurly1991 I felt ok in the first week after my surgery and then it mentally hit me quite hard. Just take it one day at a time and see how you feel come the weekend ❤️

@TheBirdintheCave Thank you, I suppose I will need to keep an eye on things. It’s the mental side that I anticipate will be unexpected at this stage I guess. I have a 2 week fit note from the EPU from 5/1 but have just self certified absence for work so far this week. I can always use the fit note if I need it next week. Hard to be too emotional in my job as it’s customer facing and quite stressful.

@Francescarae How are you doing? I hope things are moving forward as easily as possible for you xx

@TheBirdintheCave emotionally it all hit me quite hard last night. It’ can be really unpredictable, can’t it.

@CurlyWurly1991 Yup. Really sorry you're experiencing that :( It's the drop in hormones too I think. I'd definitely recommend taking the full time off work if you have a fit note from the hospital. My manager confessed when I came back and if I hadn't agreed to take the two weeks he was going to insist that I did 😂

@TheBirdintheCave thank you. That makes a lot of sense. I feel much less pregnant today so I guess the hcg has plummeted.

I’m still frustratingly in the same situation, EPU have said they will give me another go of medical managment again on Monday but I’m worried about it not working again, I feel like is going to work if it didn’t work the first time? Maybe I would be better to try the surgical management or do I give the the medical managment one more go, it’s so difficult and I just want it to be over with.

I hope you are feeling slightly better today. I know what you Mean it it me really hard last night too and I sat on my bathroom floor and just cried for nearly 2 hours, family seem to think it’s been over 2 weeks now so I should be okay but I’m really really not, also someone I know posted about their 14 week bump and it nearly broke me, I should of been 14 weeks yesterday, I know that we will get through this but it’s incredibly hard and people who haven’t been through it seem to have no idea, I haven’t had an easy life and have lost my dad and other family members etc and I do think this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through I’ve never felt emotional pain like it and my heart actually aches.

sending you hugs and if you want to talk then I’m here xx

@Francescarae I’m so sorry, how frustrating … this is unnecessarily prolonging your suffering. I really don’t think a man would be treated this way? I don’t understand why they can’t offer surgical management at this stage. Really they need to get their act together. Do you have a family member that can accompany you and speak up a bit in support of you? I am so sorry you’re still going through this xx

@CurlyWurly1991 it really is prolonging it, it’s been 6 weeks since the heartbeat stopped and I still feel like I can’t even begin to process it. I’m going to call EPU first thing tomorrow morning and see if I can have surgical management, it will probably be a long wait though x

@Francescarae Hope you have had some support from EPU by now xxx 🤞

@CurlyWurly1991 called EPU at 9am still waiting for a call back, hopefully they will call soon x